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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To the MN wine lovers

59 replies

velvet24 · 31/01/2022 08:21

Do you drink wine every evening or have a binge now and again? I have 1 glass every evening and maybe a few more over the weekend. I love my evening glass and don't feel the urge to keep going, something good on tv, or a hot bath and my glass and Im happy. Maybe its a bit of a routine now, i start looking forward to it from 7pm.

The other day i treated myself to a mini red bottle and had half a glass, put the rest in my bag as it was next to where i was working at home that evening, dh saw it in there and now thinks i have a problem. However, where i have a glass in the evening, he binges about twice a week, has so much he is wiped out the next day, so who is worse?

Anyway i am not ashamed to admit i love my wine and as a busy mum, i need that nightly glass.

Thoughts from fellow wine lovers ?(I'm sure someone will come on here and say I'm an alcoholic, this is MN)

OP posts:
Verite1 · 31/01/2022 09:33

I love wine, but I think the “need” is the dangerous aspect of it. If I ever feel I “need” wine or am craving it, I stop drinking for a while to allow my body to reset. I think you should drink because you enjoy it, not because you need it.
Currently, I drink Friday-Sunday and try and keep Mon-Thursday alcohol free. It’s not clear how many units you drink - 1 glass can be anywhere between 125 and 250 mls! If I were you, I would at least try and have two alcohol free days a week. It’s just much better for your body and will reduce your overall alcohol intake.

Pleasefeedcarbs · 31/01/2022 09:36

@velvet24 I’d make it 2 wine free nights. Also think your attitude of no way am I stopping is a bit odd if you’re so unattached to wine? Although you do say you’re a mum so I presume you didn’t touch it during all your pregnancies so you have gone without it for long periods before.

Shuffletime · 31/01/2022 09:38

I love wine. Especially a good red.

Yes, you're drinking too much on a regular basis. Yes, your DH is drinking too much with his binges.

What exactly are you hoping to get from this thread?

R3ALLY · 31/01/2022 09:39

Might depend on the age of your kids too? I’m now at the stage where they need lifts somewhere every night of the week practically so no drinking even if I wanted to. I presume there will be teen years of lifts at the weekends too so hello tea

LittleGwyneth · 31/01/2022 10:00

I disagree that you 'need' wine because you're a busy mum. Any job which makes you need to drink in the evenings to recover is not a job that you're flourishing in. If that's the case you need more support, not wine.

All of that said, I think your drinking sounds normal and pretty well controlled and I wouldn't be worried about it. Mumsnet is famously parsimonious about alcohol, and the consensus seems to be that anyone who drinks most days for enjoyment is going to end up living under a bridge.

I find that periodically taking a few days/weeks off the sauce is a good way to check that I'm totally able to go without.

Original poster
velvet24 · 31/01/2022 10:05

Thanks its normal and controlled i think too, I was posting this thread to get other MN wine lovers to post to see what others do. However, I am going to have 1 free night a week escalating that to 2 anyway as prob a good idea. Cheers !

OP posts:
PeeAche · 31/01/2022 10:10

No judgement here!

I'm pregnant at the moment so tee total but when I'm not, I drink half a bottle of wine every other night. Units-wise, you and I are probably on a par.

My husband and I could drink every night and get absolutely sozzled. Like you, we both really want to have a daily. Unlike you, once the bottle is open we finish it.

So we have a rule: only every other night.

We don't have to drink, we just enjoy it. We have a wine society membership and we both love to cook. So it all sort of ties in together. Just thinking now about sipping on old world Chardonnay in the sunshine while I tuck into crab... 😍 🤤

I still drink too much. You drink too much. Your husband also drinks too much.

Who is worse? I don't know. Your GP would say he is, for "binging". But there is no right way to drink a lot of wine and you'd both get told off.

OP, after I've had the baby, you and I should go out and do a wine "tasting" 😅

SnotRags · 31/01/2022 10:12

Sad how so many people love to poison themselves.

PurpleDaisies · 31/01/2022 10:13

I don’t think going by what’s “normal” is a very good way to decide if you’re drinking too much.

Original poster
velvet24 · 31/01/2022 10:15

@PeeAche

No judgement here!

I'm pregnant at the moment so tee total but when I'm not, I drink half a bottle of wine every other night. Units-wise, you and I are probably on a par.

My husband and I could drink every night and get absolutely sozzled. Like you, we both really want to have a daily. Unlike you, once the bottle is open we finish it.

So we have a rule: only every other night.

We don't have to drink, we just enjoy it. We have a wine society membership and we both love to cook. So it all sort of ties in together. Just thinking now about sipping on old world Chardonnay in the sunshine while I tuck into crab... 😍 🤤

I still drink too much. You drink too much. Your husband also drinks too much.

Who is worse? I don't know. Your GP would say he is, for "binging". But there is no right way to drink a lot of wine and you'd both get told off.

OP, after I've had the baby, you and I should go out and do a wine "tasting" 😅

I have found my wine buddy!
OP posts:
Original poster
velvet24 · 31/01/2022 10:15

@SnotRags

Sad how so many people love to poison themselves.
Oh dear i knew someone would come out with this!
OP posts:
SnotRags · 31/01/2022 10:16

People that “Need” wine are alcoholics. Nobody “needs” wine

Pleasefeedcarbs · 31/01/2022 10:16

@velvet24 hmmm so your wine buddy is someone who really wants to have wine everyday and who has to finish a bottle once it’s opened…

Original poster
velvet24 · 31/01/2022 10:18

[quote Pleasefeedcarbs]@velvet24 hmmm so your wine buddy is someone who really wants to have wine everyday and who has to finish a bottle once it’s opened…[/quote]
It was a light hearted comment, some people are extremely uptight here....

OP posts:
SnotRags · 31/01/2022 10:19

Maybe some of us have seen the damage alcohol can do. Can’t stand hearing people say they “need” wine. I don’t care how busy or stressed you are, “needing wine” is ridiculous

LilOnline · 31/01/2022 10:20

OP you say "I have 1 glass every evening and maybe a few more over the weekend".

Assuming "a few more" is only 2 glasses a night on the weekend I think it sounds fine, especially if you also have a day off. I mean the Italians have a glass a night. How many units of alcohol in total are you drinking in a week.

The mini bottles are only 187ml and if thats what you're having on the weeknights I'd hardly call that overdoing it.

I love wine - I do limit to a couple of nights a week only because I like to have 200ml-250ml at a time.

lololololollll · 31/01/2022 10:20

I do both 😂

Whelmed · 31/01/2022 10:21

I think that's all fine, like having a glass of wine with dinner.

Worldgonecrazy · 31/01/2022 10:32

I am a wine lover, and I drink to enjoy the wine, not the alcohol.

We drink one bottle of good quality wine over the weekend and that’s it.

I would rather spend money and buy one bottle of great £20 wine than five bottles of mediocre stuff. Aldi and Lidl do some really great sub £20 wines too.

Excessive drinking is a major cause of cancers and heart disease, so if I go in to consume alcohol I would rather make it something special than an every day ‘treat’.

MintyGreenDream · 31/01/2022 10:34

I have a bottle on a Friday night

Wandawide · 31/01/2022 11:07

We were drinking quite a lot, DH has had jobs with a full on drinking culture, pub NOT in office hours. Think City and investment types.
We do not keep spirits in the house and buy better wine and have 2 or 3 AFD a week Mon Tues prob Thurs.
Wine tastings, Sunday Times Wine club and Majestic. Read the wine column in Sat Daily Mail Mathew Jukes. We have become better informed. Great Fun
ps I am in charge, I have better palette than DH.
AFD = Alcohol Free days

TheVolturi · 31/01/2022 11:16

You can't post in Aibu and say we can only agree with you 🙄. However I think it's fine. Unless of course, if for some reason you had no availabile wine one evening, and it was a huge problem.

MrsGHarrison87 · 31/01/2022 11:19

I drink between half a bottle to a full bottle most Saturday nights and have the odd glass throughout the week, but some weeks won't have any.

AiryFairy1 · 31/01/2022 11:27

We share a bottle on Thursdays and maybe 1.5 bottles on the Friday - really enjoy it, any more per week and I don’t feel great, disturbed sleep etc.
As an aside, has anyone watched on Netflix, Kristen Bell in The woman in the window across the road to the girl (some such ridiculous long title) - she does have a wine problem (& other problems) but we were admiring her gigantic wine glasses - she can fit an entire bottle in one, slurping the top so it doesn’t overflow Grin

disco82 · 31/01/2022 11:44

I only drink fri-sun, unless there's a social occasion during the week. And never when I'm alone. Normally 4 days a week with no alcohol at all. I do only drink wine and gin but never binge when drinking at home. Only binge when out and about with folks.