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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fake post taken down re autistic child

62 replies

ButterOllocks · 28/01/2022 16:12

I just came back to look at this post, as I had commented - poured my heart out really Sad - about the reality of living with a child (now young man) with autism - as did many other mumsnetters - with your own experiences - and trying to help the OP . The original post was heartbreaking - yet untrue, but the rest of the posts were heartrending.
I feel so sad/angry/ tearful that this has happened - and wonder if getting reactions from our responses the OP got any satisfaction from the actual reality of SEN and lack of support and understanding.

OP posts:
Chickychoccyegg · 28/01/2022 16:15

I read the thread your talking about, I can't believe it's made up? That's awful,and as you said people were sharing their real experiences, I hope the op is ashamed of themselves!!

hugr · 28/01/2022 16:17

Wait what? What was the deletion message then?

HollowTalk · 28/01/2022 16:17

Is that the one where the OP said her child had broken several TV sets?

Cissyandflora · 28/01/2022 16:20

And the strange thing is that this thread will now be taken down too so you won’t even be allowed to express your feelings and discuss why someone might do this. Horrible

Original poster
ButterOllocks · 28/01/2022 16:21

It was a long post about having a small child, baby in hospital, and child with autism effectively being impossible to cope with - I went back to look after I'd poured my heart out - the post had been deleted as the poster - cannot remember the exact wording- had been banned previously for this kind of post - found to be untrue

OP posts:
ofwarren · 28/01/2022 16:21

Wait, which post? The one that said autism is not a gift?
What did the delete message say?

Original poster
ButterOllocks · 28/01/2022 16:22

Thread deleted
Message from MNHQ: Thanks for your reports about this thread. We've been checking behind the scenes and can now see that the OP's a previously banned poster so we're taking this thread down. Sorry to everyone who responded in good faith.

OP posts:
JadeSeahorse · 28/01/2022 16:22

Oh wow, I missed that one!

I would have been another relating as my, now adult, dd is severely autistic and was extremely destructive as a young child. Throwing TV sets was one of her special hobbies. 🙄

That’s disgusting if it was made up. I am so sorry my fellow Mnetters who know the full realities of having and living with an autistic child were used for entertainment, Words completely fail me! 🤬

hugr · 28/01/2022 16:23

Was this @daysoffin's post? I have reason to believe this is a true story, or the story is being posted elsewhere as fact.

hugr · 28/01/2022 16:23

Just because OP is PBP it doesn't mean the post was fictional

FarDownTheRiver · 28/01/2022 16:25

PBP does not mean the post was fake especially with the dubious means MN has of seeking PBPs

Original poster
ButterOllocks · 28/01/2022 16:26

Yes it was this post - from Mumsnet response - I read it to mean this was probably fictional - unless you know there's truth behind the story ?

OP posts:
JadeSeahorse · 28/01/2022 16:28

@ButterOllocks rest assured your post will still have proved so beneficial to someone despite this despicable poster.

I had my dd years before Mnet - or the internet really - existed and my God would I have loved a forum where I could have conversed with others suffering similarly. At the very least you realise you are not alone. Flowers

hugr · 28/01/2022 16:30

I won't share why due to the posters and my own privacy but I do really truly believe that the story is real - there were some very specific identifiable details she has posted elsewhere.

Hshuznw · 28/01/2022 16:32

In my experience MN does get it wrong with deleting posts…I’ve had mine wrongfully deleted in the past for being suspicious.

Original poster
ButterOllocks · 28/01/2022 16:32

@JadeSeahorse - thank you - I think I was one of the last to post - I was reading all of the responses and advice - then felt the need to put down my experiences (particularly my youngest son moving out to join the forces age 17 - just to get out and get a life out of all of the drama) Which I will never get over.

OP posts:
Cocomarine · 28/01/2022 16:33

You have to take EVERYTHING you read online with a whole sackful of salt.
Caveat poster rather than caveat emptor!
Always consider that when you reply.

  1. Did you feel good for helping an OP? (even if it turned out you didn’t) That’s a positive.
  1. Did you get to let out your own feelings? That’s positive.
  1. Did you help another reader? Lovely!
  1. Did another post on the thread help you? Also good.
  1. Did it entertain you? (not so much this type of thread but others) if yes, it served it’s purpose

There are plenty of reasons to still post. You need be forum-savvy to protect yourself though. I’ve been in chat rooms and forums for over 20 years. There’s ALWAYS been trolls.

Original poster
ButterOllocks · 28/01/2022 16:35

@hugr thanks for that, just hope the OP got the chance to see the support and love they have for dealing with this on a daily basis

OP posts:
Original poster
ButterOllocks · 28/01/2022 16:38

@Cocomarine it was cathartic telling my story, I am a little naive believing too much I guess

OP posts:
Summersnake · 28/01/2022 16:38

Are you joking me
I posted a long reply ,explaining my life with autism and how we were let down.
I don’t know why I bother ,I really don’t
Sick individuals

Cocomarine · 28/01/2022 16:39

[quote ButterOllocks]@Cocomarine it was cathartic telling my story, I am a little naive believing too much I guess[/quote]
You sound like a lovely person and whether the poster was for real or not doesn’t take that away. Concentrate on what you did get from it Flowers

JadeSeahorse · 28/01/2022 16:40

[quote ButterOllocks]@JadeSeahorse - thank you - I think I was one of the last to post - I was reading all of the responses and advice - then felt the need to put down my experiences (particularly my youngest son moving out to join the forces age 17 - just to get out and get a life out of all of the drama) Which I will never get over.[/quote]
Then I am so sorry to have missed your post as it sounds as if things are extremely tough for you. 😰

If the original poster was genuine then I will happily be the first to apologise but can’t understand why Mnet would delete the post if true and particularly if it appeared the poster was seriously struggling; PBP or not.

Original poster
ButterOllocks · 28/01/2022 16:41

@Cocomarine thank you Flowers

OP posts:
Justrealised · 28/01/2022 16:45

I've just come back on to check on that post as I'd tried to help. Why on Earth would anyone pretend to be in that position? I just don't get it? What would they get from that?

Original poster
ButterOllocks · 28/01/2022 16:45

@JadeSeahorse thank you - I just wished I could turn the clock back, asked for respite (not sure if I would have received - though I was offered the stay-a-while scheme) and spent more time and energy on my youngest. (who put up with the violence, name calling and having 'no filter' re emotions when talking) - which is the advice I gave

OP posts: