To frequently change my MN user name?

[CrymeaRvr]

I change my MN on a fairly frequent basis. 1) to prevent anyone knowing who I am when I put on personal stuff so I worry being able to search for my posts would make me identifiable IRL which would out me off asking for advice around relationships etc.

1. I’m in the feminism board a bit and have experienced the nastiness that is a pile-on when my opinions on some subjects, particularly LGBTQ+ stuff, differs from the majority.

A good friend reckons that it’s unreasonable of me, and if I’m going to put out my opinions then I should be able to stand by them regardless of consequences and/or people piling on. She has the one name that she’s had forever and people apparently ‘know’ her on MN.
She keeps banging on about it. So, AIBU to change my name when I feel it’s necessary???

I should add that our opinions often differ on LGBTQ+ topics, and I do feel that it’s more that she thinks I’m ‘wrong’ a lot of the time that’s motivating her to call me cowardly than any actual real concerns about users changing their user names.

Meh, I have dozens on MN names because I'm a serial oversharer.

Same Mundra! I also hate when someone goes off to find someone’s old posts and starts chucking them at them on a new post and accusing them of inconsistency or lying or whatever…

Nope, you're doing the smart thing. I've been using this one for ages and have been meaning to change it for nearly as long.

It’s totally normal on here.

I had one name for YEARS and I liked being 'me'. When MN wasn't so huge we did all 'know' each other & I still see a lot of the 'old gang' and I know many more are still here under new names. However, when MN had a couple of data breaches and there were a few threads where people were offering to show people how easy it was to gather a lot of data about them on here, I started name changing. I don't really like it & miss being 'me', but it feels like the sensible thing to do these days, sadly.

I'm sure there are lots of lovely new posters, but I really do miss how MN used to be, it was totally different.

So, no, YANBU. Once upon a very long time ago I'd have agreed with your friend, but not these days, especially since failed journalists have decided that MN threads save them having to actually think for themselves!

I think it’s totally fine. I barely notice usernames and I don’t think I can look people up and see their other posts (maybe I can, but I never do). If it gives you the sense of anonymity that you need to share openly then do it!

There are two posters that I notice on threads, only because they really irritate me, every time! But thst doesn’t mean I start an argument with them. It’s not what they say, it’s the way they say it that irritates me.

I was hoping/assuming I was the norm rather than the exception! Though I am on one thread, left it for a day, changed my name as I do and discover that under my old name I’m being called all sorts for not engaging and just buggering off! Which I haven’t, just a new name. I regret that a bit but maybe it’s for the best as I don’t want to get into an online slanging match with anyone!

You’d be very unreasonable to never name change

I can’t believe how much personal info people share on here, once you have an idea of someone’s age / location / kids names / occupation it gives a very round picture and you’d be clearly identifiable to someone that knows you

That said, on those “which posters do you miss” threads, my old username is sometimes mentioned and I want to say “that’s me!” but I don’t, obviously

Same Mundra! I also hate when someone goes off to find someone’s old posts and starts chucking them at them on a new post and accusing them of inconsistency or lying or whatever…

This is the reason I went from having the same name for years to name changing weekly.

People don't realise that you can tell the truth while changing a few small unimportant details to remain as anonymous as possible.

Yeah I used to have a name everyone would know but a combination of a few things (exH, data breaches) prompted me to have everything deleted and now I NC every few weeks/months depending on how much I’ve posted and how much I’ve overshared.

I’m pretty good at spotting people I know under a name change which probably means I’m recognisable too but hey ho.

I change my username frequently because I noticed a couple of years ago that if you googled certain things I'd said, you'd be able to find me within the first few hits.

‘People don't realise that you can tell the truth while changing a few small unimportant details to remain as anonymous as possible.’

Yup! I have done that with little things like ages or gender of kids, nothing that makes the post confusing or affects the opinions I’ll get but enough to not have Margaret from accounts thinking- ooh, I bet that’s Crymea…
Margaret from accts lives to try to find people in MN that she thinks she might know. And obviously her name isn’t actually Margaret and she’s not in the accts dept but you get the gist!

Your friend can bog off. She uses MN one way, perfectly reasonably. You use it another way, also perfectly reasonably.

Loads of us are serial name changes. I've been her nearly 14 years and I've had probably the best part of 100 names.

I really don't want to be identified, so I make sure I'm not. It's perfectly legit, especially as the site is so big now.

How do you name change?

I change whenever posting about something new in my life. My life has so many unique and shit show qualities that if someone searched my history username and read everything, they would immediately accuse me of lying! People don’t get that people have lots of shit happen to them.

Having the same username is seen as some weird badge of honour. Although I get that one day there will be a bug, my usernames will be merged, some family member will see me complain about them along with my other identifiable information and MN will have destroyed families across the country!

@fhis

Same Mundra! I also hate when someone goes off to find someone’s old posts and starts chucking them at them on a new post and accusing them of inconsistency or lying or whatever…

This is the reason I went from having the same name for years to name changing weekly.

People don't realise that you can tell the truth while changing a few small unimportant details to remain as anonymous as possible.

Absolutely! To changing the ages of children/gender/my age etc if it doesn’t affect the advice I’m asking or giving/replying too.

My opinions also have changed on some things over time… so I’d hate for someone to be looking stuff up and accusing me of hypocrisy or whatever on some subjects when actually life experience or even debating with people on here has made me look at something a different way and re-assess

Nope I change my name weekly. I must have had hundreds. If you want a 'presence' here then I can see why you'd keep the same name but I use this forum for highly personal advice sometimes and I wouldn't want to be recognised. I think it's a really useful tool although it does give people the freedom to be absolute arseholes at times.

@PasswordEarth

I change whenever posting about something new in my life. My life has so many unique and shit show qualities that if someone searched my history username and read everything, they would immediately accuse me of lying! People don’t get that people have lots of shit happen to them.

Having the same username is seen as some weird badge of honour. Although I get that one day there will be a bug, my usernames will be merged, some family member will see me complain about them along with my other identifiable information and MN will have destroyed families across the country!

Yes, I reckon this will happen one day, too.

I have different names for specific boards, as well as about six that I use interchangeablely on Chat and AIBU. Until MN disable the advanced search facility, I think it's a wise thing to do.

I change a lot as well.

Given that there can be serious negative consequences if you make it known that, for example, you don't agree that trans women are women, I think it is understandable to want to maintain your anonymity.

Being willing to stand by your opinion is one thing, being willing to experience harassment or even get fired because of it is quite another thing.

I change my name roughly weekly, because I don’t want the faff of changing little details in my circumstances. The forum allows it, so I’m not sure why anyone would consider you unreasonable.

I change all the time. However it always amuses me that posters say they name change so they aren’t identified… many posters live outside England so they are not going to be able to identify someone based on the poster’s neighbour’s parking skills or their adorable three year old triplets with names all beginning with S.