Can’t afford holiday

[Dogmummy1980]

Me and DP have been talking about going away for a long weekend for a while now - just us, no kids - on a weekend where we wouldnt have the kids - vaguely committing to various locations in Europe as we have both travelled very little but we just hadn’t had time to decide.

We had also been intending on saving up to take the kids away next year - both respectively have 2 each - planning an expensive trip, splitting the cost between us.

Anyway - DP recently won some money, quite a decent sum, enough for him and myself to go on our long weekend away including spending money

Without even mentioning it to me - he announced to our 4 children that we would be going away in summer for 2 weeks, abroad, using the money we had literally decided that we would NOT be taking them abroad this year but would try for a UK break/camping so this was a surprise even to me!

For us to go away for 2 weeks the cost would be at least double what he won, maybe more, then there would be spending money on top. 2 weeks, 2 adults and 4 children I would imagine this would be fairly significant.

Now here’s the thing - I just can’t afford to pay half of the remainder of the holiday cost and half the spending money. I’m just about getting on my feet financially (paying off a large debt) and when he would be intending on us going away is just when I’d be about straight, we moved in together last year - long story short me moving in hasn’t been the reason I can pay debts off, I’ve bettered my job. I don’t want another few months of paying off additional debts.

Apparently I’m being really negative. So here’s the thing - AIBU??

@Pembertonrd

You’ll have to resell it as an even better holiday next year. Tell the kids to start planning for 2023. Much of the holiday excitement is in the preparation.

Absolutely. We’ve planned Florida for next year!! If we went on holiday this year it would be shit and impact on next year - just why???

I hope he will come round - hoping he will have a think and decide to put his money towards the holiday next year and it pays off a decent chunk

@Dogmummy1980 I don't understand the problem. Let him look for a holiday with that money and work it out for himself. No need to stress

OP
You sound sensible and all the kids aren't missing out. I think you need to show him how expensive holidays are. I have booked for this year and shocked at prices compared to when we last went pre covid.

I don’t get all the pearl clutching and gasping about the weekend. The OP is allowed a weekend away, presumably the kids will be with their other parents and she’s already said they’re going abroad with them anyway. The kids don’t need two foreign holidays. Why shouldn’t the OP have a holiday when the kids are having one? She’s already promised to take them next year and her kids are happy with it. The problem here is her BF and he needs to either find the money or break it to the kids that they’re not going/going somewhere cheaper.

If you can’t afford it; then you can’t afford it.

If you can save twelve grand in a year once you've stopped paying off four times your actual required payment, if you went to minimum payment for two months instead of one, you'd have money for a holiday this year and over ten grand for Florida in 2023, give or take a bit of interest.

Not saying you should - but it's not the case that you can't afford a share of a holiday cost this year, it's that you don't want to. Which is fine. But ten thousand pounds in spare cash is a shit tonne of money.

@NeverDropYourMooncup

If you can save twelve grand in a year once you've stopped paying off four times your actual required payment, if you went to minimum payment for two months instead of one, you'd have money for a holiday this year and over ten grand for Florida in 2023, give or take a bit of interest.

Not saying you should - but it's not the case that you can't afford a share of a holiday cost this year, it's that you don't want to. Which is fine. But ten thousand pounds in spare cash is a shit tonne of money.

Exactly this! I pay more than 4 times what my payment is. To put it into financial terms each month I pay between £1k -£1.2k per month. My payment right now is around £225.

So £600 for a weekend away with debts isn’t ridiculous - it’s just a bit of slack for one month.

To put it in a bit more context - I’m saving for holiday next year AND an investment property for me if things go wrong - I have my head screwed on!

But I do not appreciate someone stitching me up financially - my priorities are debts and savings - not an unplanned holiday. £600 compared to potentially a couple of grand is a huge difference