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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To the MN wine lovers

59 replies

velvet24 · 31/01/2022 08:21

Do you drink wine every evening or have a binge now and again? I have 1 glass every evening and maybe a few more over the weekend. I love my evening glass and don't feel the urge to keep going, something good on tv, or a hot bath and my glass and Im happy. Maybe its a bit of a routine now, i start looking forward to it from 7pm.

The other day i treated myself to a mini red bottle and had half a glass, put the rest in my bag as it was next to where i was working at home that evening, dh saw it in there and now thinks i have a problem. However, where i have a glass in the evening, he binges about twice a week, has so much he is wiped out the next day, so who is worse?

Anyway i am not ashamed to admit i love my wine and as a busy mum, i need that nightly glass.

Thoughts from fellow wine lovers ?(I'm sure someone will come on here and say I'm an alcoholic, this is MN)

OP posts:
TheDuchessOfMN · 31/01/2022 08:29

I think the guidelines are 14 units a week, with one or two alcohol free nights. So yes you’re probably overindulging just a little, but not excessively so (happy to be corrected)!

I think the trouble is the habit that that’s creating, the dependency.. you even said so yourself “I need that nightly glass”. You can get into trouble very quickly when one glass isn’t enough. So I would say, be careful

LiterallyKnowsBest · 31/01/2022 08:30

Don’t waste money on mini bottles! The quality of the wine is generally poor.

I love wine - but generally stick to weekends and also avoid drinking if I’m going to be zooming in the following days. (Really dries out my skin in an unflattering way.)

As I’ve grown older I drink less but very much better quality wine - and thankfully I’m not answerable to anyone else regarding my drinking habits!

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 31/01/2022 08:32

I only really drink wine on Friday and/or Saturday. I really, really enjoy the taste and it goes down so easily. Obviously mid week celebrations and/or holidays don't count!

IMONTHETOILET · 31/01/2022 08:32

I have a glass of something most evenings. Like you I love a glass in the evening. It's my wind down time and I never feel the urge to have more than one during the week. At the weekend I will usually have two. I could easily stop and not drink, I have done so in the past but I genuinely love my evening glass of wine or whatever spirit I'm favouring at the time in the evening.

A binge is much worse in my mind.

Original poster
velvet24 · 31/01/2022 08:34

@TheDuchessOfMN

I think the guidelines are 14 units a week, with one or two alcohol free nights. So yes you’re probably overindulging just a little, but not excessively so (happy to be corrected)!

I think the trouble is the habit that that’s creating, the dependency.. you even said so yourself “I need that nightly glass”. You can get into trouble very quickly when one glass isn’t enough. So I would say, be careful

Hi I get that but this has been me for many years so I don't think I;d get into trouble now! I did have a wine free evening last week and planning to do that one night a week. I do however think the 14 units is as made up as the 5 fruit a day lol
OP posts:
MooSakah · 31/01/2022 08:53

as a busy mum, i need that nightly glass. you don't though. Loads of busy mums don't drink wine every night. I'd see if you can cut down personally. Most people I know just have a glass of wine or two at the weekend.

Original poster
velvet24 · 31/01/2022 08:57

Im looking for fellow MN wine lovers not critiscm

OP posts:
sittingonacornflake · 31/01/2022 08:58

I think if you could sort 2 wine free days a week you've got yourself a healthy wine habit

MooSakah · 31/01/2022 09:04

@velvet24

Im looking for fellow MN wine lovers not critiscm
The two are not exclusive. You can love wine but also think you could do with cutting down a bit.
MissyB1 · 31/01/2022 09:07

I do love it (absolutely!) but I decided to kick the every night habit. Started by having 2 alcohol free nights and now only drink at weekends.
How old are you? Sorry that’s nosey, but I found as I got older I couldn’t tolerate nightly drinking so well anymore. I’m in my 50s now and even one glass of wine can disrupt my sleep, hence weekends only.

theqentity · 31/01/2022 09:09

You don't need wine. I've never bothered with the stuff and I manage. The fact that you think you need it is the most worrying thing.

rubyslippers · 31/01/2022 09:10

I love wine but recognise habitual/daily drinking isn’t great
A night or two off a week is good for you

MooSakah · 31/01/2022 09:10

Binging so much you can't function the next day is worse I'd say. But being reliant and needing wine isn't great either

Original poster
velvet24 · 31/01/2022 09:11

I dont think relying on it as have had wine free nights & sometimes if no wine in the fridge I cant be bothered to go to the shop so have a cup of tea :)

OP posts:
CounsellorTroi · 31/01/2022 09:11

We share a bottle midweek and another on Saturday nights.

WhyYesYABU · 31/01/2022 09:12

I love wine but I stick to a couple of glasses on Friday or Saturday. We have very small children so DH and I take it in turns to drink so one of us is always competent sober in case of an emergency.

If out with friends I can easily tuck away a bottle but that's a rare occurrence these days.

Letsrunabath · 31/01/2022 09:14

Believe me, your drinking will escalate over the years. Stop now while you can.

IMONTHETOILET · 31/01/2022 09:15

@theqentity It sounds like you don't actually like wine so you won't understand the enjoyment people take from having a glass of wine in the evening. For me I love the taste, the smell and the ritual of it. It's the same way a people some people love tea and have a cup to relax.

Pleasefeedcarbs · 31/01/2022 09:16

We love wine and as we’ve gotten older the bottles have gotten more expensive to reflect how much we love it - but the frequency we drink it hasn’t increased. Both you and your DH sound like you have a bad attitude - one binges and one ‘needs’ a nightly glass of wine. We don’t drink Mid week - we share a bottle with a nice meal on a Saturday night. If it’s a bank holiday weekend we could have one Sat & Sunday. If we’re on holiday one a night at dinner. But in normal life it’s one bottle between two on the weekend.

Dammitthisisshit · 31/01/2022 09:17

I guess you’re over the 14 units a week recommended amount as a 150 ml glass is about 2 units. So neither you or your husband are right! So neither should really be picking at what each other do… To say in your OP you ‘need’ wine doesn’t sound like the healthiest relationship- but I don’t mean that as judgy as it sounds - I have certainly binged way too much in the past so I’m in no place to throw stones.

I enjoy wine (or did- not had one since October due to medical treatment). But for me the best wine was the Friday night ‘finished work and on the wind down wine’. And I only got that feeling if I hadn’t had a glass for a while - at least since the week before and the best was if I’d not had any for a couple of weeks or more (this wasn’t usually the case unfortunately). So I’m curious if you actually ‘feel’ that nightly wine or if it’s just habit.

One thing I found interesting is that I did a heart rate variability lifestyle assessment a while ago and it showed that a couple of glasses of wine would really affect my sleep pattern. I didn’t go into deep sleep until much much later on at night. You feel like you’re sleeping but it’s not the same quality if sleep. So I’m also wondering how you sleep!

R3ALLY · 31/01/2022 09:22

I love wine so no judgement here but I don’t think every night is a great idea I’m afraid. For me even one glass interferes with sleep (am late 40s). I drink 1.5 bottle over Friday / Saturday night which I know isn’t healthy either! But it works for me

PurpleDaisies · 31/01/2022 09:23

@Letsrunabath

Believe me, your drinking will escalate over the years. Stop now while you can.
The op doesn’t need to totally stop.

I agree with others that the “I’m a busy mum so I need wine every night” mindset is a dangerous place to be. I would cut down to not drinking for a few nights a week and making sure I was sticking to the guidelines without being super strict about it. The husband’s drinking pattern is unhealthy too.

I usually have a couple of glasses over a week (mainly on a Friday and Saturday) depending on what we’re doing for socialising.

Original poster
velvet24 · 31/01/2022 09:24

@Letsrunabath

Believe me, your drinking will escalate over the years. Stop now while you can.
No chance i am not stopping and it has never escalated , but I have done some wine free nights (remember I have just 1 glass) and that's fine , will make it a weekly thing, 1 free night .
OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 31/01/2022 09:28

remember I have just 1 glass

How big is your glass though? Or probably a better question-how many bottles do you drink in a week?

I think a lot of women aren’t aware of the link between alcohol and breast cancer. That might be worth reading about if you’re looking for motivation for staying sober on your wine free days.

WheekestLink · 31/01/2022 09:32

Sorry, just so I'm understanding - you want advice about your drinking levels (which are over and above the recommended limits, which by the way are incorrect as no level of alcohol consumption above 0 units is "safe"), but only from people who also drink wine, thereby affirming your own belief that you're "okay"?

No matter what you say about one glass a night, it escalates. It has to or the alcohol does not have the same effect on you.

I'm also a busy parent with a full time job but I do exercise when I'm feeling stressed.

Alcohol does not de-stress you after the initial 'buzz', it just doesn't. That is a scientific fact - once the chemically induced dopamine rush is gone, you are left with ever increasing anxiety.