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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel murderous about being woken at 5am

62 replies

BlondeDogLady · 02/02/2022 08:35

I have to be up for work at 630am, 7 days a week.

I realised yesterday, that today, I was able to have a very rare lie in, until 745am. Yey!

I decided to treat myself last night, and have a few drinks that I had been gifted for Christmas. Miniature vodka and gin sets.

At 5am, my DH woke me up and started talking to me about the fact that I was snoring (I do snore when I've had a drink). He went on and on, and in the end I had to leave the bedroom for some peace - and I went to sleep in the spare room.

Once I am awake, I find it really hard to go back to sleep - he knows this.

When he got up for work at 630am, he came in to the spare room, and woke me again (I had just drifted back off).

Upshot was, that I was up for the day at my normal time, and I am seething!

Due to his shift pattern, he will get a lie in, this coming Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

My next possible lie in, is the 26th February.

AIBU to be royally pissed off? I am SO fucking tired. And I am so mad at him for this. I know it might seem petty, but I feel as though he has robbed me of the one morning I could have enjoyed a bit of extra time in bed.

OP posts:
YouPutTheScrewInTheTuna · 02/02/2022 08:39

Easy solution... wake him up, every day when you get up. Fairs fair and all that!

Bortles · 02/02/2022 08:41

Agree, he wont be getting a lie in for a few days!

Cosmosgrowinmygarden · 02/02/2022 08:41

This ⬆️

shouldistop · 02/02/2022 08:43

You were keeping him awake by snoring so I don't think it was unreasonable of him to point that out. If you knew you were going to snore then why didn't you just sleep in the spare room to start with?
I don't get why he came into the spare room to wake you at 6.30 though? That's unreasonable of him.

Hugasauras · 02/02/2022 08:44

Why didn't he just go into the spare room without having to wake you up? Confused What was the point in waking you up so you were both awake, when he could just have gone to spare room and gone back to sleep? I'd be annoyed for sure, although I also hate snoring and maybe wouldn't be reasonable about it at 5am either Grin

Notmenotme · 02/02/2022 08:44

Ltb

KatherineJaneway · 02/02/2022 08:45

@Bortles

Agree, he wont be getting a lie in for a few days!
Totally
Twitterwhooooo · 02/02/2022 08:45

I would be fuming too.

Next time, just take yourself off to sleep in the spare room from the get go with a large 'do not disturb' sign on the door.

You do need to tell him how utterly shit it was that he woke you at all. If your snoring is keeping him awake and you have a spare room, he needs to decamp. I say this as someone with a snoring partner, who I frequently need to move rooms from at night to get some sleep.

Hugasauras · 02/02/2022 08:45

And yes maybe in future just go in spare room from start if you're been drinking and you know that makes you snore. I wouldn't be able to sleep with someone snoring next to me so would be a bit ratty (but I'd just take myself to spare room the minute it started - I have no patience Grin)

Ponoka7 · 02/02/2022 08:47

Why did he come into the spare room? Would he have been ok with you sleeping in there all night, after having a drink?

Xiaoxiong · 02/02/2022 08:47

As a snorer myself I can just about see the need to shake you/roll you over if you were snoring at 5am but there is no need to talk about it at that time! I would probably say something like "I'm sorry I was snoring, I wasnt doing it on purpose - next time you have my full permission to poke me or roll me over but I can't have any rational conversation about it at 5am!" If you drink rarely and snore only after drinking maybe say that in future you will just sleep in the spare room to stop this happening again.

Coming into the spare room at 6.30am and waking you up is bad though - why did he do that? Was there something in there he desperately needed? Or was it just to wake you (which is spiteful.) Was he trying to be quiet?

T00Ts · 02/02/2022 08:48

Wake the selfish fucker up at 6am every single lie-in morning for him this week. Fight fire with fire. Get an air horn.

LookItsMeAgain · 02/02/2022 08:50

Why on earth, if he was the one being disturbed by your snoring, didn't he take himself off to the spare room to get the remaining amount of his sleep and leave you undisturbed????

Why is it always about the fucking men???

My own DH snores like a chainsaw and I know I snore too (hereditary and I'm overweight) but no where near as loudly as DH. I have taken to wearing an eye mask because he comes into the room using the light from his mobile phone and ear plugs, yet I was the one with bruises on my shins and legs from him kicking me while I slept.

Tell him if it's a nights sleep he wants, HE moves into the spare room.

Botherfreedays · 02/02/2022 08:52

Well you said that you knew you were going to snore. There is nothing worse than trying to sleep next to a snorer? You planned a nice evening, why didn’t you plan to be considerate and sleep on the spare room? YABU

Dancingsmile · 02/02/2022 08:52

If you know you're very likely to snore go in the spare room to sleep.
Fair enough he woke you at 5 but odd to wake you at 6.30.
Have a discussion to plan what happens on lie in days.

shouldistop · 02/02/2022 08:54

@LookItsMeAgain

Why on earth, if he was the one being disturbed by your snoring, didn't he take himself off to the spare room to get the remaining amount of his sleep and leave you undisturbed????

Why is it always about the fucking men???

My own DH snores like a chainsaw and I know I snore too (hereditary and I'm overweight) but no where near as loudly as DH. I have taken to wearing an eye mask because he comes into the room using the light from his mobile phone and ear plugs, yet I was the one with bruises on my shins and legs from him kicking me while I slept.

Tell him if it's a nights sleep he wants, HE moves into the spare room.

Why should the person who's being disturbed have to go into the spare room? Op knew she was going to snore, she should have gone into the spare room. It's nothing to do with the sex of the people involved.
MrsSkylerWhite · 02/02/2022 08:57

LookItsMeAgain

Why on earth, if he was the one being disturbed by your snoring, didn't he take himself off to the spare room to get the remaining amount of his sleep and leave you undisturbed????“

No, the snorer should go to the spare room, male or female.

Original poster
BlondeDogLady · 02/02/2022 09:01

Normally, when I drink, he is drinking too, so we fall asleep, both snore and it's not a problem, because we are both flaked out.

I honestly did not think about going in to the spare room - but if I drink alone again, I will do!

I just think he is so selfish for getting me up at that time. He knows that was my only option to lie in for weeks, (if you can call 745am a lie in), and I'm so fucked off that he has 6 mornings coming up where he will surface at 10am - 3.5 hours after me.

I do feel like waking him up on those days. I know it seems petty, but fuck me, I'm so fucking cross with him. He just kept talking at me at 5am, and swearing about my snoring.

He also berated me for falling asleep on the sofa. This is the first time in maybe a decade that I have done that, whereas he does it every single time he drinks, and I end up getting up at 3am to wake him, and turn off the TV because the neighbours complain.

OP posts:
Satingreenshutters · 02/02/2022 09:17

I have to say there is literally NOTHING more infuriating than snoring. It's soul destroying listening to someone bellow when you are trying to sleep and are up early for work. So initially you were the one that woke HIM up.
If you snore when you drink take yerself off to the spare room and that way everyone wins.

D0lphine · 02/02/2022 09:21

YABU for thinking "gift" is a verb.

LittleOwl153 · 02/02/2022 09:36

He was a prat for waking you at 630, and for keeping you awake at 5am - however I live with a snorer and I will wake him if its bad enough (though he does get a lie in 2 days each week)

You need to look at your working pattern - or the time you go to bed - as this level of sleep is clearly unsustainable!

billy1966 · 02/02/2022 09:37

What a horrible nasty man you have chosen to live with.

His waking you knowing it was your rare lie in tells you EXACTLY how little he thinks of you.

I would have a hard think about your relationship because from the sounds of it, it is awful.

Berating you for falling asleep on the sofa?

He sounds like a nasty bully.

As for being quiet around the house when he sleeps?
Forget it.

LittleOwl153 · 02/02/2022 09:37

Oh and get a timer to switch off the TV - and leave him there.

T00Ts · 02/02/2022 09:38

@D0lphine

YABU for thinking "gift" is a verb.
I also hate this recent use of ‘gifted’. I associate it with the faux gracious tripe posted by Insta ‘influencers’ saying they’ve been gifted some shite product they’re hawking to easily-led teenagers. However, grammatically it’s not incorrect. Annoyingly.
WorstXmasEver · 02/02/2022 09:39

I take it you don't have children at all...Mine wake me up every night for anything from a cuddle, juice or a nappy change.