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Original poster

Is 35 too old to find ‘the one’?

91 replies

Scarlettfeather · 02/02/2022 21:29

I’ve had a series of bad relationships, including with the father of my child.
He’s now 5 years old and I’m single.
I want to find someone who is in love with me for who I am, who wants to be with me and wants to spend their life with me, for better or worse.

Is 35 too old to believe I’ll find that person? I don’t even know where to start Sad

OP posts:
Chocaholic9 · 03/02/2022 03:08

Nope, not too old. I am late 30s and haven't met my person yet, and I have friends who met their significant other in their 40s and 50s. It's never too late!

Yearofthetygerburningbright · 03/02/2022 03:15

No, definitely not too late.

SquirrelG · 03/02/2022 03:38

Of course not! My DF met "the one" in his 80s.

GreekGod · 03/02/2022 03:59

Absolutely not. You are young and I am sure you are lovely. Be patient with it - it will happen. Just be you.

echt · 03/02/2022 05:57

Nah. I met my future DH at a works do my brother had been invited to. I was 37. It was instant attraction. 25 lovely years together, and our DD.

DiamondBright · 03/02/2022 07:33

I met my DFiance at 46, he missed most of my criteria but is perfect for me, my best advice would be to be more flexible in what you're looking for as you get older, go on lots of first dates and be prepared to meet men who aren't necessarily your usual type (but you hit it off with or find interesting) or you might miss out on someone amazing.

hugocat · 03/02/2022 07:38

Amazing post, I wish you were around when I was single! And OP, I met my second husband to be at 38

D0lphine · 03/02/2022 10:29

@WorstXmasEver

I think 35 is too old. I started looking at 25 & used to go to night clubs every few days & it took years for me to settle.
Who wants to be hanging out at clubs blegh. Them days are gone for me! And happily so!
Lolamento · 03/02/2022 11:15

No is actually a great age. Do not limit your self based on age. Hope you find it soon. Unfortunately, it takes lots of frog kissing to find the one.

arethereanyleftatall · 03/02/2022 11:47

On the contrary op! I'm 46 now and it's BETTER out there than in my twenties. Loads of people on their second time round. But it's better because people have a far better idea of what they want, and a far higher bar.

getboosted · 03/02/2022 11:50

Of course it's not too late.

Just make sure they aren't currently married, which didn't bother the OW who left us fatherless as teenagers.

PrivateParty · 03/02/2022 11:55

Nope

AllTheSunshine · 03/02/2022 11:58

Met mine at 56. When you know, you know. It's worth the wait.

funinthesun19 · 03/02/2022 11:59

I’m 32 and I hope I find him one day. We’re just going about our lives right now not knowing each other exist, but one day when the time is right we’ll find each other.

I’ve been through two bad relationships in my life up to now, so believe me, I’m not desperate for any old person at this point. But I do like to believe I’ll have a happy ending Grin.

Ozanj · 03/02/2022 12:05

It depends what you want really. If you want to hold out for the one, don’t mind if you have kids, then do it because waiting for the right person in this instance is the right thing to do. If you, however, want to have kids then it might be better to make do long enough to conceive & then ditch to become a single parent?

Oblomov22 · 03/02/2022 12:11

Have you had counselling? Really deeply considered why you keep making such bad decisions and how you are going to stop that from happening again?

Frollop · 03/02/2022 12:29

Have those in relationships found their partner online?

I'm not in a good place at the moment so am waiting to improve and maybe start OLD again. It's hard as I've lost confidence not that I had much and feel like I should accept being single but that makes me sad.

D0lphine · 03/02/2022 12:40

@Frollop

Have those in relationships found their partner online?

I'm not in a good place at the moment so am waiting to improve and maybe start OLD again. It's hard as I've lost confidence not that I had much and feel like I should accept being single but that makes me sad.

Yes I found my bf online. I feel like it's the best way these days as there are A LOT of men on dating sites. In fact statistically there are way more men on there then women which is a good thing. Of course there will be people who meet people randomly but if you want a wide selection of single men, online is the way to go.

But what I would say is dating can be hard work because of all the plonkers on there. Someone told me I had crap teeth for example hahahaha. Amazing comment (and not true!)

Maybe do some work on yourself first for 3 months then dive in? But don't expect to be perfect going into it- no one else is!

D0lphine · 03/02/2022 12:42

@Ozanj

It depends what you want really. If you want to hold out for the one, don’t mind if you have kids, then do it because waiting for the right person in this instance is the right thing to do. If you, however, want to have kids then it might be better to make do long enough to conceive & then ditch to become a single parent?
Make do until conceive is horrible advice!!!!!!!!!!

Jesus Christ! Aim higher!

If OPs main concern was conceiving another child there are many other ways of doing this alone.

Birdkin · 03/02/2022 12:43

My aunt and her husband have the loveliest relationship, he’s the nicest man in the world and they’re super in love.

She was a single mum to my cousin and didn’t meet her husband till they were in their fifties!

MarshaBradyo · 03/02/2022 12:49

I like the advice on this thread re dating etc

No not too late but don’t stop looking as pp said

VelvetChairGirl · 03/02/2022 12:50

@Scarlettfeather

I’ve had a series of bad relationships, including with the father of my child. He’s now 5 years old and I’m single. I want to find someone who is in love with me for who I am, who wants to be with me and wants to spend their life with me, for better or worse.

Is 35 too old to believe I’ll find that person? I don’t even know where to start Sad

I bloody hope not as I am 8 years older then you.

Oh where is my RDJ lookalike hiding?

Minikievs · 03/02/2022 12:59

I'm 43 and I've finally found the one (met him last year at 42) although like a previous poster I've had a couple of practice runs Wink
I do agree that it's unlikely he'll just "turn up" though. This does happen to some people, but in my experience, between work and two children, I didn't really go anywhere that I was likely to meet Prince Charming.
I met mine OLD. Had a couple of serious relationships from OLD and quite (a lot) a few dates. But it was worth it and now I'm happy as a pig in shit Smile

sanbeiji · 03/02/2022 13:03

Hey OP, it’s NEVER too late. However nobody can guarantee it. You’ll see lots and lots of posts from people who ‘have’ done it but selection bias.

Don’t hope too much for it as you’ll be destroyed if it doesn’t happen. Try online dating, everything, you’re likely to find someone but if not prepare to go it alone.

Good luck and godspeed.

Frollop · 03/02/2022 13:04

@D0lphine thanks for the advice.
I'm dreading going back online but I think that outlook could change when I'm in a better place.
That rude guy you mentioned obviously had issues... people can be nasty.
I'm going to try and learn from past mistakes hopefully and not rush into anything if I do meet someone.