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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Block after bad first date

68 replies

Hannah8514 · 26/01/2022 18:10

I went on a date with a guy last night and in addition to being the worst date I've ever been on, it might be up there in the top five worst interactions I've ever had with another human 😂

We started chatting about a week and a half ago; things were going well, we spoke on the phone, he said he liked me, flirting, etc. On Saturday night he was sending me odd texts which were a bit inappropriate but he was drunk so I thought whatever and gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Last night was our first date. From the moment I arrived until we parted ways (two pain-staking hours later), he spoke about himself. Told about his family, his gym schedule and his job. The job monologue dominated the majority of the evening; how he is doing multiple jobs, everyone relies on him, no one is nearly as good, blah blah blah. At one point I actually said he sounds like an asshole to work with but I think he was too consumed in his own story to even notice my comment.

The biggest annoyance for me in all of this is that throughout the entire evening he did not ask me even ONE question. Ok, he asked me what I want to drink but that's literally it (in hindsight I should have said several shots of tequila to endure this date!). I gave him lots of que's to ask me something by mentioning things I've done, family, etc., but not one did he pick up on, or just didn't care to ask.

My question is, AIBU to want to block this guy on WhatsApp or should I just leave it knowing that it's extremely unlikely we'll ever speak again, and if he does bother to message just ignore? I think it will annoy me even seeing his name pop up on my screen so I'm leaning towards block and forget.

Has anyone else ever had a date literally just speak about themselves for hours? How did you deal with it?

Thanks in advance! 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
Hannah8514 · 27/01/2022 10:58

@slashlover

Arrogant, narcissistic and definite sociopath vibes.

Narcissist and sociopath? You've been on MN too long, those words get thrown around here as if they're meaningless.

I have no doubt they do but, unfortunately, all 3 words describe this guy to a tee
OP posts:
Original poster
Hannah8514 · 27/01/2022 11:01

@TheDuchessOfMN

I don’t understand why you would block him. It’s a really shitty, hurtful thing to do. He won’t know why you’ve blocked him. Trust me, it bloody hurts.

If he asks, tell him you’d rather not see him again. If he continues to contact you or if he’s unpleasant, then block him.

I do understand this point of view. Blocking can be mean and if were just a bad/boring date then I wouldn't block. But he was giving off weird vibes since the weekend and the date just solidified that he is not someone I ever want to see or hear from again. He's uncomfortable to be around.
OP posts:
TheDuchessOfMN · 27/01/2022 13:09

That’s fair enough. I still think to block is unnecessarily spiteful 🤷‍♀️

You stayed for 2 hours. He probably thought you were enjoying his company.

Anyway, it’s done now…

Needaholidayplease · 27/01/2022 13:13

Hahaha oh god. Almost every date I've gone on (prior to meeting husband) has had these vibes more or less. People are v v self involved.
Nah don't block, just ignore, or if he texts just say you're not interested. Not worth any more time!

toastfiend · 27/01/2022 19:31

@TheDuchessOfMN

That’s fair enough. I still think to block is unnecessarily spiteful 🤷‍♀️

You stayed for 2 hours. He probably thought you were enjoying his company.

Anyway, it’s done now…

OP barely knows this man. She doesn't owe him anything and if she feels most comfortable blocking him then that's what she should do. We really need to lose this attitude that cutting contact with virtual strangers is somehow unacceptable or unkind, he appears to have shown no care for her comfort when they were on this date, why should she think of his now? We don't owe men our time or the right to communicate with us.
Catastrophejane · 29/01/2022 13:29

@Hannah8514 just read your update about his name…this ‘Stu’ isn’t from Glasgow by any chance???

Iamnotamermaid · 29/01/2022 14:06

No need to block unless he is harassing you. Just say 'thanks for the lovely evening but you are not what i am looking for. All the best'.

Men do tend to monologue when trying to impress...especially after a few drinks. I have taken a 10 minute break during these (just say 'sorry I need a break, back in 10'). If I am lucky they are gone by the time I return. And this is why I never do dinner dates until they have proven they can handle a 2 way conversation.

mrgoodatfixingrhings · 29/01/2022 14:25

*Has anyone else ever had a date literally just speak about themselves for hours ? How did you deal with it ?
*
Yes .... and I stupidly sat through it as I thought I was being ignorant to her if I said anything Sad.
21/2 hours later I knew her life story and every person she's met .... she probably couldn't tell anyone more than my first name and I worked somewhere " down that road "

The toilet had no windows for escape that day Grin

Original poster
Hannah8514 · 29/01/2022 14:40

[quote Catastrophejane]@Hannah8514 just read your update about his name…this ‘Stu’ isn’t from Glasgow by any chance???[/quote]
Nah, Stu from Preston but lives in Manchester. How funny would it be if we had both had the same awful date with the same guy?! 😂

OP posts:
I0NA · 29/01/2022 15:24

@TheDuchessOfMN

That’s fair enough. I still think to block is unnecessarily spiteful 🤷‍♀️

You stayed for 2 hours. He probably thought you were enjoying his company.

Anyway, it’s done now…

Ah you see ladies.

If you leave after 30 mins you are being rude. And if you stay two hours you are pretending that you enjoy his company and misleading him.

Even though he sent you inappropriate messages before the date and was rude for two hours during the date, you still owe him niceness and kindness and understanding.

And if you paid for half the meal you have damaged his fragile male ego. But you paid for 49.99% or less then you have led him on and probably owe him sex Hmm

Seriously ! Who are these handmaids who are-all over Mn these days ?

Catastrophejane · 29/01/2022 16:24

Can’t believe there’s two of them! 😆

Though judging by these responses, there are thousands of Stus!

Suprima · 29/01/2022 16:28

Why do you care about this man’s feeling so much?

Just block him. Who cares.

For everyone saying it’s petty, OLD arseholes will text in 4 months looking for a shag when they are pissed talking about the ‘connection’ you had

Loopytiles · 29/01/2022 16:33

Yes, I’d block. The only reason I wouldn’t block him and would instead not contact him and ignore or say something anodyne if he contacts you would be fear of a negative reaction from him if blocked, if you fear he’s a possible threat to you/women, rather than ‘just’ unpleasant company.

I too loved the bit in your OP when you commented that he seemed like an arsehole to work with and he didn’t notice Grin

Sportslady44 · 29/01/2022 16:36

perhaps he was nervous. I wouldnt block him unless he becomes a nuisance to you.

Tywin · 12/11/2022 18:55

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Artygirlghost · 12/11/2022 19:08

Next time just end the date early. You should not have to listen to someone do a 2 hour monologue...

I would delete/block and not give him any further thought.

3peassuit · 12/11/2022 19:14

I think I once dated Stu’s Dad in the 70s.

SommerTen · 12/11/2022 19:28

Not another Zombie

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