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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to expect a better response from my manager?

107 replies

secretsofthesun · 04/02/2022 17:43

Primary school teacher here. Yesterday one of my students hurt me to the point that I had to leave school and go to A&E. This is the third time the child has been violent towards me - the first two times were minor in comparison, but after this I've had enough.

Spoken to my head as I no longer feel safe with the child in my class and they have said that the child is fine to remain with me and that I need to find better ways to handle them. I've asked for suggestions for ways to handle them as I'm already following the behaviour policy and the child's specific behaviour plan and been told I "should know what to do". AIBU to expect a better response? This is my second year teaching and first year with a child like this so I'm not sure if I'm expected to suck it up as part of the job.

OP posts:

Ionlydomassiveones · 04/02/2022 17:45

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

DistrictCommissioner · 04/02/2022 17:46

You’re not the Y2 teacher at my child’s school are you??

TolkiensFallow · 04/02/2022 17:49

No I don’t think you should have to put up with being attacked at work.

Peppermint81 · 04/02/2022 17:51

Speak to your fellow teachers for advice if managers not helpful?
Intrigued to know what a primary school child did so you ended up in A&E?!

user1477249785 · 04/02/2022 17:52

I'm not a teacher but regardless of whether or not you should know how to deal with this, you told your manager that you don't and asked for help. It is her JOB to help you in that circumstance. Sounds very poor to me. Hope you are ok OP

Fridgeorflight · 04/02/2022 17:53

I'd get straight on to your union. They will sadly have dealt with this many times.

ChittyBangs · 04/02/2022 17:53

I hope your ok.

Ofc it's not part of your job to get hurt.

Very poor response from your head.

Do you have a union?

Arabellla · 04/02/2022 17:54

I agree with the first poster, speak to your union. Insist the child be moved.

Arabellla · 04/02/2022 17:55

@Peppermint81

Speak to your fellow teachers for advice if managers not helpful? Intrigued to know what a primary school child did so you ended up in A&E?!

🙄

Sideswiped · 04/02/2022 17:56

@Peppermint81, bitten, kicked, hit with an object, punched, stamped on if on the floor... Need I go on?

Bizawit · 04/02/2022 17:57

This is a primary school child making you feel unsafe and putting you in A&E? I think I’d find it more understandable if they were an older kid..

Sideswiped · 04/02/2022 17:59

@Bizawit ^^^

Shitfuckcommaetc · 04/02/2022 18:00

Does this student have an EHCP in place, any funding for a TA?
Come up with and present a plan of action to your head and see what they can do.
Is SENCO involved? You know the child best, in a perfect world, what statagies do you think would help?
Try and identify trigger points and calm the situation before it escalates. Work with the child on regulating their emotions (zones of regulation, mindfulness etc)

Newrumpus · 04/02/2022 18:01

The headteacher may not know how to deal with this and thus has no suggestions. You do need to get union advice but you also need to put in writing to your head that you need a better plan for the child’s management as the violence is escalating. How old is the child and what support does he/she currently get?

Aquamarine1029 · 04/02/2022 18:02

Union, immediately, and I would refuse to return to the classroom until the child is removed.

mbosnz · 04/02/2022 18:03

A primary school child put a family friend in A&E, and her leg has never been right since.

JaneExotic · 04/02/2022 18:04

This has happened to me before. You cannot refuse to have the child in your class, nor can you refuse to teach.
What your union will absolutely support you in, is talking to the head/Senco etc about how the child’s needs should be managed.

ooherrmissus14 · 04/02/2022 18:07

Children who have suffered trauma can be very volatile and can be very aggressive. When they are emotionally dysregulated they can be very aggressive and it's surprising how strong they can be. Although we can understand this, it doesn't change that you're getting hurt. Really hope you're ok OP X

titbumwillypoo · 04/02/2022 18:10

Do they have a SEN issue?
Do they have a positive handling plan?
What training on positive handling and de-escalation have you had?
What caused the child to lash out?
How did a 6/7 year old hurt you so badly that you required A&E? Stabbed with scissors/pencil or thrown chair?

SamphiretheStickerist · 04/02/2022 18:12

@JaneExotic

This has happened to me before. You cannot refuse to have the child in your class, nor can you refuse to teach. What your union will absolutely support you in, is talking to the head/Senco etc about how the child’s needs should be managed.

This. Teachers don't have the choice of not teaching a child who has been violent towards them, no matter how severe. They MUST find ways to manage that child's behaviour. That is what is expected of them.

So yes, got your union and ask for their support. They will help you out that ball back in your SMTs court. It is their job to support you, especially given your length of time in the job. They can't just shrug and leave you to it - well, they can, but you can and should push back, hard.

latetothefisting · 04/02/2022 18:15

@Bizawit

This is a primary school child making you feel unsafe and putting you in A&E? I think I’d find it more understandable if they were an older kid..

There's a primary school in the street next to me. I'm short (5'1) and loads of the Y5 and 6 kids are taller than me! Some are pretty stocky too. Kids these days are huge, it's not like a 3 year old you can hold at arms length. Plus if you're worried about hurting them it's very hard to defend yourself in the same way you would if an adult tried to hit/kick/bite you etc.

OP I would go on the sick and call your union. You have a right to be safe at work.

SamphiretheStickerist · 04/02/2022 18:15

@titbumwillypoo

Do they have a SEN issue? Do they have a positive handling plan? What training on positive handling and de-escalation have you had? What caused the child to lash out? How did a 6/7 year old hurt you so badly that you required A&E? Stabbed with scissors/pencil or thrown chair?

How is OP supposed to read that as anything other than doubting her word and turning the blame on her?

She said, two years on the job. Her line manager, SMT, should be far, far more actively supportive than that and, given any injury at all, should be holding a meeting to discuss and disseminate whatever information can be given.

FawnFrenchieMum · 04/02/2022 18:16

@titbumwillypoo

Do they have a SEN issue? Do they have a positive handling plan? What training on positive handling and de-escalation have you had? What caused the child to lash out? How did a 6/7 year old hurt you so badly that you required A&E? Stabbed with scissors/pencil or thrown chair?

How do you know they were 6/7 year old and not 11 years old?

QueenofDestruction · 04/02/2022 18:16

No wonder so many leave teaching. Nobody should have to put up with abuse.

Original poster

secretsofthesun · 04/02/2022 18:21

Primary-aged children can be shockingly violent at times... I don't want to be specific as to avoid being too identifying (not that I imagine many teachers went to A&E yesterday, but still).

I think the child would benefit from a 1:1 TA and potentially a reduced timetable. They are usually triggered by not getting their own way and having to do work (which is essentially multiple times everyday. SENCO is involved but there is no diagnosed need. At a minimum I think the child needs to be either internally excluded or sent home on the days they are extremely violent as they are not safe to be around other children. Essentially every other adult in school aside from the head thinks they should go home on these days, but the head always disagrees.

I plan on going to my union on Monday, but my head seems to act like everything's fine so I wasn't sure if I was in the wrong by wanting more done. I appreciate the reassurance on here.

OP posts:

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