AIBU to expect a better response from my manager?

[secretsofthesun]

Primary school teacher here. Yesterday one of my students hurt me to the point that I had to leave school and go to A&E. This is the third time the child has been violent towards me - the first two times were minor in comparison, but after this I've had enough.

Spoken to my head as I no longer feel safe with the child in my class and they have said that the child is fine to remain with me and that I need to find better ways to handle them. I've asked for suggestions for ways to handle them as I'm already following the behaviour policy and the child's specific behaviour plan and been told I "should know what to do". AIBU to expect a better response? This is my second year teaching and first year with a child like this so I'm not sure if I'm expected to suck it up as part of the job.

*or Jesus Christ rather....

OP, go off sick. Contact your union. Your head is shit and probably won't budge. You're working in an unsafe environment and OFSTED would not deem it safe.
I've worked in this type of school and it probably won't improve. I've also been teaching for over 20 years so have experienced this before.
I'm sorry this has happened to you, but do not be someone's punching bag. This child has the potential to become even more dangerous.

Rainbowconnection1
I don’t doubt the injuries they could inflict at all.
I wonder if the difference in treatment is because all children I work with are above the age of criminal responsibility so what they are doing is illegal whereas in primary all except year 6 would not be. no teachers should have to put up with what you speak of.

Message union asap

^that comment was to the parent whose 'd'c threw a table/chair at a teacher and it was 'absolutely not his fault but the teachers' 🙄

I'm astounded that some people think that a child couldn't possibly hurt an adult enough to warrant a hospital visit. Something as simple as a bite that draws blood would have to be seen in A&E.

I'm also astounded that anyone can blame the teacher in a situation like this.

@toppkatz I'm not astounded at all. Primary children can be extremely creative with using everyday objects as weapons. Pencil sharpener blades being one of them. And yet still, it is somehow the teacher's fault. I'm in a fantastic school at the moment, but I havent been in the past. The amount of people that can't believe a primary child can't hurt you; I've become used to it now. It's a shame isn't it.

There absolutely needs to be a better response. There was a child just as you described in my daughters class for 2 years. His behaviour affected her (and the rest of the children) enormously and it got so bad that she didn’t want to go to school and didn’t feel safe due to unprovoked attacks on staff and children. Many a time she and the rest of her class were made to leave the classroom with him left inside for their own safety. Staff had little or no support (I know this directly from the teachers involved). In the end I had to remove my DD for her own mental health and it’s taken over 18 months at a new school for her to settle in and love learning again. The Head has since been dismissed and I believe there are more provisions and structure in place. Sadly, this was too late for my DD (plus 5 of her classmates and the class teacher) who left the school. Please insist on support and get the union involved if necessary.

@Bizawit

This is a primary school child making you feel unsafe and putting you in A&E? I think I’d find it more understandable if they were an older kid..

You don't have a fucking clue about what some children are like, do you. Yes, even primary school children.

Re primary school children injuring adults, one of the problems is that although generally it would be possible to defend oneself or restrain a child, staff are at risk of being seen as using disproportionate measures. Unfortunately precisely what constitutes appropriate force is not always clear and could well end a teaching career. It’s often a split second decision and even training in a mainstream school doesn’t clarify matters.

I think some posters here are really missing the point.
Children generally don't act like this for no reason. So those children are not receiving the right support from their teacher/school or lack of goverment funding. It is rarely their "fault". They're small children. Ffs.

Be outraged at the lack of funding in schools, lack of special schools!!

Also on the "parental responsibility" lots of these children don't have parents, let alone responsible ones.

@HackAttack

I will say this on a flip side, my 8 year old, who does have diagnosed needs, had a wonderful year last year, never aggressive at home, had had a number of major meltdowns this year which have included throwing chairs because of his teachers refusal to work with him how his teacher did the previous year.

The teacher is the problem, not him, after extensive challenge from the Ed psych and me he is settled again but he was not at fault for what happened.

Seriously - have you even read what you posted? You think the teacher is the problem not you chair throwing child? The teacher is NOT the problem, your child is the problem that the teacher has to deal (or fail to deal)) with.

WRT to what damage can a primary age school kid do - lots esp if they decide to bring a knife in from home 'just in case they need it'. True story a 8 yr old brought a knife in to stab another student, male teacher was hurt getting the knife off her and teacher was verbally warned a minute later by the head who watched it happen for putting hands on the girl.

Teachers today put up with far far far too much from a number of persistent offender pupils and also from parents who have no idea what really goes on in schools. Any teacher who makes it to retirement age deserves a reward in my book.

In your second year on the job… that’s so poor from the head not to understand support and development requirements. I hope the union help. Fwiw my big strong 6yo could hurt me if he had serious behaviour issues, I can easily picture this being a problem below grades 5/6.

@HackAttack, we still shouldn't have to put up with this.
Re-read what you've written.

If thy did that to another student, what would happen?

@wombat1a if a child has additional needs and are in meltdown they are not consciously thinking of their actions. It's not the child's fault it's the environment that isn't working. That could be teacher, not enough support in classroom, too much being expected of the child. If a child isn't coping the school should not expect them to get on with it. The school ie senior staff, senco, pastoral , teacher and any out side support ASCETS, Sen team etc need to look at what's happening for that child and how they can do better. If they can not successfully meet the needs of the child then the school is the wrong environment for him. But you can not blame a child who's not capable of managing their emotional state for not coping. It's the equivalent of blaming a blind person for not seeing what's written on the board.

The response to a bullied disabled child only makes me more sad. Notice the words you added. None were thrown at anyone, they were to make people get out of his space and stop distressing him. Luckily no one was hurt and as I said there were consequences.

You are choosing to read from pathetic moral outrage pretending people have no control in these situations. My child was desperately neurologically overloaded after the reasonable adjustments were not followed. He had no history of such incidents. Since his plan is being followed again, he is back to accessing learning with no incidents.

He cannot erase his disability with personal responsibility and, from these posts has a delightful future surrounded by utter bigotry.

In a professional capacity as well I have seen the difference between trauma informed schools (sadly rare) where teachers are trained in a whole new way so vulnerable children who may well be in fight or flight mode for so many reasons can access learning and incidents are far lower. Consequences, boundaries and recognising additional needs are all important however so is making learning as accessible as we can to every child who didn't pick their circumstances at birth.

Tell the headteacher, in writing and with a copy to the Chair of Governors, that you cannot guarantee the safety of the other children in the class.

I would also let it be known to other parents by use of the grapevine that their children are not safe.

The safety of other children and the teacher has to come way before this child's right to be in the classroom.

As someone who works with SEN kids in Secondary schools, this post epitomises the problems in the system. Secondary schools do a great job with kids with additional needs etc but by the time they come into contact with someone like me the damage is done. So many Primary schools are failing to meet their needs. OP's head is unfortunately displaying an all too common reaction among Primary schools, and both children and staff are paying the price.

Definitely contacting union first thing on Monday.

Some of the other children in class have been hurt by this child to the point of parents complaining. Head's response to this has been... very underwhelming.

It does seem shocking how different secondaries are to primaries. After hurting me, the child played a game with an adult to help him calm down and then went back to class. I fully understand the need for them to be calmed down, but there's no consequence whatsoever put in place by SLT. I hadn't considered the head not sending them home due to safeguarding concerns etc (which makes sense) but still... they shouldn't get to hurt me and other children with no consequence.

I do understand that I'm a fairly new teacher and, especially with how covid affected my training, may not be handling everything in the best way which is why I asked the head for suggestions and to then be told I should know what to do is simply not helpful. The child does have a risk assessment which I'm following word for word already.

SENCO has observed the child a few times and has contacted outside agencies but haven't heard any updates on that. Another member of SLT has been very emotionally supportive and doesn't understand the head's response, but also said that she's never seen a child this violent and doesn't know how to help.

I didn't realise going to the governors was any sort of option - what would they be able to do?

Shame you can’t report the child to the police. I would put it back onto your manager and the SLT to properly support / protect you. You dont need to put up with this

@Peppermint81

Speak to your fellow teachers for advice if managers not helpful? Intrigued to know what a primary school child did so you ended up in A&E?!

Wow!! Awful response!

I'm a primary school teacher - I have a 4 inch scar on my arm after being slashed with a pair of scissors by a Year 5 boy in my second year of teaching. He was 3 inches taller and probably 20lb heavier than me. He hadn't appreciated being asked to stop waving them in the face of the person sitting next to him 🤷‍♀️

I had to go to A&E to be stitched up.

I was also attacked, pulled to the ground and kicked/punched in the head and stomach by a Year 6 boy...again, several inches taller and much heavier than me. He had grabbed me from behind, wrapped his arms round my throat and pulled me to the ground in the car park after school...there was nobody around to help.

My 'crime'? I'd asked him to pick his discarded coat up in the cloakroom at lunchtime after he'd thrown it onto the floor 🤦‍♀️ Apparently I'd 'disrespected' him! He had come back to school and waited for me...scary shit!

Like the OP, I wasn't supported by either of my head teachers at the time and had to carry on teaching these kids. It was horrendous.

So yeah...primary aged children can cause serious injury.

@Aquamarine1029

Union, immediately, and I would refuse to return to the classroom until the child is removed.

This. You are an adult, I can't imagine how the other kids are coping. This isn't acceptable, child needs to be removed as it's a recurrent issue now.

I'm not a teacher but when my children were at primary school (a lovely generally very supportive and inclusive school) there was one child in one of my children's years who was an absolute nightmare. His parents were completely ineffectual. There were issues at home but nothing more than many families would experience. He made our children's lives a nightmare. The head was completely hopeless (and generally i rather liked the head and appreciated their management of lots of bits of the school). (One time on a school trip my child was put with that child and that child's parent. The parent said to me "the teacher says I'm taking your child so I can see how children should behave". )
My impression (and, as I say, I'm no expert but I'm old enough to have seen a lot) is that some heads are into "saviour mode" with some difficult children and perceive that they can singlehandedly transform that child into a different person by gentleness and understanding.
In my role we have colleagues like that too -people who think they can transform other people's lives by being kind but actually allowing those people to ride roughshod over others, making everyone else's lives miserable in the process. Kindness has a place but only when boundaries are well enforced.
We complained so many times (different parents at different times) about that child and the response was always "they're having a tough time and we're trying to be supportive". I didn't actually realised quite how bad the bullying was until the last term of year 6 and I wish I'd pushed harder for some sort of resolution.
He lasted 2 terms in his first secondary school (zero tolerance approach) and his parents moved him before he was kicked out. From what I've heard he's done much better in the second school - a friend of dc's bumped into him a couple of years later and the child told them that he had enjoyed getting the reactions (from pupils and staff) at primary school but soon realised that that wasn't the same at secondary.
I get that it is "sadder" seeing really badly behaved children at primary because one knows that often the amount of trauma that has led to that point (although I don't think that was true in the case above) is too much to be borne but that somehow seems to translate into having completely ineffective sanctions which is so damaging to the rest of the pupils and staff...