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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Block after bad first date

68 replies

Hannah8514 · 26/01/2022 18:10

I went on a date with a guy last night and in addition to being the worst date I've ever been on, it might be up there in the top five worst interactions I've ever had with another human 😂

We started chatting about a week and a half ago; things were going well, we spoke on the phone, he said he liked me, flirting, etc. On Saturday night he was sending me odd texts which were a bit inappropriate but he was drunk so I thought whatever and gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Last night was our first date. From the moment I arrived until we parted ways (two pain-staking hours later), he spoke about himself. Told about his family, his gym schedule and his job. The job monologue dominated the majority of the evening; how he is doing multiple jobs, everyone relies on him, no one is nearly as good, blah blah blah. At one point I actually said he sounds like an asshole to work with but I think he was too consumed in his own story to even notice my comment.

The biggest annoyance for me in all of this is that throughout the entire evening he did not ask me even ONE question. Ok, he asked me what I want to drink but that's literally it (in hindsight I should have said several shots of tequila to endure this date!). I gave him lots of que's to ask me something by mentioning things I've done, family, etc., but not one did he pick up on, or just didn't care to ask.

My question is, AIBU to want to block this guy on WhatsApp or should I just leave it knowing that it's extremely unlikely we'll ever speak again, and if he does bother to message just ignore? I think it will annoy me even seeing his name pop up on my screen so I'm leaning towards block and forget.

Has anyone else ever had a date literally just speak about themselves for hours? How did you deal with it?

Thanks in advance! 😊

OP posts:
RainbowBridge21 · 26/01/2022 18:13

No need to block, just forget about him and if he messages just be honest and say 'I don't think it'll work out'.

Coronawireless · 26/01/2022 18:16

Yes he sounds socially awkward but he hasn’t been actually unpleasant to you so why block? If he asks, just say you don’t think things would work out but thank you and good luck.

MrsBerthaRochester · 26/01/2022 18:17

I had a very similiar experience last week. A date with a guy who talked about himself none stop. He even said at one point Im talking to much then carried on!
To top it off he wasnt as attractive as his pics(fugly) and was a gropey twat at the bus stop.
It was my first date in about 18 months and I wont be doing it again in a hurry.
He messaged the next day saying he would love to see me again and I told him he wasnt my type :)

Chamomileteaplease · 26/01/2022 18:20

Coronawireless - Socially awkward? Not unpleasant?

Strewth are you always so forgiving? Personally I do feel it is extremely unpleasant to monopolise conversation and to show no interest in someone who has made the effort to come out and meet you!

In answer to your question, it doesn't really matter does it, do what you like. I am sorry you had a wasted evening. What an idiot.

Laiste · 26/01/2022 18:28

I would just not message him and if he messages you say after your date you feel you aren't compatible ...

YEARS ago when i was a young teen i met a gorgeous bloke at a house party. It was very late and we were both a bit pissed and it was all slow dancing and snogging.

Went on a date with him next day - wow! He was gorgeous in daylight, flash car, VERY flash parental home. I sat in their beautiful lounge for 2 hours while he showed me ... photo album after photo album full of hundreds of pictures of ... HIMSELF ! Shock Here's me doing this, here's me doing that. here's me, me, ME, ME, ME , Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Yawn!

There was no second date.

Original poster
Hannah8514 · 26/01/2022 18:28

@Chamomileteaplease

Coronawireless - Socially awkward? Not unpleasant?

Strewth are you always so forgiving? Personally I do feel it is extremely unpleasant to monopolise conversation and to show no interest in someone who has made the effort to come out and meet you!

In answer to your question, it doesn't really matter does it, do what you like. I am sorry you had a wasted evening. What an idiot.

I would say more than socially awkward. Arrogant, narcissistic and definite sociopath vibes. I swear he didn't even crack a smile once. I made a few jokes (trying to break the ice) and he just stared blankly and then continued talking.

Usually I would just brush it off as a wasted evening but his demeanour made me really uncomfortable and the more I think about it, it was just plain odd.

I probably sound really dramatic but it was the weirdest date ever 😂

OP posts:
Dontsayyouloveme · 26/01/2022 18:37

I think I’ve dated this guy also!! In all seriousness, I had a horrific date with a very unpleasant narcissist who also never asked me a single question the entire time. I called him out on it and apparently it was a ‘test’! I’m assuming I passed his test, as he asked to see me again. Needless to say I told him what a truly unpleasant person I thought he was then blocked him.

Sidge · 26/01/2022 18:42

You don’t owe him anything. Feel free to block if you’d like to, otherwise just ignore.

I used to find blocking and deleting their number gave me that finality, otherwise they can go on WhatsApp and see your picture etc.

Lightstoobright · 26/01/2022 18:43

Lol I love the bit about calling him an asshole and he didn't even notice because he was too wrapped up in himself. Says it all. Can't stand people like this. I would block out of principle.

Georgeskitchen · 26/01/2022 19:04

The worst date I ever went on (long before internet) was from an old fashioned "lonely hearts" page in a newspaper 😁 I was mid 20s , the guy was late 30s so probably a bit too much of an age gap at the time
He talked non stop about his ex, asked me if I knew her, and even hinted that she and I might have colluded to set up the date!! I looked around to see if I could excuse myself to the ladies and sneak out, but there was only one entrance and would have had to walk right past him!! It was one the most cringy experiences ever!!
A few days later I received a letter from him returning the photo I had sent him and informed me he didn't think we were right for each other!!
Thank god 🤣

2bazookas · 26/01/2022 19:15

it might be up there in the top five worst interactions I've ever had with another human

You must have led a very sheltered life with minimal human contact.
Original poster
Hannah8514 · 26/01/2022 19:18

@2bazookas

it might be up there in the top five worst interactions I've ever had with another human 
You must have led a very sheltered life with minimal human contact.</div></div>

Obviously I was being flippant

OP posts:
Adeleskirts · 26/01/2022 19:20

Just block him, why the angst?

lioncitygirl · 26/01/2022 19:23

Just block him of you want to 🤷🏻‍♀️

Tavelo · 26/01/2022 19:26

I had a date like this once and like yours he also didn't seem to express humour much. At one point I sort of laughed about something and he even asked me why i was laughing 😂 as if mirth was a completely foreign idea to him.
I don't think it'd be the worst thing ever to block him but personally I would just leave it and if he asks for another date I'd just be honest and say no thank you but good luck.

spotcheck · 26/01/2022 19:26

Can you not just send him the usual- ' Thanks for the evening, I really don't there's a future for us, but bust of luck'

You went on one date. He could be a narcissist or he could be someone who had additional needs/ has social anxiety, or is just rude.

Blocking is just unnecessarily mean at this stage.

If you had a bad date, how would you feel if you were just instantly blocked?

Original poster
Hannah8514 · 26/01/2022 19:29

Thanks for the responses, ladies 😊 Your bad stories are making me feel much better about mine!

OP posts:
Original poster
Hannah8514 · 26/01/2022 19:31

@spotcheck

Can you not just send him the usual- ' Thanks for the evening, I really don't there's a future for us, but bust of luck'

You went on one date. He could be a narcissist or he could be someone who had additional needs/ has social anxiety, or is just rude.

Blocking is just unnecessarily mean at this stage.

If you had a bad date, how would you feel if you were just instantly blocked?

I'd probably feel just as bad being blocked if I were him as it feels having gotten ready for a date, excited/nervous, made an effort, only to be completely ignored. I don't think he deserves a message but maybe I am being mean. I appreciate everyone's advice 😊
OP posts:
pyewackett · 26/01/2022 19:34

Years ago, one of my husband's friends was bemoaning yet another bad date. He wasn't sure it'd work out as the lady wasn't interested in any of his obscure hobbies. I said "maybe you could do something she likes doing - what does she like?" and he just stood there surprised and blinked. He had no idea! I don't think it had crossed his mind to ask her.

I doubt he's changed. Your date's name didn't start with a "T", did it?

WTF475878237NC · 26/01/2022 19:38

I would definitely block. Wouldn't want him seeing my profile but more so, would never want to give him head space again, which you will if he messages you and you think through what to do/say.

Everydaydayisaschoolday · 26/01/2022 19:42

Social cues are important. Obviously we all miss some occasionally because we are all different but if, on the first date, the ones he is missing are putting you off him then you aren't well suited. Don't ignore the ick. Either message a polite brush off or block. Either way, just move on.

Everydaydayisaschoolday · 26/01/2022 19:43

@2bazookas

it might be up there in the top five worst interactions I've ever had with another human 
You must have led a very sheltered life with minimal human contact.</div></div>

Or an amazing life with lots of very positive human contact.

Catastrophejane · 26/01/2022 19:44

OP- I think I’ve dated this guy! Grin

He was quite handsome. Date started well - he seemed chatty, then omg he just didn’t stop talking about himself once!

Never asked a single question about me until mid way through main course of dinner ( we’d been for a drink first).

He actually said ‘ Enough about me, tell me about yourself’. I started laughing, then was completely lost for words at such a vague question!

Spent a week worrying how to politely decline a second date…but he never got in touch!

I’d love to hear his perception of the evening! Probably thought I was too quiet Smile

Thirtytimesround · 26/01/2022 20:25

Honestly I think blocking someone unless they’re harassing you is very immature. Why not just deal with it like an adult? If he asks you out again, say no. Easy. If he keeps pestering you, then that’s the time to block.

But hey you don’t need my permission do wht you like 🤷‍♀️🤣.

Original poster
Hannah8514 · 27/01/2022 00:06

@Adeleskirts

Just block him, why the angst?
No angst. Just interested in people's anecdotes.
OP posts: