Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sever joint tenancy even though DH doesn't agree??

92 replies

FigOPig · 30/01/2022 20:34

My husband and I own our house, both on the deeds.

When we bought it we naively didn't really talk much about what would happen on death, we didn't even have a will, and we proceeded as joint tenants without really giving much thought as to what it would mean.

Anyway, fast forward to now and we have a son together. My husband also has two older children from his ex.

I've been thinking more and more about this lately and I would like to change to tenants in common so I can ensure my 50% of the house goes to DS. It is likely to be the only thing of real substance we have to leave the children as we don't have huge amounts of assets.

I would like to do our wills so that whoever is left has life time occupancy of the property but it's then split 50% to DS and DHs half to whoever he wishes (obviously likely to be the children).

DH doesn't agree and wants to keep as joint tenants so the house passes wholly to whoever is left. It would then leave that person free to give it to whoever they wish in their will. In theory if it were me, I could not give DSC anything at all or if it were DH, he could split it evenly between the 3 which I don't feel is fair.

Anyway, I've been reading up and it seems you don't actually need the other owners permission to go ahead.

If DH really puts his foot down and says no to doing it amicably, WIBU to do it anyway?

I really don't feel comfortable with the idea of not being able to control my share of the house and leave it to my son. It's what I wish to do with it if something ever happened to me.

OP posts:
OperationRinka · 30/01/2022 20:38

He's foolhardy. His children have far more to lose from the status quo than you child does.

christmassausages · 30/01/2022 20:40

Can you not write a will and leave your 50% to your child?

Lancssss · 30/01/2022 20:41

Do it. It’s the most sensible option all round.

Original poster
FigOPig · 30/01/2022 20:43

@christmassausages

Can you not write a will and leave your 50% to your child?
No because the house is in joint tenants. Which means he owns it 100% on my death and visa versa. Only when it's tenants in common can you leave your share to someone other than the other owner.
OP posts:
SportsMother · 30/01/2022 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
FigOPig · 30/01/2022 20:49

What happens if he leaves his half to the SC and they want their share. Are there tax implications?

Don't know about tax implications as not spoken to a solicitor yet but as I understand it you can state that you want your spouse to have life time occupancy so they can live in the house for the rest of their life but if they sell it (or when they too die), that's when the children will get their split. They can't demand it before that.

OP posts:
Original poster
FigOPig · 30/01/2022 20:50

I believe if it were me who'd died, it would only be my 50% that would need to be given to DS at the point of him selling the house rather than dying himself. His half could stay with him so he can purchase something else, he wouldn't have to give his half to DSC at that point, only if he too died. I think... Confused

OP posts:
MadeForThis · 30/01/2022 20:52

If it remains as joint tenants and you die first, it isn't just the house being divided in three you need to worry about. He could marry again and the house could go to his new wife on his death. All the kids could get nothing.

MadeForThis · 30/01/2022 20:53

And vice versa.

Original poster
FigOPig · 30/01/2022 20:54

@MadeForThis

If it remains as joint tenants and you die first, it isn't just the house being divided in three you need to worry about. He could marry again and the house could go to his new wife on his death. All the kids could get nothing.
Yes very true! I think I'm just going to do it.
OP posts:
CheshireDing · 30/01/2022 20:54

If you change it to tenants in common, you really need to put a trust deed in place to say what each person wants to happen to their share.

I would change it if I wasn’t happy personally

Dillydollydingdong · 30/01/2022 20:58

You can do it, so do it. He leaves his half to his DC, and you leave your half to your DC. Where's the problem?

user1471457751 · 30/01/2022 20:59

So if you split it 50/50, you want your child to kick him out to get their share. If not split and he dies first, you will leave it all to you child ignoring your stepchildren. Both show a really shit attitude towards your family

Original poster
FigOPig · 30/01/2022 21:07

@user1471457751

So if you split it 50/50, you want your child to kick him out to get their share. If not split and he dies first, you will leave it all to you child ignoring your stepchildren. Both show a really shit attitude towards your family
What?

No. I don't think you've understood it at all.

Joint tenants - when one spouse dies the property is transferred 100% to the other living spouse. They could remarry as PP said and then die and their new spouse could have the whole thing and cut all the children out. Or if I died, H could decide he was going to leave everything equally to all 3 kids (which wouldn't be fair on my son) or I could IN THEORY not saying I would, choose to leave the whole thing to my son. The point is it becomes the living spouses property 100%, you don't get to decide where any of it goes, they do.

Tenants in common - I can say that on my death H can live in the house until he either sells it or dies himself. At that point my son would receive my 50% and H, if he were still alive, would take his 50% and do whatever OR if he had died as well, his 50% would also then be left to whoever he'd named in his will. It's the only way to ensure your "share" goes to who you want it to.

No one would be kicked out. That's the whole idea of a life time occupancy clause.

OP posts:
SeasonFinale · 30/01/2022 21:14

Sever now and do your Will how you have suggested above. If he can't see the reasoning for you doing this it actually proves you are right to do it!! If he does see the reason then he can make a similar provision.

Do you have existing wills? If so and leaves it to each other then he would be the one potentially not protecting his kids interest.

You are doing the right thing.

Alpinechalet · 30/01/2022 21:19

Definitely go for tenants in common.

merrymouse · 30/01/2022 21:22

No inheritance tax is due on a transfer between spouses, but inheritance tax is due on a transfer to a child.

Obviously the importance of this depends on the size of your estate and your lawyer can advise on the best way to deal with this.

UthredofBattenberg · 30/01/2022 21:24

I'd do it whether he like it or not. Though, I cant understand why he wouldnt agree to this. As things stands, if he were to die, and you remarry, then YOU die, then all the kids could potentially get nothing.

sunshinesupermum · 30/01/2022 21:29

Do it.

WonderfulYou · 30/01/2022 21:34

If DH really puts his foot down and says no to doing it amicably, WIBU to do it anyway?

Yes of course you would be unreasonable. You would also sacrifice your relationship.

As a PP said it works in his favour if he does this.
Tell him it will also give him peace of mind as if he died you could remarried and have more children etc.

Youngstreet · 30/01/2022 21:37

@user1471457751. Your more interested in having a go than reading the thread properly.

MooSakah · 30/01/2022 21:41

What you're proposing makes sense for your situation. His kids are actually better off that way as otherwise if he dies you can leave it all to the one DC or the local cat sanctuary if you prefer.

Youngstreet · 30/01/2022 21:41

Not a problem in France because you can’t disinherit dc.
Although some spouses are finding that on the death of the other half dsc who are adults and they have become estranged still get a quarter of the home, half of their parents estate.

Tangelablue · 30/01/2022 21:53

My grandparents done this. When my grandad passed away, my gran went into a home as she had dementia. When the house was sold, only 50% could be used for her care cost. Most of their savings also went on grans care as well.
It makes a lot of sense to become tenants in common.

DixonD · 30/01/2022 21:54

@CheshireDing

If you change it to tenants in common, you really need to put a trust deed in place to say what each person wants to happen to their share.

I would change it if I wasn’t happy personally

I do this for a living.

No trust deed is required unless you hold the property as tenants in common in unequal shares. You only need a Will to state what you want happen with your share. A trust deed will never do this.

OP, you absolutely can serve notice on him to sever the tenancy. You do not need his agreement, just proof you have notified him that you are severing the tenancy, such as proof of postage (this is what we would do as a law firm).

You can then leave him a life interest in your share until he dies, at which point the capital passes to your chosen beneficiaries.