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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should the bride pay for her own hen party?

77 replies

justhaveagingerbiscuit · 03/02/2022 22:22

Just that -

YABU - bride should pay for her own hen weekend

YANBU - bridesmaids should pay for the brides portion of the hen weekend

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 03/02/2022 22:25

I think everyone going should pay their way but I don't agree with expensive hen do's.

Notmenotme · 03/02/2022 22:26

I think so too. They can be ridiculous and I resent them occasionally!

Toottooot · 03/02/2022 22:26

Absofuckinglutely if it’s more than just an evening out do. Weekend should not be paid for by others.

elliejjtiny · 03/02/2022 22:28

Everyone paid their own way at my hen night.

Toottooot · 03/02/2022 22:28

I’ll add I have zero issue with hennys unlike what seems the majority on here when these threads pop up. I’m also happy to travel for a henny but bride needs to pay.

LawnFever · 03/02/2022 22:28

I’ve never been on hen do where there was any other expectation other than the bride, and every else pays their own equal share.

I’ve only even heard of it on here that some hen dos are expected to cover the cost of the bride, I think it’s unnecessary and weird.

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/02/2022 22:28

Yes, I think so, I did.

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/02/2022 22:29

(Nothing fancy, nice restaurant meal for closest friends)

Bootskates · 03/02/2022 22:29

I wouldn't attend or host a full weekend but if it was just a night out I would pitch in for the bride

lastqueenofscotland · 03/02/2022 22:29

A meal and a few drinks out I’d be happy to cover the bride. A trip away? No.

Comefromaway · 03/02/2022 22:29

Of course she should.

TiredMamaBear · 03/02/2022 22:30

Yes! Why shouldn't they pay? I've been to Hen dos where the brides paid their way and one where we were continuously asked to cover the brides drinks/food/pottery/go ape/club entry because the initial amount given wasn't enough! Pissed me off!!

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/02/2022 22:32

@lastqueenofscotland

A meal and a few drinks out I’d be happy to cover the bride. A trip away? No.
Yup.
SallyMcNally · 03/02/2022 22:34

My hens won't let me pay (I have offered numerous times!) so I will buy as much food/drink etc as I can.

TheSoapyFrog · 03/02/2022 22:35

For the hen nights I've been on, the hens have all pitched in to cover the bride. But we're also not the sort to have extravagant weekend long events, more bars and a club, so it only works out an extra £20-30 each to cover minibus/limo, inflatable willies, club entrance and drinks.

User2638483 · 03/02/2022 22:38

I think it’s awful when a bride expects an elaborate expensive plan. If it was me I’d feel uncomfortable people paying for me (unless it was drinks or a meal or something maybe) bath then I wouldn’t want a massive do anyway, puts too much pressure on others and somehow feels so self indulgent

whatthehelldowecare · 03/02/2022 22:41

I didn't pay for my hen weekend (although did pay for food and drinks) (a weekend in St Andrews which should have been Madrid)... my bridesmaids split my share between them, and we're all covering the cost of my friends hen weekend to Krakow in May (split between 5 of us).

I'm also paying the room hire and buffet for my friends home hen despite her insisting on paying. I'd always want to chip in/pay for the bride

WhatTheFlap · 03/02/2022 22:44

I’ve never been on a hen do where the hen has paid a penny, nor did I pay for my own. Genuinely can’t believe this isn’t considered normal! The price is split between everyone attending so it ends up pretty minimal if you have a big group (all the hens I’ve been on are between 10-20 people I think)

curlii103 · 03/02/2022 22:45

I think they paid and i bought food amd drink for a wknd away

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 03/02/2022 22:46

If the bride organises, absolutely she should pay for herself. If its a surprise and more than a "hen-night" she should contribute.

It's my sisters hen do in a few weeks, we're off for the weekend, her best friend has organised the whole thing, my sister has paid for her own accommodation, but we've absorbed the costs of what we're doing as it was less than £15 each to cover it all. She'll be paying for her own meals while we're there.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/02/2022 22:46

If anything the bride should lay on a little bit of the cost for others, not the other way around!

winstonsfinger · 03/02/2022 22:47

I think brides should always expect (and be willing) to pay for themselves.

If friends/attendees insist on covering the brides share, that's up to them, but it should not be expected.

Vwswimmer1 · 03/02/2022 22:48

My friends all paid for my hen do, a weekend away with activities. My husband sent my maid of honour some money to cover food, drinks etc and did the same with his stag.

Since then I've organised a friend's hen do where we paid for her and her financee sent us money.

Luredbyapomegranate · 03/02/2022 22:50

It’s nice to cover the bride’s costs if you can
But you certainly don’t have to, and there’s no obligation to even consider it if she picked something expensive.

Missgemini · 03/02/2022 22:50

Quite surprised by the comments. It seems I have very different people in my circle.
My friends would not let me pay a penny for my hen!
I'm organising a friend's hen and it is assumed by all that she's not paying.
Different strokes for different folks!

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