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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel murderous about being woken at 5am

62 replies

BlondeDogLady · 02/02/2022 08:35

I have to be up for work at 630am, 7 days a week.

I realised yesterday, that today, I was able to have a very rare lie in, until 745am. Yey!

I decided to treat myself last night, and have a few drinks that I had been gifted for Christmas. Miniature vodka and gin sets.

At 5am, my DH woke me up and started talking to me about the fact that I was snoring (I do snore when I've had a drink). He went on and on, and in the end I had to leave the bedroom for some peace - and I went to sleep in the spare room.

Once I am awake, I find it really hard to go back to sleep - he knows this.

When he got up for work at 630am, he came in to the spare room, and woke me again (I had just drifted back off).

Upshot was, that I was up for the day at my normal time, and I am seething!

Due to his shift pattern, he will get a lie in, this coming Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

My next possible lie in, is the 26th February.

AIBU to be royally pissed off? I am SO fucking tired. And I am so mad at him for this. I know it might seem petty, but I feel as though he has robbed me of the one morning I could have enjoyed a bit of extra time in bed.

OP posts:
SartresSoul · 02/02/2022 09:39

In future sleep in the spare room when it’s your turn for a lie in so he can’t do this. Snoring is really annoying but I just give my DH a shove when he snores and keep shoving till he rolls over and stops, I wouldn’t wake him up completely and start arguing about it.

steppemum · 02/02/2022 09:45

you are both being a bit unreasonable I think.

You could have slept in spare room.
He shoudl have nudged you at 5am so you turned over and stopped snoring, or, knowing how precious the lie in is, he oculd have gone to the spare room.

But I think the two things that would really annoy me is that he went on and on at you at 5 am until he is awake, and then I woudl be FURIOUS that he woke me at 6:30 am.

I do think that people who regularly get enough sleep just do not understand how tired you are and how precious that lie in is. I remember when our dc were babies and I was ebf, dh didn't get it, and I had to really spell it out why he needed to wake, up, get up and take the baby after the 6 am feed and shut the door and keep toddler out, so I could get that precious saturday lie in, and not just let the baby wriggle in bed with both of us.

romany4 · 02/02/2022 09:51

Due to his shift pattern, he will get a lie in, this coming Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

Wake him up. Every day

LadyCluck · 02/02/2022 09:51

YANBU

I feel some excessive early morning vacuuming is in order from Saturday onwards.

Pembertonrd · 02/02/2022 09:52

Open the bedroom windows every morning. And pull the duvet off the bed.

LadyCluck · 02/02/2022 09:56

@Pembertonrd

Open the bedroom windows every morning. And pull the duvet off the bed.
Grin
JugglingJanuary · 02/02/2022 10:07

Due to his shift pattern, he will get a lie in, this coming Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

He may not need to go to work early, but he would not be getting a lie in any of those mornings!!

He was an arse to wake you up fully and go on & on about it.

Why did he come in the spare room at 6:30. I'll forgive him if his clothes are in there, but otherwise-just no.

I'd be 'far too tired' to do anything for him, that's for sure.

Original poster
BlondeDogLady · 02/02/2022 10:08

@D0lphine

YABU for thinking "gift" is a verb.
Jeezo, is that all you can say? Hmm
OP posts:
Original poster
BlondeDogLady · 02/02/2022 10:09

@WorstXmasEver

I take it you don't have children at all...Mine wake me up every night for anything from a cuddle, juice or a nappy change.
My children are 25 and 23, and have left home.
OP posts:
Original poster
BlondeDogLady · 02/02/2022 10:10

@SartresSoul

In future sleep in the spare room when it’s your turn for a lie in so he can’t do this. Snoring is really annoying but I just give my DH a shove when he snores and keep shoving till he rolls over and stops, I wouldn’t wake him up completely and start arguing about it.
I would have been fine with him rolling me over. He started a full blown conversation, was swearing at me, and wouldn't let me go back to sleep.
OP posts:
Useranon1 · 02/02/2022 10:11

What was the reason for waking you up the second time?

WildfirePonie · 02/02/2022 10:12

He also berated me for falling asleep on the sofa. This is the first time in maybe a decade that I have done that, whereas he does it every single time he drinks, and I end up getting up at 3am to wake him, and turn off the TV because the neighbours complain.

Yuk. Do you want to spend the rest of your days with this creature? What a Prince.

CheesyWeez · 02/02/2022 10:16

You are not being petty. We have a rule in our house, no one wakes anyone up ever. It's so rude!
(Well I would wake someone up if they were going to be late for school/college/work, of course).

As always on these threads, I'm going to say... go to bed earlier.
Staying up for a drink is not going to help you if you are already not getting enough sleep.

If you go to bed earlier will your DH come to bed quietly or would he wake you and start rambling on?

Prioritise your sleep for a few days and see how you feel better.

Your DH is totally out of order.
He should be looking at you and thinking "oh there's my lovely wife having a nice sleep. she works so hard" not " haha I'm going to wake her up"

Original poster
BlondeDogLady · 02/02/2022 10:16

@steppemum

you are both being a bit unreasonable I think.

You could have slept in spare room.
He shoudl have nudged you at 5am so you turned over and stopped snoring, or, knowing how precious the lie in is, he oculd have gone to the spare room.

But I think the two things that would really annoy me is that he went on and on at you at 5 am until he is awake, and then I woudl be FURIOUS that he woke me at 6:30 am.

I do think that people who regularly get enough sleep just do not understand how tired you are and how precious that lie in is. I remember when our dc were babies and I was ebf, dh didn't get it, and I had to really spell it out why he needed to wake, up, get up and take the baby after the 6 am feed and shut the door and keep toddler out, so I could get that precious saturday lie in, and not just let the baby wriggle in bed with both of us.

Honestly, if I drink again when he isn't drinking (rare), I will remember this and go in to the spare room!

I also remember the baby days. I didn't sleep through until the youngest was about 3, and I was up 10 times a night for years - their father refused to do any night wakings, so it all fell to me.

Now I'm 52, the children are grown, but I am self employed in a job that means I can hardly ever sleep in beyond 630am - all year! When the occasion comes up for me to lie in bed beyond that, it feels so special, which is why this morning has pissed me off so much. My next chance to lie in is the 26th February, then 19th March. RARE!

OP posts:
ImprobablePuffin · 02/02/2022 10:19

@D0lphine

YABU for thinking "gift" is a verb.
To gift IS a verb. What a snarky comment to make when you don't even know yourself
Original poster
BlondeDogLady · 02/02/2022 10:20

@Useranon1

What was the reason for waking you up the second time?
I have no idea! He popped his head around the door, which woke me up, then he started talking again. I just got up at that point, so I was sitting at the kitchen table at 60am, when I should have been in bed until 745/8am. He did no backing down. He has an assessment at work today, so I am the spawn of the devil for waking him.

Funny enough, on Friday he will drink and snore all night, with no thought about the fact that I have to be up at 6.30am on Saturday morning. I'm tempted to go on to Amazon and buy a Klaxon.

OP posts:
SoItWas · 02/02/2022 10:23

You don't have a snoring problem. You have a dh problem. He sounds selfish, inconsiderate and spiteful.

EezyOozy · 02/02/2022 10:24

Absolutely no sympathy for snorers here. If you snore: go and sleep in the spare room.

SoItWas · 02/02/2022 10:24

Your dh is clearly a hypocrite too, which is never an attractive trait.

leafcuttingwhale · 02/02/2022 10:26

Why on earth, if he was the one being disturbed by your snoring, didn't he take himself off to the spare room to get the remaining amount of his sleep and leave you undisturbed????
This

NYnewstart · 02/02/2022 10:28

I’d go ballistic at him

leafcuttingwhale · 02/02/2022 10:28

So you get one lie in a month and he woke you up?

That is really selfish.

steppemum · 02/02/2022 10:32

Funny enough, on Friday he will drink and snore all night, with no thought about the fact that I have to be up at 6.30am on Saturday morning. I'm tempted to go on to Amazon and buy a Klaxon.

wake him up, 6/7/8/25 times during the night if necessary.
then when you get up at 6:30, turn on light, open curtains, put on radio, pull back duvet etc etc

Booklover3 · 02/02/2022 10:32

You have a DH problem. If he couldn’t sleep because of your snoring then you’d think he would have the brains to go and get in the spare bed himself.

Cherrysoup · 02/02/2022 10:33

Sleep separately. He sounds like a selfish wanker-he did zero night wakings when the dc were babies? And woke you up AGAIN, even tho you’d swapped rooms? I’d go nuts. I swap rooms every night so as not to disturb my DH, if he came to wake me up I’d be so upset.

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