Am I wrong or is he?
I need a third person to tell me either I'm a psycho or he's a chauvinistic $%&#^
We've got 2 kids. 2 year old and 2 month old. Ever since we've had more responsibilities the more we fight about the responsibilities. He works full time I'm a full time mum.
I work 24 hours. No break. 2 small kids. I also have always done all the house chores and cooking. It gets really hard that once a month he pays a cleaner for a deep clean. I managed all that until I had baby number 2. He doesn't want to help. He does help me though sometimes. But by force. Guilt tripping him. When the house ends up looking like a pigs sty because I literally can't do it. I'm exclusively breastfeeding and baby is clingy. Toddler is not eating properly recently and is being so picky so it takes me hours to make sure she has enough to eat. Giving them both a bath. It takes me all day. And as soon as he's home I just need that help. Just even holding the newborn so I can give my arms a break. Or have a shower. Cooking an evening meal with them two with me alone is impossible. I can't do it without his help. He comes home late (by choice). So we don't end up eating till. Very late. I'm exhausted because I don't get a chance to eat and eat really late. Breastfeeding takes all the energy from me and it stresses me that I don't eat enough to give enough to my baby through breastfeeding.
Anyhow, he has a misogynistic mentality. He thinks it's my job to do all that above. And having food on the table is a 'given'. He shouldnt have to do any of that. Im a wife and a mother and I should do all that without help All he has to do is bring in the money and provide. Anything he does do to help. Like washing dishes or putting laundry on or giving our toddler a bath is him doing me a favour. These are his words.
I realised what his mentality is like since we've had kids. Before then it wasn't really highlighted. We were both working and just doing our own thing on not much to do. With kids I expect us to do everything together. It's his responsibility too. I have a 24/7 job. He thinks I stay in bed for hours and hours and sleep and rest
When I've told him numerous times I'm breastfeeding! If I don't I lose my supply! I don't sleep all night. And have 1-2 hours sleep every few hours or so. That doesn't mean I'm in bed all day sleeping!!! I'm exhausted. When my baby does finally settle then the toddler is up! I wash her give her breakfast on no sleep and no food. Once they've all sorted then I eat breakfast. I can only do house chores or cooking when the husband is home and he takes over atleast one of the kids.
But he hates it. All he wants to do is come home and relax and do nothing. If he has to do me some 'favours' it makes him so angry and he starts swearing. It's my job apparently. He won't even change toddlers Nappy. From his point of view him washing up is him doing something HUGE for me and if I ask him to change toddlers nappy too otherwise she'll get a rash whilst waiting for me to finish breastfeeding or settling the newborn is taking the piss and I deserve to be verbally abused and he doesn't care if she gets a rash! His mentality drives me crazy because he's the polar opposite to me with my mentality and what I want in a man. And therefore I am verbally abusive to him too. I feel like if I don't let it out, my brain will explode!
I cant deal with it anymore feel like I'm going crazy. Feel like a single mother but financially stable. That's the only good thing I get from him. The relationship is so toxic now. He doesn't know how to be a father or husband in my opinion. He should have stayed single and watched as much netflix as he wanted and have his mum and sisters spoon feed him as they always have done.
What do you guys think?