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Original poster

Why didn't Mumsnet delete my post??

190 replies

Larafromthe80s · 02/02/2022 21:42

Just curious... I started a thread which detailed a lot of information about a situation I was in, thankfully I'd name changed for it!
Anyway it blew up and got picked up by a regional media outlet
I reported the thread to Mumsnet and continued to do so over the following 72 hours, as well as emailing them directly.
By this point the article was in 3 nationals and around 6 regionals

A family member screen shot the news article from his Facebook newsfeed to me saying as a joke "this isn't you isn't" as he he hadn't actually read the article, only the headline and thought it was just coincidental. And it was me 😖
I was mortified and am living in fear that the people it was about will have seen it.
Why did Mumsnet take so long to delete it, is that normal?

OP posts:
JustLyra · 02/02/2022 23:17

@Larafromthe80s

Just curious... I started a thread which detailed a lot of information about a situation I was in, thankfully I'd name changed for it! Anyway it blew up and got picked up by a regional media outlet I reported the thread to Mumsnet and continued to do so over the following 72 hours, as well as emailing them directly. By this point the article was in 3 nationals and around 6 regionals A family member screen shot the news article from his Facebook newsfeed to me saying as a joke "this isn't you isn't" as he he hadn't actually read the article, only the headline and thought it was just coincidental. And it was me 😖 I was mortified and am living in fear that the people it was about will have seen it. Why did Mumsnet take so long to delete it, is that normal?
This happened to me.

Mn too six hours to reply abd said they “rarely” deleted threads that already had replies. I pointed out the numerous other threads that had been deleted and sent screenshots showing I’d been recognised in real life by a neighbour.

MN refused to delete unless I posted on the thread saying I’d asked for it to be deleted and why and then it would have to be left standing for a “reasonable period” so that people could see it.

They left it for a further five hours. In which time there threads where the OP was getting their arse handed to them were deleted for privacy concerns…

I left MN for a considerable period and I don’t, and won’t, ever post for help or advice on anything serious ever again. Which is a shame as people on here have been wonderful and you get a very robust, but good board of advice and suggestions on here.

JustLyra · 02/02/2022 23:19

*three threads

daisiesonmydress · 02/02/2022 23:20

I shouldn't bite but here goes

Personal data is identifiers that anyone could correctly use to identify your existence without knowing you

So, mumsnet is not sharing unique data identifiers such as name, address, date of birth, national insurance number etc online where anyone could reasonably and confidently say that person exists. They are not sharing your unique identifier info. They're not breaking GDPR.

If you choose to post a story about yourself where a family member identifies you because of non unique identifier information (such as 'I slept with my sisters husband while on holiday in Majorca last Thursday') that is not a unique identifier being shared where any reasonable person could identify the person. Only someone who knows that story could make a guess it is you but not for sure as there are no unique identifier data.

ANameChangeAgain · 02/02/2022 23:21

The trouble is you feel a false sense of security that you really shouldn't when you post on this site know I do. It is however social media, afterall, and nothing should be written electronically that you wouldn't want to be broadcast to the whole world.

Hshuznw · 02/02/2022 23:21

I had an article taken by the Daily Mail. Absolute lazy fuckers. What made it worse was as the thread progressed I opened up about something very very personal, yet the so called piece of shit of a journalist still thought my thread was juicy enough for a story, fortunately without posting the personal details but shows how immoral she was because you would think a woman wouldn’t use another woman’s experience as a story in such circumstances.

Luckily a poster commented on my thread to tell me it had been picked up and MN quickly took it down once I contacted them. It was still outing though, as I posted about an incident, and then went on to explain why I behaved the way I did. Two people who knew about the incident found the thread on MN before it was deleted, meaning they now know something very very private about me.

Journalists can be such shits.

Aphrodite31 · 02/02/2022 23:23

[quote Wolfiefan]@Larafromthe80s if you don’t want people seeing your posts so publicly then don’t post on a public forum!
Journos often trawl here for stories.[/quote]
It's a pity, really, as I think a lot of people come on here genuine in need of advice and support, and are open and trusting. If we can't trust, it's hard for us to explain our issues and get help. I think MN does help people often, and it's unfortunate that sometimes that vulnerability is exploited.

I guess that's just the nature of a public forum. 🤦‍♀️

Sparklingbrook · 02/02/2022 23:24

You can get the thread deleted on MN (if they agree to it) but you can’t make it disappear from the internet if it’s already been shared . It’s out there. If you don’t want it out there don’t post it, I don’t see what’s difficult about that.

Monopolyiscrap · 02/02/2022 23:26

@Sparklingbrook a bit of empathy would not go amiss.

PriamFarrl · 02/02/2022 23:26

A couple of things.

First of all; if the thread has been picked up and an article written, ‘outraged mum takes to the internet to find out why her child can’t wear 3 inch heels to school’, containing a load of quotes and comments, then it doesn’t matter if MN delete the thread, the article is still there.

Secondly, this is a publicly accessible website. It’s no different to you writing it on the wall in the middle of town. Anyone can see it and any newspaper can write about it.

EarringsandLipstick · 02/02/2022 23:27

@itwasntaparty

You're just advertising it again...
Exactly! Why would you post, instead of emailing MNHQ to ask for an explanation?
Lalliella · 02/02/2022 23:28

But once it’s in the nationals it can’t be deleted from there…

Sparklingbrook · 02/02/2022 23:35

[quote Monopolyiscrap]@Sparklingbrook a bit of empathy would not go amiss.[/quote]
We warn our children about the internet. It’s the same for adults. Be careful what you put out there.

JeremyWadesBigRod · 02/02/2022 23:37

@Sparklingbrook

You can get the thread deleted on MN (if they agree to it) but you can’t make it disappear from the internet if it’s already been shared . It’s out there. If you don’t want it out there don’t post it, I don’t see what’s difficult about that.
You can put your hand down now. We heard you the first time.
Sparklingbrook · 02/02/2022 23:38

I don’t have my hand up @JeremyWadesBigRod Confused

Monopolyiscrap · 02/02/2022 23:39

@daisiesonmydress the definition of personal data is far wider than that.
Strictly speaking there is nothing in the legislation about personal posts on internet forums. But there is also nothing excluding these posts from GDPR. Certainly, if posts mean an individual is identifiable, then it meets the definition of personal data under the legislation.
In reality, this would need to be clarified through case law.

Most forums GDPR aside from registration information would not be covered by GDPR as most forums give users control over their information i.e. users can delete comments and posts. MN is relatively rare in not giving users direct control over their own information.
Legally it makes sense for MN to delete a thread when asked as only case law would clarify whether MN is acting illegally if they don't delete a thread when requested to as the person is identifiable.
Of course if it went to court the court may decide posts on forums are not covered by GDPR.
Read some legal discussions around this area. There is a fair number out there.

Monopolyiscrap · 02/02/2022 23:42

@Sparklingbrook except you included a put down line at the end of your post.
I would never post anything personal on MN and I would never give them my real name as their security is so poor. But many women do post on MN about very sensitive and personal situations. They trust it is safe here. Sadly it is not.

phishy · 02/02/2022 23:43

I really didn't want people seeing my posts that publicly 😪

Then you shouldn’t have posted on a public forum.

BoredZelda · 02/02/2022 23:43

Yep cynically I would wonder if it's in their interests to keep it up as it likely increases their income from advertising as more people visit the site.

Cynically I’d wonder why OP would want to bring it all back up too.

Monopolyiscrap · 02/02/2022 23:43

@phishy empathy?

Sparklingbrook · 02/02/2022 23:44

@phishy

I really didn't want people seeing my posts that publicly 😪

Then you shouldn’t have posted on a public forum.

Apparently we aren’t permitted to point that out.
KaiKanWhenever · 02/02/2022 23:44

Be really careful what you post.

Three years ago I posted a sexual dilemma type thing on here which was posted for advice, but a lot of posters thought was funny.

Within about two hours it was in the Daily Mail plus US and Australian news outlets Confused

phishy · 02/02/2022 23:45

OP has had plenty of empathy, she said 99% of people agreed with her.

People do need to read the t&cs before posting and not complain after posting.

Monopolyiscrap · 02/02/2022 23:46

@Sparklingbrook of course you can say it. You and others have. I simply don't know why you would want to kick someone when they are down.

Monopolyiscrap · 02/02/2022 23:46

@phishy No one reads T and Cs before joining a forum.

phishy · 02/02/2022 23:46

Apparently we aren’t permitted to point that out.

It’s like they don’t get that there wouldn’t be a Mumsnet without the advertising revenue,

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