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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use benefits to put down a deposit for a house

435 replies

Bringinglightandpeace · 28/01/2022 14:08

Hello all,

This thread is not about me.

I have a friend who is feeling incredibly guilty. This is how it goes... so she applied for benefits, she has children and a husband,,, well technically partner but anyway she received a huge backlog of benefits. She confided in me that she would like to use the money to to put down a deposit for a help to buy scheme or shared ownership. I told her "well you have to use every opportunity that you can get" but in my conscience, I was thinking, is this right? I am on benefits myself so not judging at all. She feels a bit down about it as it's not her hard on money that she used to put a deposit down..but then again some parents give their children money for a deposit... so I guess it's similar.

However, I feel a bit of itch and thought to myself that I don't think what she is doing is right. But then again, I don't want to come across as jealous. What do you all think?

OP posts:
Whammyyammy · 28/01/2022 14:54

@anon12345678901

She's committing fraud and honestly I hope she gets caught out for it. She is not entitled to those benefits. This is a reason people on benefits get a bad rep, because of people claiming fraudulently.
Totally agree. It's not the government she's defrauding, it's the tax payers. And as you say, it gives a bad rep to people thst genuinely need assistance. I hope she gets caught.
MotherOfLunatics · 28/01/2022 14:55

I completely understand both you and friend feeling uneasy about the situation. Just because someone is entitled to claim benefits doesn't mean they should. I.e millionaire Peter Stringfellow claiming his state pension, yes he was entitled to the money but clearly didn't need it and it could have been put to better use elsewhere.
While your friend isn't doing anything wrong and putting the money towards a home is very sensible idea, benefits are there to help people who are struggling fiancially.
I wouldn't be able to accept benefits I no longer needed, whether I was entitled to them or not.

StoatMilk · 28/01/2022 14:55

’I feel a bit of an itch’

Well stop being so judgemental about others and get yourself down to the chemist OP Hmm

KarenTheGammonRemoaner · 28/01/2022 14:56

She is literally entitled to the money, it's hers, she is a beneficiary of said money. You don't have to earn benefits so why would she have earned it? You can't earn benefits, who's this loyalty to? The government? Taxpayers? We pay into this system exactly so people can benefit from it. I hope I've put this across to get through to you; your friend getting a grip and sorting her life out using that money would be a success story!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 28/01/2022 14:57

It’s same as if she’d saved up the equivalent amount as she was going along, surely?

BillMasen · 28/01/2022 14:57

@KarenTheGammonRemoaner

She is literally entitled to the money, it's hers, she is a beneficiary of said money. You don't have to earn benefits so why would she have earned it? You can't earn benefits, who's this loyalty to? The government? Taxpayers? We pay into this system exactly so people can benefit from it. I hope I've put this across to get through to you; your friend getting a grip and sorting her life out using that money would be a success story!
Perhaps read the thread…
Moonopoly · 28/01/2022 14:57

I think you need to stay out of it OP. I don’t know about the new universal credit system but there used to be an enhanced payment for disability related unemployment on tax credits. Is it that? If so I don’t think that is connected to household income?

Moonopoly · 28/01/2022 14:58

Has she told you she’s not entitled to it?

caprimoon · 28/01/2022 14:58

She can't 'just transfer the deposit' to her OH, the solicitor / mortgage company will want to know where it has come from due to money laundering regs. It's a dangerous game to play Hmm

UserBotTrending · 28/01/2022 14:58

He's not a husband so. Legal is what counts.

I guess I sort of did the same. Well, kind of. As a single parent to two toddlers, felt a lot of shame not being able to work (childcare). I was on benefits but living with my parents. I saved as much as I could off their backs. I ended up with a ''deposit''. I was lucky. We hunkered down for years and I lived off my parents. Not everybody can do that.

I was judged, even by some of my parents' friends but they didn't know the extent of what I'd been through with my x. I'd like to think that that would have made them kinder but you don't know. One woman said to me isn't it nice for you that you can afford to leave. Confused

At one point I disclosed how much I'd saved to the DEASP as they're called in my country and they reduced my benefits.

The thing is though, I got out of the benefit trap. People will, and have judged me for this but I got out of the benefits trap. Not on rent allowance or Family INcome support. I have a job and I pay taxes oh holy grail, I don't for a minute think that that makes me a better person. But............... here I am, back on the hamster wheel paying back in to the system.

EvilPea · 28/01/2022 14:59

She’s entitled to it.
Arguably in the long term it could be seen as an investment for the tax payer
Stamp duty returns
Lack of housing benefit too ups when rent gets too much
Not needing housing benefit in elderly years
Could be sold for care home fees
Inheritance tax
A step up on the housing ladder so her kids don’t need housing benefit.

Win win for all I say.

BillMasen · 28/01/2022 14:59

Right

We’ll now get a very clear indication of how many people don’t bother to read a thread and just pile in…

Moonopoly · 28/01/2022 14:59

Also if her partner has poor credit they’ll struggle to get a mortgage. Most (even specialist lenders) want at least 12 months of no missed payments

GirlInACountrySong · 28/01/2022 14:59

This 'friend'..... it's really you isn't it OP?

It's fraud
It's wrong
It's an imprisonable offence

OrangeCinnamonCroissant · 28/01/2022 15:00

That sounds like benefit fraud I'm afraid.

WonderfulYou · 28/01/2022 15:00

YANBU
My friend did this - pretended to be a single parent to get help with rent and council tax yet the entire time her partner was living with her and working FT.

As a single parent struggling on one wage it really pisses me off. However at least your friend feels bad about it whereas most people don’t care.

ThreeFeetTall · 28/01/2022 15:00

So she's got an income low enough for benefits and he probably has CCJs against him for debt. I doubt they would get a mortgage so it's a moot point

Original poster
Bringinglightandpeace · 28/01/2022 15:00

@caprimoon

She can't 'just transfer the deposit' to her OH, the solicitor / mortgage company will want to know where it has come from due to money laundering regs. It's a dangerous game to play Hmm
But what's the issue, all she has to say that it's from her benefits? They wouldn't not give them a mortgage just because of that.
OP posts:
GirlInACountrySong · 28/01/2022 15:01

You said she's not going to be on the mortgage!?

WonderfulYou · 28/01/2022 15:02

She's committing fraud and honestly I hope she gets caught out for it. She is not entitled to those benefits. This is a reason people on benefits get a bad rep, because of people claiming fraudulently.

Absolutely this!!!

blyn72 · 28/01/2022 15:02

I think your friend is being extremely sensible. Good for her!

The government rips us off at any opportunity, if someone finds a way to work the Benefits system to their advantage, good for them.

Bexxe · 28/01/2022 15:03

So by the sounds of it, she hasn't been truthful about her living situation and who is living in the property - i would say its a bit out of order.

Maybe i am a bit sour though, I am not entitled to any benefits, both me and my partner work full time (with 2nd jobs) and still cant afford to put a deposit down with higher costs of living.

BillMasen · 28/01/2022 15:03

@blyn72

I think your friend is being extremely sensible. Good for her!

The government rips us off at any opportunity, if someone finds a way to work the Benefits system to their advantage, good for them.

Read The Bloody Thread Before Posting
StoneofDestiny · 28/01/2022 15:03

I said below that in England he is not her husband legally but in their religion he is

It's the legal distinction that is important when claiming benefits and getting housing/mortgages

GirlInACountrySong · 28/01/2022 15:03

@blyn72

I think your friend is being extremely sensible. Good for her!

The government rips us off at any opportunity, if someone finds a way to work the Benefits system to their advantage, good for them.

And when she gets caught?

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