Visiting smokers house with baby

[xcdrx]

Hi all,
My baby is 7 weeks old and i made it clear in pregnancy onwards that i did not want baby going to my partners relatives house who smokes 20+ cigs a day in their home.
I am now the worst person in the world!!

Another family member has made me feel 2cm tall by spouting off her opinion that cig smoke never hurt her or her children so why shouldn't i take my baby to this certain house?

As an adult i cant stand the smell in my hair or in my clothes so why should i let my baby smell of it and breath it in?

Am i been over the top? I feel so low about this i just want to do my best x

YADNBU.

Second hand smoke majorly linked with SIDS.

You are protecting your baby keep doing so. If they continue to be so ignorant of this I'd be going NC.

Well done OP for standing your ground.

Stick to your guns and don't go. Also, if you receive any gifts from a smoking house leave them in a shed or garage for a few days if you can before bringing them into the house, they absolutely reek.

Well done. This is one of the hardest tests of mummyhood I found. Standing firm with what you believe is right for your child.

I remember seeing this a while ago and thinking it was quite effective. Maybe you can show it to your relative/those family members who think you're being OTT.

www.nhsinform.scot/campaigns/take-it-right-outside
(scroll down to about the middle of the page for the video)

YANBU, btw. People often love to try and make parents feel they're being over-anxious when they don't do what they want them to. See this as practice for years of standing up for your own sensible and sound decisions.

Amazed that anyone thinks it’s OK to smoke around a baby. You’re definitely not being unreasonable - I wouldn’t go either.

I'd say they are welcome to come to you (but wash hands before touching baby) and if they want baby to visit they could stop smoking indoors at their house. I'm an ex smoker and have no issue with smokers but no way would my children go to a house where people smoke.

Stand firm and keep your baby away.

You’re right. Explain the midwife had told you not to if it helps to have it from a ‘professional’, and say you’ll be happy to see this relative outside or in a house where nobody is smoking indoors.

Stand your ground

Smoking is absolutely rank so why people think it’s ok to bring that around a baby I have no idea. YANBU x

It's your right to smoke if you want to. It's my right to protect my child.
Repeat a

As necessary

You are 100% in the right to not want your baby in that house. I wouldn't be taking my 9 month old there that's for sure! To be honest I wouldn't want to be in there myself, it would absolutely stink. 🤢 Stick to your guns!

I had exactly the same OP 20 odd ago with mine. My parents pretended to give up (honestly, smokers stink, you can't hide it) and my in laws tried to make me feel like I was over the top. I stood my ground, I didn't take my babies to smoky houses.

I wouldn't want to go there without a baby let alone with

Absolutely disgusting vile thing to do smoking in the house. How hard is it to go outside. Lazy

Your NBU.
Send them this: raisingchildren.net.au/babies/health-daily-care/health-concerns/second-hand-smoke

Definitely stick to your guns OP. I wouldn’t take a child of any age to a smoky house let alone a baby.

Oh and the old “I used to do X and my kids are fine” line will get trotted out on a regular basis. My stock answer to this is, “Yes and 150 years ago people were telling each other it was “fine” to shove children up chimneys but I think we can all agree now that’s a bad idea”.

I wouldn’t go to a smokers house let alone take a baby.

Good for you, op.

I would absolutely not take a baby there, I don’t even let my 9 year olds visit a relative who smokes indoors. Dh visited this relative yesterday for a couple of hours and he came back reeking of smoke and had to wash all his clothes.

I remember saying this to my MIL when my son was tiny. She'd agree to stop during visits or go outside but we'd come down in the morning and realised she'd had several before we woke up. Very tricky.

YANBU!! I refused to go in my parents house when my 16yo was born as my dad smoked indoors even when he said he wouldn't when I was actually there, it still stank and I'm and ex smoker !!!

I smoke and I wouldn't blame you for not coming over if we did it in the house (we don't!). Why on earth would any parent, stick to your guns, tell them you don't care what they think, your baby, your rules, end of!

It's really tricky though. My partner has an elderly family member who does smoke inside, though never when we're there. I don't really want to take a baby into that house. But she's a very valued member of the family, adored by everyone, and she's old. So it's not as easy as people sometimes make out on here.

I'm usually very good at setting boundaries but I do wonder on this point whether 20 minutes in a house where someone has previously smoked a cigarette is worse than hurting someone's feelings / not allowing her to see the baby. (She doesn't leave the house much).

Very well done @xcdrx, stick to you're guns. YOU ARE RIGHT!