AIBU for not going to wedding 8 days after due date

[HeartofAss]

What would you do?

Friend's wedding in Spain, August 13th. I'm due with baby #3 on August 5th in Manchester.

I am getting major FOMO about not going... it's going to be an incredible wedding with tons of old friends going, lots of kids and babies around. Everyone is making a holiday of it, renting houses together etc.

Especially after 2 years of cancelled/boring holidays I just would so love to go.

I am quite certain of my conception date and baby is measuring exactly on dates so far. Baby #1 and #2 were both easy births and came 1 and 2 days before due date respectively. We went to a wedding 10 days after baby #1 with no problems... although that was in Scotland so simpler. And we didn't have other kids and weren't building a big holiday around it. And wasn't during a pandemic.

I haven't replied to RSVP yet... what would you do?

I think the passport would be the barrier. I went to a wedding 7 days after having DS but it was about a 30 minute drive away.

I don’t think it will be possible which is such a shame as it sounds lovely!

Can you plan a get together later in the year with the friendship group? You could have a weekend away in a cottage/villa or if you’re having a christening party and then you’ll have chance to catch up!

Well I’d say no!
My DS was 10 days late, and came very quickly, but I lost a lot of blood and nearly ended up in theatre. Then I got cellulitis after having iron infusions and had to keep returning to hospital.
So for me it’s the following:
Don’t know what day baby wants to arrive
Don’t know how the birth will go
Don’t know if baby will face any issues
Or if you will have an issues
Don’t know what follow up you need afterwards
But it’s a straight no with the - needing to travel to another country and
Needing passports

Does your friend know your due date?

I feel anxious just thinking about it.
No way!

Some people are so used to reading about couples unreasonable demands for their destination weddings they are not reading properly.
The Op actually wants to go!

Wow even if the wedding was an hour down the road from me i wouldn't be sure about this... in a different country presents so many potentially huge and stressful problems that it's almost ludicrous to even consider.

Although I'm slightly in awe at your can-do attitude OP!!

Ahh I’m sorry op, that does sound like it would be good fun.
Like everyone else has said, it’s the practicalities that will be a problem e.g passport, birth certificate.
Could you book everything last minute if baby did come early, you were feeling well and would be able to travel? And could get passport in time?
Looks like most airlines like the baby to be a couple of weeks old so baby would have to be over a week early though!

Alternatively, could someone video call you at the wedding, so you could get to say hi to everyone, have a bit of a catch up and congratulate the bride and groom?
Obviously not the same at all, but I think something like that may help me feel a bit better if I was you!

Years ago when flying home from Gran Canaria at the airport a couple came and jumped the check in queue due to them having a 2 week old baby. They apparently flew out when a week old. It caused a bit in a stir.

The Op actually wants to go!

Yes, I read that, but I doubt that she would be able to register the baby and get a passport in time.

@HeartofAss

Duh, I hadn't thought about passport!!! That's a big blocker. Feel a bit silly for forgetting about that one

Pregnancy brain!

You would be crazy to go. Even if you have a no-complications birth a few days early and are completely recovered by the wedding day, I wouldn't take an unvaccinated newborn on a plane.

There's plenty of time to organise how to attend "virtually" online.

Just wondering how you are going to get a birth certificate issued and passport in that time frame? Not easy after having just given birth.

@MrsClatterbuck

Years ago when flying home from Gran Canaria at the airport a couple came and jumped the check in queue due to them having a 2 week old baby. They apparently flew out when a week old. It caused a bit in a stir.

FWIW some airlines allow newborns travel from 7 days, so outbound at one week, return at two might have (just) been legit from a purely medical POV.

Travelling abroad so soon after birth. I am not sure you can, given the age of the young baby and getting a passport.

Is there any way you could watch via videolink/zoom. I know its not the same, but you will have a tiny baby whom just could not travel.

The issue might be buying the flight. Ive flown with a small baby and the issue we had was buying tickets when we didn’t know a DOB / name for the baby. Plus then getting a passport in time. It sounds a logistical nightmare tbh

I wouldn't.

Airlines have a minimum age that babies can fly and I think its around the 2 week mark, something to do with their ears and cabin pressure. I'm sorry you'll habe to miss out, maybe book a fantastic family holiday in the meantime, when baby is a month or so old, something to look forward too.

Honestly you’ll look back when you’ve had the baby and realise what a bonkers idea this was.

@Noisenough

Airlines have a minimum age that babies can fly and I think its around the 2 week mark, something to do with their ears and cabin pressure. I'm sorry you'll habe to miss out, maybe book a fantastic family holiday in the meantime, when baby is a month or so old, something to look forward too.

Airlines have a minimum age that babies can fly and I think its around the 2 week mark,

Been discussed upthread- for some airlines it’s as little as seven days, for others it is indeed as much as two weeks…it’s usually covered in an airline’s website under FAQs…