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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mother says she was virtually groped by three male characters within seconds of entering Facebook's online world Metaverse

274 replies

PrincessNikla · 30/01/2022 12:25

On a visit this month, the mother-of-four entered the ‘lobby’ – a virtual space serving as an entry point. But within seconds she was pursued by the men’s avatars, who groped her, subjected her to a stream of sexual innuendo and took screen shots of the attack for several minutes as she tried to flee.

She had to tear off her headset – which covers her eyes and allows her to see the metaverse as her avatar sees it – to end the ordeal.

While she could not actually feel the avatars’ hands, Mrs Patel has suffered from anxiety since the attack – and fears for the safety of her three teenage girls and other women in this lawless virtual world.

She said: ‘I entered the Horizon Venues metaverse as an avatar who looked just like me – middle-aged, blonde and dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved top.

‘The space you enter is a lobby, like a theatre foyer. Within 60 seconds, three male avatars – who all had male voices – came towards me and touched me inappropriately.

‘Before I knew what was happening, they were taking screen shots of them touching my avatar, both my upper and lower body. While doing that, they said things like, “Don’t pretend you don’t love it.”

‘I tried to move away but they followed me. I didn’t know who these people were or have the time to stay and investigate.’

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10455417/Mother-43-avatar-groped-three-male-characters-online-Metaverse.html

I haven't been on there, so cannot comment on how often this happens and if she was unlucky or if it happens a lot. I agree that the 'men' (if they were men as they were avatars) were completely out of order.

I totally agree it is horrible, but 'an ordeal' ? 'suffered from anxiety' since the attack? How hard would it be to just take off your headset to get out of it?

OP posts:
Shortpoet · 30/01/2022 12:39

For an event to be traumatic it usually needs most or all of the following: Unexpected, dramatic, isolating and you don’t have a strategy to deal with it.

Thus experience fits all of these. She wasn’t expecting it it happened suddenly, she experienced high emotions of fear and disgust, she felt isolated due to there being three against one and she didn’t have a prepared strategy (because she wasn’t expecting it). It happened very quickly. She tried moving away, then she did take her helmet off.

Just because it happened virtually, doesn’t mean it wasn’t distressing or shocking for her.

Pinkflipflop85 · 30/01/2022 12:42

Sounds like a bloody ordeal to me!

Sciurus83 · 30/01/2022 12:42

Yeh this sounds horrible, why are you questioning her reaction? Cyber bullying is traumatic. Silly hysterical women hey.

Hospedia · 30/01/2022 12:43

Do we now try and police how we think people "should" feel after something horrible happens to them? No thanks.

PonyPatter44 · 30/01/2022 12:47

Its just as real. Its not like she was attacked by monsters in a game, there were real men controlling the avatars and speaking to her. That is FUCKING scary and potentially an offence. Yes of course she had an easy way out that she wouldn't have necessarily had in real life, but that doesn't make it less scary or intimidating. Sad that she felt she had to add the bit about how she was dressed as well.

The MetaVerse 'police' need to start thinking about how they deal with this stuff.

Shortpoet · 30/01/2022 12:47

As well as that she now has to process the meta verse being the same awful misogynistic shit as the real world.
She’s even justified what she was wearing in case anyone blames her for “asking for it” by her clothing choices.

XenoBitch · 30/01/2022 12:49

I use VR, and stuff like this happens all the time. The perpetrators are often children. I am fed up with parents using it a baby sitting device, and not knowing what their kids are up to.

The app this happened in is not the "metaverse". It is basically a lobby, with various rooms containing streaming videos coming off of it.

If someone approaches you, and you re not comfortable with it, you can activate a safe zone, which removes you from the room and lets you report any nastiness. This lady will have gone through the tutorial on how to do that before she would have been allowed to leave her home space.

PrincessNikla · 30/01/2022 12:50

I know everyone is different, which is why I have started a post on it to see how other women feel.

For this instance, I feel its not really cyberbullying? Isnt cyberbullying targeted attacks on a known person (again, I am open to being educated on this) This was an attack on a virtual character, there is no link to the person in real life, there is no (stated) follow up stalking or danger to life.

OP posts:
MarshaBradyo · 30/01/2022 12:50

Sounds awful

A small point but why does being a mother feature so much anyway. For any female it sounds awful

Arbeity · 30/01/2022 12:52

Why do you think someone needs to know someone to bully them?!

Although tbh, I wouldn't class this as bullying. More like sexual assault.

PrincessNikla · 30/01/2022 12:52

@XenoBitch

I use VR, and stuff like this happens all the time. The perpetrators are often children. I am fed up with parents using it a baby sitting device, and not knowing what their kids are up to.

The app this happened in is not the "metaverse". It is basically a lobby, with various rooms containing streaming videos coming off of it.

If someone approaches you, and you re not comfortable with it, you can activate a safe zone, which removes you from the room and lets you report any nastiness. This lady will have gone through the tutorial on how to do that before she would have been allowed to leave her home space.

So when you go in, there is a way you can get out quickly if you need to? I dont do VR.
OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 30/01/2022 12:52

OP it's very disappointing to hear that you are so dismissive of how this person felt. It happened to them and this is the way they feel because of it.

celiamary · 30/01/2022 12:53

Another piece of new technology I won't try to use then. Nokia phones anyone?

Shortpoet · 30/01/2022 12:53

You can’t see why a fully immersive sexual assault would be distressing?

Do you completely lack empathy and imagination?

SamphiretheStickerist · 30/01/2022 12:53

@XenoBitch

I use VR, and stuff like this happens all the time. The perpetrators are often children. I am fed up with parents using it a baby sitting device, and not knowing what their kids are up to.

The app this happened in is not the "metaverse". It is basically a lobby, with various rooms containing streaming videos coming off of it.

If someone approaches you, and you re not comfortable with it, you can activate a safe zone, which removes you from the room and lets you report any nastiness. This lady will have gone through the tutorial on how to do that before she would have been allowed to leave her home space.

Well that makes the whole experience just fine and dandy then!

FFS! Raise your bar!

XenoBitch · 30/01/2022 12:54

So when you go in, there is a way you can get out quickly if you need to? I dont do VR

Yes, you activate a shield icon on your wrist and it removes you from the room and away from anyone. You have to demonstrate how to do it to complete the tutorial.

MrsTrumpton · 30/01/2022 12:55

My understanding of VR is that you move around as you wear the headset and your actions then become your avatar's actions. So the sensation of these men crowding her and touching her on screen must've feel horribly real, even if she couldn't actually feel them on her person. It's probably being referred to as cyberbullying because a term hasn't been invented for it – virtual sexual assault?

XenoBitch · 30/01/2022 12:55

@Shortpoet

You can’t see why a fully immersive sexual assault would be distressing?

Do you completely lack empathy and imagination?

VR is not fully immersive, and with the app in question, everyone looks like a cartoon and has no legs.
PrincessNikla · 30/01/2022 12:56

@Arbeity

Why do you think someone needs to know someone to bully them?!

Although tbh, I wouldn't class this as bullying. More like sexual assault.

Are we in danger of trivialising sexual assault here though? This was not a real person.
OP posts:
WhatScratch · 30/01/2022 12:57

’You can’t see why a fully immersive sexual assault would be distressing? Do you completely lack empathy and imagination?’

This ^

PrincessNikla · 30/01/2022 12:58

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

OP it's very disappointing to hear that you are so dismissive of how this person felt. It happened to them and this is the way they feel because of it.
Can't you see that's why i have posted here? If I thought she had reacted appropriately, I would have posted "how awful that she went through this" and probably in the Feminism board as well.

I'm not sure dismissive is the right term, more confused maybe?

OP posts:
Hospedia · 30/01/2022 12:58

It was an assault that was sexual in nature. What do you think it should be called?

milkyaqua · 30/01/2022 12:59

Have you never been aggressively attacked online? It feels real, the body's shock is real, the activation of the limbic fear system is real.
You seem stunningly lacking in imagination and fellow-feeling to be trivialising her experience and aftereffects.

Vavavrrooom · 30/01/2022 12:59

The Avatar looked just like her.

The things they were doing were things women experience in real life. It’s not a huge leap for her to be taking it personally and feeling that, they (the men behind those avatars) would have no issues behaving the same way to her in real life and for her to now be thinking about other young women/her daughters experiencing that.

There is huge upset on here when someone personally attacks a person and these are just words -no images at all!

PrincessNikla · 30/01/2022 13:00

@Shortpoet

You can’t see why a fully immersive sexual assault would be distressing?

Do you completely lack empathy and imagination?

As pp say, if you are feeling uncomfortable you can exit instantly....?
OP posts:
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