Headteacher had me on loud speaker without informing me

[sparklesmakelifebetter]

So my son has SEN, but is in a mainstream High School. He is massively struggling (mainly anxiety related).

I received a call out of the blue from the Principal demanding I come in for a meeting: which is essentially a pre permanent exclusion meeting. (Even though I have a meeting booked with the SENCo and behaviour lead for next week to start an EHCP process). I've never spoken to/dealt with this gentleman before, but found him rude, Anything I said I was cut off. But my biggest upset is that I have now discovered that I was on loudspeaker, in front of at least 2 other members of staff, yet he didn't mention this to me. I've sort legal advice regarding the schooling issue, but my question is:

Is it common courtesy to be told you are on loud speaker or not?

Had I known I was being listened to by others I would not have engaged in the conversation at all, saving it all for the meeting. 1 person is someone relevant to my child, the other someone unrelated to his schooling.

Yes: You are being unreasonable, you don't need to be told if you are on loudspeaker and if others are listening.

Or

No: You are NOT being unreasonable to expect to be informed you are on loudspeaker and who else is present, especially within a professional environment.

You should definitely be told if you’re on speaker phone and who else is listening.

YABU to expect to be told you're on loudspeaker, simply because many school computers are set up to only have sound work through the board/big screen.

But you should 100% be told that other people were present for the meeting. That is not OK at all.

I'm not a teacher, but am a professional working with children. I would always tell parents if someone else was present. I often have the phone on speaker to keep my hands free to type notes, and wouldn't automatically tell them that, but that would only be in a private room.

It's very unprofessional. You should have been informed about the loudspeaker and other members of staff.

What was the outcome? Do you have to deal with him again?

You've added the 'especially within a professional environment' only to the description which agreed with you, but I think it's relevant to the description about not needing to be told. It would be courteous to be told, but as it IS a professional, educational environment, all those people present are necessarily responsible for child welfare, enhanced DBS checked, understand confidentiality etc. and only have a professional interest.

Whatever you say to one member of staff will be shared with those who need to know anyway. Same goes for children; a promise of keeping information disclosed 'secret' is not allowed. People who can help will be involved.

YANBU.

He sounds completely unprofessional.

Your child shouldn't be in pre exclusion status. None of this should have happened.

@Sandynorm, I disagree. She should have been told who else was privy to the call and she should have had the option of opting out if she wasn't expecting to be put on speaker or have others taking part in the conversation, even if they were just listening in.

Courtesy is a mark of respect. I is the foundation of trust and cooperation in professional discussions, and especially in discussions about sensitive matters such as the educational needs of a child.

YANBU . You should've been told you were on speaker and who was listening so you had the option of ending the call,ringing in later etc. It's a breach of trust and confidentiality.

Of course you should have been told other people were present, it’s ridiculous to think otherwise. Apart from anything else you may have spoken about things you didn’t want shared with others and could have made that choice had you known they were there. It’s a breach of you and your sons privacy - sharing information after a meeting, where the salient points are shared, is very different to effectively attending a meeting without the parents knowledge.

I'm not a teacher, but am a professional working with children. I would always tell parents if someone else was present. I often have the phone on speaker to keep my hands free to type notes, and wouldn't automatically tell them that, but that would only be in a private room

This.
I normally have my phone on loudspeaker so I can type as the conversation is happening. It isn't the loud speaker that is the issue. It is the fact that you thought you were having a private conversation with one person and they were broadcasting it to others.
The HT was in the wrong.

@Shuffletime I didn't realise that. So a Principal's office is likely to be set up this way?

@BendingSpoons Thanks for your comment, this would make sense to me. I understand it's often easier to have the phone on loudspeaker when also typing.

@Sandynorm Though I somewhat agree with you. This phone call was made very clear to me that it was not to discuss anything, but to call me in for a meeting. Like I said 1 of the Teachers does have something to do with my son, but the other doesn't. They are not the safe guarding lead, senco, behaviour support nor anyone else involved in my sons care/teaching. Any other phone calls I've received from the school where are others are present, I have always been informed at the start of the call.

My son could see and hear this conversation from another room, I was so surprised when he told me I was on loudspeaker that I asked another member of staff if my son was telling the truth. She looked really sheepish and said yes.

I just think if you are on loudspeaker, you should be told and if others are present again you should be told. Is it not just common courtesy?

Of course it is common courtesy!

@Whydoesthecatalwaysdothat Yes I've got a meeting with him in the morning, I'm dreading it, I feel ill prepared. He wanted the meeting the same day but I refused. I've now discovered there will be 4 of them at the meeting and I couldn't get anyone to come with me at such short notice.

@Jellycatspyjamas Thankyou that's exactly what I thought. I was so shocked at the call that I struggled to get my words out coherently, and probably sounded like an absolute idiot. So I feel even worse knowing others were present nodding and shaking their heads at the things I said.

which is essentially a pre permanent exclusion meeting. (Even though I have a meeting booked with the SENCo and behaviour lead for next week to start an EHCP process).

My concern would be that they’re trying to start the exclusion process to circumvent the EHCP process or to record they can’t meet his needs which could lead to informal exclusion. In all honesty I’d postpone the meeting until you can have advocacy services involved particularly given you’re starting the EHCP, the school need to give reasonable notice of a meeting like that. If the HT is already being underhand I’d certainly not be attending on my own.

I’d also be asking in writing for confirmation of the reason the other two people were present, and that you weren’t notified of this. I’d particularly want to know why someone who has no involvement with my child was present at a meeting and how their presence meets the most basic “need to know” standard in terms of information sharing. I’d put it in writing for the sake of having a paper trail.

I'm sorry you're going through this and yes, it is absolutely common courtesy and they should have told you who else was present.

My friend is going through this shit show, you must postpone the meeting and don't do any more phone calls, E mails Only. And always take back up to meetings. They're being devious

It sounds like you’re going through an awful lot with your dc. You’ve done the right thing by finding out where you stand legally with exclusion.
The headteacher sounds unpleasant and that he is trying to show his authority. Try to focus on the positive step of getting proper support for your ds & not on the head. All that you said, whether on loud speaker or not, would be shared among the staff but It wasn’t right if him not to tell you.

First of all, the legal framework is here assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/921405/20170831_Exclusion_Stat_guidance_Web_version.pdf

Depending upon what has happened, the head may go for referral to a Fair Access Panel as an alternative to permanent exclusion. However, once permanent exclusion is the decision, you get in touch with the Chair of the Board of Governors/LGB/Members if an Academy via the Clerk to the Governors (the details should be on the exclusion letter) and state that you wish them to reinstate your child. They then have fifteen days in which to meet.

@Jellycatspyjamas yes this is my exact concern too! They already denied me an EHCP last year as they felt the extra things they had put in place were enough. A member of the SLT 'took him under her wing' and worked miracles, but as soon as she stepped back, the cracks started to show again. Now I feel the Principal has gone over the heads of those trying to work with me and just get him out.

@justasking111 That's brilliant advice, I've always made phone calls and am now kicking myself I didn't send emails so there is an evidence trail.

@Shuffletime

YABU to expect to be told you're on loudspeaker, simply because many school computers are set up to only have sound work through the board/big screen.

But you should 100% be told that other people were present for the meeting. That is not OK at all.

Why would the average parent know that? I didn't.

I know they are over worked and understaffed, but it might be worth you contacting your local SENDIASS and say you are feeling intimidated by the HT and would like some support with a meeting.

IF they can't, is there not a friend or family member who would come with your for moral support ? Particularly someone who would be willing to sit and take notes as you were in the meeting.

Always, always "I've got Miss So and so here with me so she can hear the call, is that ok?" No reason not to!