To tip or not to tip….

[MumWithYOPD]

Went out with colleagues to a restaurant last night and as some people ate off the set menu, some didn’t, some drank alcohol, some didn’t the bill was passed around for everyone to work out their own bill. That went surprisingly well. With the exception of one person everyone rounded up their meal to include a tip for the waitress (it was a really busy restaurant, she worked hard, was attentive and helpful, we didn’t have to wait long, she was great) The one person in question didn’t even guesstimate their bill they gave the precise amount. AIBU to think that if you receive good service in a restaurant the waitress/waiter should be shown this by way of a tip?
And to preempt the question, the person concerned is financially secure.

@Chikapu

So you'd rather not socialise with this person ever again because you think you're Lady Bountiful because you left two quid on the table? Jinkies!

@Chikapu I appreciate the use of Jinkies. I left £5 personally because she was a really good waitress and I felt she deserved it. That doesn’t make me think I’m better than someone that left less but my personal opinion of which I’m entitled to is that my coworker is a skinflint. I am basing this on numerous events witnessed over the years. Last night was the final straw. There are some people who are first out the cab but last to the bar and that sums them up and no, I don’t want to socialise with them. I’ll still be professional at work but as previously stated I am removing myself from a situation I don’t like. What is wrong with that?

@girlmom21oh that's a good idea!
@Wingedharpy I'd feel really self conscious doing that but I think I'm going to have to start doing something

@hahahabants

Also, I’m not judging you. Just letting you know that you sound seriously unhinged

@hahahabants now if I was saying my colleague couldn’t go out to work functions that would be unhinged. I’m removing myself, it won’t affect you. Unless it was you last night… we’re you in that little Italian and had the lasagne??? I can’t believe you didn’t leave anything for the waitress 😉

The background numerous events over the years cannot be judged here, but there's nothing skintflint about paying the amount charged in a restaurant in the UK, any more than paying the amount charged in a cafe, a barber's, butcher's, your gas company or your local supermarket.

Totally up to the person. Just be grateful that they paid their way and there were no quibbles. Also, how do you know they are ‘financially secure’? They may have figured out that they can only afford to come out if they spend £xx and only that. You don’t really know what’s going on at home.

@FormerlySpeckledyHen

Some people are simply tight for some reason. She is one of them.

I'm one of them. Going out for dinner is a very expensive and rare treat I can barely afford. Id rather be rude and put the £1 towards something my kids need.

Haha you’re right, it totally won’t affect me. I just thought it was a drastic thing to do over something so small but everyone has to do what’s best for them🤷‍♀️

AIBU to think that if you receive good service in a restaurant the waitress/waiter should be shown this by way of a tip?

Exceptional service, yes, maybe. Should it be related to Bill? No.
It's a service industry for which they're paid for. The same as teachers, nurses, firemen etc don't get tips. And arguably more worthy?

As for @MumWithYOPD no longer going to work meals if the lasagne eater is on attendance, grow up!

As for @MumWithYOPD no longer going to work meals if the lasagne eater is on attendance, grow up!

@ChoiceMummy it’s not like I’m going to announce it in the next staff meeting. I’ll politely decline future meals. Can’t see the issue myself. Just think of the money I’ll save on gratuities!

There's no tipping culture in the UK so tbh, if someone didn't tip for whatever reason I wouldn't batter an eyelid.

Tbh, most, if not all, places have a service charge added on these days which I imagine most people pay, whether the service is good or bad, because they don't want the awkwardness of asking for it to be removed.

[quote freecuthbert]@livvymc

I'm a care worker, I was talking about myself and my job, I made it abundantly clear in my post what my job is, so don't feign cluelessness about why I referred to care workers, christ. Does everyone have to speak in general terms around you?

By the way, it is not miserly for someone to forgo paying a tip, you are tipping someone who is already paid to do a job, you have already paid for the service which is factored into the costs. Maybe you think it's miserly, but it's really not. The more people reinforce this notion the more normalised tipping culture becomes and look how well that worked out for America. Sure, tip if you can and want, but forgoing a haircut for an extra month just so you can stretch it by another £3 is a bit much, there's not an award for being a martyr here. When you're on such a low income yourself why should it be your job to subsidise other people's wages, including those who are self employed and set their own rates as is often the case with hairdressers?[/quote]
Why do you keep pulling me up on the parts of my post that I quoted from you?! It was YOU who mentioned £1/2 being miserly, not me! I simply asked how any tip was more miserly than no tip
You just seem determined to take offence to my posts, even the parts I’m quoting from your own posts
Have a good night!

I might tip if the service I receive is above and beyond, but I rarely do. Whether your friend chooses to tip or not is entirely up to her/him surely.

Surely the rule is, if you can afford to tip and want to, then do it.
If you can't afford it or don't want to tip, for whatever reason, then don't.
No-one else's business.

@livvymc

Is this your first time on a forum? You quoted my first comment, in which I was addressing some of the comments on here. I referred to my own experience as a care worker (which you seem to be particularly hung up on for a bizarre reason). I responded to you in kind. That's the gist of it. It happens on threads often. Sorry you can't take criticism but dish it out then act like you're being targeted. Laughable. But I'm the one offended, sure. Get a grip.

Does it really bother you that much? She must have had a decent tip still.

Perhaps they thought you'd be paying tip afterwards. Or perhaps, as a rule they don't pay tip. Perhaps they think the restaurant should be a decent salary to start with. Perhaps they didn't think the service was any good. Perhaps they thought the food was overpriced.

They were entitled to not pay a tip.

Their salaries are often shit so of course I tip and I judge people who don't. I can't help it.
If one tipped care workers then I would tip them. Care workers could become waiters and get tips instead? Care work is also shit and badly paid.

Cannot bear people who don’t tip. Rudest, scabbiest, meanest thing ever. If you afford to eat out you can afford a couple of quid for a tip for good service. Absolutely mortified for anyone counting out the exact amount and not even leaving a quid on the table. Mean as ditchwater.

@Satingreenshutters

Cannot bear people who don’t tip. Rudest, scabbiest, meanest thing ever. If you afford to eat out you can afford a couple of quid for a tip for good service. Absolutely mortified for anyone counting out the exact amount and not even leaving a quid on the table. Mean as ditchwater.

Completely agree! Some people are also getting quite angry and defensive about not tipping, must have touched a nerve

Restaurant salaries are pretty similar to other customer service jobs like retail. Why should restaurant staff in particular be entitled to (on the idea that something who doesn't tip is doing wrong) additional pay for doing their job? Why be so against people who don't supplement the wages of one type of customer service worker?

@Satingreenshutters

Cannot bear people who don’t tip. Rudest, scabbiest, meanest thing ever. If you afford to eat out you can afford a couple of quid for a tip for good service. Absolutely mortified for anyone counting out the exact amount and not even leaving a quid on the table. Mean as ditchwater.

My neighbour used to say that people being tight with their money were embarrassing. He was always flashing his cash. He lost his house.

.My neighbour used to say that people being tight with their money were embarrassing. He was always flashing his cash. He lost his house.

IME people who act like they have money don't. People who have a lot of money don't act like they do.

My neighbour used to say that people being tight with their money were embarrassing. He was always flashing his cash. He lost his house

What has that got to do with leaving a small tip!! Ha ha that comment cracked me up!

My neighbour used to say that people being tight with their money were embarrassing. He was always flashing his cash. He lost his house.

This has nothing to do with tipping!

@Cheesechips

My neighbour used to say that people being tight with their money were embarrassing. He was always flashing his cash. He lost his house.

This has nothing to do with tipping!

I meant it in the context of tipping. He used to slag people who didn't tip. He was so busy throwing his money around he lost it all. Massive wage. He definitely earned but he didn't respect it.

@Satingreenshutters

Cannot bear people who don’t tip. Rudest, scabbiest, meanest thing ever. If you afford to eat out you can afford a couple of quid for a tip for good service. Absolutely mortified for anyone counting out the exact amount and not even leaving a quid on the table. Mean as ditchwater.

What about if the service has been poor? Are people who don't tip for poor service 'scabby' and 'mean' too?