Wedding abroad - if you were a guest...

[sparklins]

what would you feel was the best option in this scenario?

Please let me preface this by saying I am not asking if you would or would not travel to this wedding - we already have a lot of people we know would like to.
This is more of an organization issue.

We are looking to get married in my home country (EU). The flight is less than 2 hours and takes you to a large city which has lots of touristy options including an old town, restaurants, huge beautiful zoo etc. about 50 mins from my small home town.

In our heart we would love to get married in the church my DPs and DGPs did, I am permanently settled in the UK so it would be lovely to get married in my home town.

Here is the but, in my home town there are only 1, maybe 2 ok(ish) hotel options the first being on the outskirts of town, apart from a lovely recently renovated park and one or two cafes there is nothing else to do and no transport links or anything as it is very small.
Guests would have very few things to do apart from attending the wedding itself - unless we organized things for them/kept them entertained which sounds like a logistical nightmare. However staying there would mean super quick transport to and from hotel to and from the wedding which has an after party on day 2.

If they stayed in the Center of the big city they fly into they would have lots of options and things to do and a chance to experience a bit of the country and also would have a bit more chance of being able to communicate as lots of city center places do their best to cater for English language - however if we got married in my home town it means a 1 hour coach (we would put this on) each way.

Guests from the UK are a mixed bunch some with young DCs, some elderly, some up for whatever and a bit more flexible as younger/single/childless.

As a guest what options would you like to have if traveling to a wedding like this?
And also if you were in similar circumstances what do you think would be the best option re the wedding itself? Keep it in your hometown or see if it can be closer to the big city?

A part of me thinks it should be my hometown as that is the whole point of getting married in my home country? But another is trying to be rational and practical.

@PragmaticWench

I'd have the church ceremony in your hometown, then have a coach take you and your guests back to the city for the reception and then day 2. Guests staying in the city, coach from the city in the morning to the church.

This.

@sparklins

Ooh let me add before any more replies come in - I also need to consider my DGGM who is of poor health (in her 80s) lives in my home town and struggles with travel.

this seals it for me really.

I would get married in home town.

Let the guests sort out if they prefer 2 days in your town, or make a longer break and visit the city.

We would probably hire a car, drive out to the wedding for example.
or stay the night of wedding in a local hotel and drive back to city at our own pace/timing. (or, knowing dh, take a detour to see more of the country on the way )

Also, as for carrying on festivities the day after, if that is what you were considering. Dh and I did a bit of a 'day after wedding afternoon drinks' at a local pub. This is because everyone who was attending came from quite a spread out area (and my friends and family travelled from my home country to the UK). We wanted to make the most of seeing them because we rarely have a chance to because of where we all live. Honestly, it was nice to have a chance to see them off, but I was absolutely shattered. I lost my voice! While I was glad I got to see them again and say goodbye before they flew home, it made for a long weekend. I probably could have just soaked in the bath in peace and been perfectly content and I expect our guests probably felt the same.

I would suggest guests stay in the city and put on a bus to the wedding in your hometown, you could always let them know the details of the hotels in your hometown if they would prefer to stay there.

I wouldn’t want to spend the days around my wedding organising activities for everyone if I was you. But if they’re making it a holiday they would probably prefer to do some sightseeing while they’re there which is why the city sounds like the better option

Friends of ours are marrying in rural France this year. We will stay local to the wedding for two nights then move onto other locations and turn it into our family holiday. I wouldn't overthink it.

The big city, unless you plan to pay for their accommodation and activities. If people are travelling abroad for your wedding (especially with kids) I think it needs to be somewhere they can make a holiday of it not be restricted to a small town with a park and no taxi service.

I wouldn’t attend a wedding abroad if I had to take my DC on a 1 hour coach journey to and from the airport to venue, and if there wasn’t much to do in the small town or lack of choice over accommodation.

Why not get married privately in your home town with just your close family, then have the reception and after party in the city?

I would have the wedding and reception in your home town with coach taking people back to the city the next day late morning( and possibly transport laid on to the local hotel if it's on the outskirts).
If you're planning on a next day party as well, could that be held in the city ?

@rookiemere the after party is usually part of the wedding package and is always laid on by the same venue as per tradition, its lots of food and drink provided by B&G and there's also dancing/celebration. It's not really something we would be able to do at another venue without incurring large costs.
Although we are also considering not having an after party if it ends up being easier.

I think if you could keep all of it on the same day in your village , then it would be easier for attendees. Maybe make the next day afterparty optional so that visitors are able to spend time in the city as well, or another idea, is there any way that the Day 2 party can be made into a brunch type thing so people can go back to city in the afternoon?

If it's not possible I wouldn't stress. People are over for your wedding not sightseeing and sometimes it's really nice to explore the non touristy parts of a country.

sparklins can you explain more about the after party on day 2? I know you've said its food, drink, dancing paid for by bride and groom, but is it just in the evening or all day? What do guests usually do that day?

Essentially it sounds like what UK guests would see as a reception traditionally held straight after the wedding or at least on the same day in all the countries of the UK (and tbh other EU countries - I live in the EU but an after party on a separate day isn't a tradition in my adopted country either…).

When travelling to a wedding its bad enough having to hang around when the bridge and groom decide to have a late morning or lunch time ceremony and then the reception doesn't start until hours later. Having it the next day in a town which only has a park to go to would take the shine off the after party for people who don't know what to do with themselves if at a loose end, especially those without a hire car. Providing a coach is really thoughtful except that it will unintentionally leave people stranded.

I would rather stay in a hotel in your home town. It’s not a destination wedding, it’s a home town wedding that happens to be in another country. I don’t need activities to keep me busy. The wedding is plenty for a couple of days.

If I were attending, there is a good chance I would add a few days to my trip and spend some time in a more tourist-friendly area either before or after the wedding.

My culture also has an after party tradition. It’s fantastic. Ours starts late morning. People ease out of bed and meet up again for food and a more casual affair. Not everyone attends as some people have to hurry home, but lots of people do.

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme the afterparty is more casual than the wedding itself. It usually starts around 1-2pm so guests can roll out of bed whenever and the ones that have to can recover a bit from the night before and its as mentioned lots of food, drink, dancing and a chance to catch up a bit more rather than being caught up in the festivities of the wedding day itself. It usually wraps up around 7pm and not everyone can always stay for it but the majority do.

In terms of the wedding day itself I think I mentioned already the way it runs, it's usually a church service just under an hour long, this can start anytime between 12-2 depending on the churches availability. From there it's straight to the venue where you are welcomed with a glass of fizz and everyone generally has a quick moment with the bride and groom as they enter and they pass on their wishes/flowers/cards - all this under an hour and then it's straight into the dinner (lots of platters with LOTS of food) and the first dance once the main courses are done which then starts off everyone dancing and carrying the party with even more food and snacks arriving throughout the evening so hopefully not much hanging around to be done.

I would be upfront with the guests you invite. Explain just what you have said here. That you would happily provide coaches for those who prefer a hotel in the city , but give info about the local hotels too. Some people prefer the authentic experience of your country and would likely be willing to hire/share transport while they are there. Give a cut off date for those who wish to take the city/coach . You sound like such a considerate person and I love that you are planning for your GGm to be there. I hope your wedding goes smoothly and you enjoy a long and happy marriage

Assume depends how long people stay abroad