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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Block after bad first date

68 replies

Hannah8514 · 26/01/2022 18:10

I went on a date with a guy last night and in addition to being the worst date I've ever been on, it might be up there in the top five worst interactions I've ever had with another human 😂

We started chatting about a week and a half ago; things were going well, we spoke on the phone, he said he liked me, flirting, etc. On Saturday night he was sending me odd texts which were a bit inappropriate but he was drunk so I thought whatever and gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Last night was our first date. From the moment I arrived until we parted ways (two pain-staking hours later), he spoke about himself. Told about his family, his gym schedule and his job. The job monologue dominated the majority of the evening; how he is doing multiple jobs, everyone relies on him, no one is nearly as good, blah blah blah. At one point I actually said he sounds like an asshole to work with but I think he was too consumed in his own story to even notice my comment.

The biggest annoyance for me in all of this is that throughout the entire evening he did not ask me even ONE question. Ok, he asked me what I want to drink but that's literally it (in hindsight I should have said several shots of tequila to endure this date!). I gave him lots of que's to ask me something by mentioning things I've done, family, etc., but not one did he pick up on, or just didn't care to ask.

My question is, AIBU to want to block this guy on WhatsApp or should I just leave it knowing that it's extremely unlikely we'll ever speak again, and if he does bother to message just ignore? I think it will annoy me even seeing his name pop up on my screen so I'm leaning towards block and forget.

Has anyone else ever had a date literally just speak about themselves for hours? How did you deal with it?

Thanks in advance! 😊

OP posts:

eleanorplease · 27/01/2022 03:05

Sounds very much like a guy I recently went on a date with.

Strong narcissistic vibes with a hint of sociopath.

(Your date wasn't called Mike, by any chance...?!?)

Original poster

Hannah8514 · 27/01/2022 08:35

@eleanorplease

Sounds very much like a guy I recently went on a date with.

Strong narcissistic vibes with a hint of sociopath.

(Your date wasn't called Mike, by any chance...?!?)

His name is Stu. Approach with caution 😂

Funny that so many of us have had the same experience. I wonder if men think we're going to find the arrogance attractive?! Such a turn-off!

OP posts:

Original poster

Hannah8514 · 27/01/2022 08:38

Update: I blocked and deleted him. May be petty/childish but I didn't like him being able to see my WhatsApp pic and I definitely didn't want to see his. He creeps me out. Let's hope I don't bump in to him in the street! 😂

OP posts:

FrancescaContini · 27/01/2022 08:39

Just block him. You don’t owe him anything.

FrancescaContini · 27/01/2022 08:40

Sorry!! Just read your update Well done!

SequinnedShawl · 27/01/2022 08:41

Has anyone else ever had a date literally just speak about themselves for hours? How did you deal with it?

Excused myself to go to the loo and went home.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 27/01/2022 08:44

Just block the knob without delay then forget he ever existed.

Suzanne999 · 27/01/2022 08:48

If you think he was more than a bit off then block him.
Otherwise ignore and if he contacts you you can say it was the worst date ever, there won’t be a second.

hangrylady · 27/01/2022 08:48

What a waste of make up. I wouldn't block at this stage I'd wait and if he asks you out again say no and tell him why. Then block.

Original poster

Hannah8514 · 27/01/2022 08:52

@hangrylady

What a waste of make up. I wouldn't block at this stage I'd wait and if he asks you out again say no and tell him why. Then block.

"What a waste of makeup" was literally my first thought leaving the date 😂

OP posts:

Tullig · 27/01/2022 08:53

Honestly, OP, I wouldn’t have thought twice about blocking him. I would, however, devote extensive thought to why you were prepared to sit there for two hours being monologued at.

Original poster

Hannah8514 · 27/01/2022 09:00

@Tullig

Honestly, OP, I wouldn’t have thought twice about blocking him. I would, however, devote extensive thought to why you were prepared to sit there for two hours being monologued at.

I'm very annoyed at myself for sitting there for so long to be honest. I didn't want to appear rude but if it happens again I will be out of there fast!

OP posts:

Toddlerteaplease · 27/01/2022 09:08

I had one. I made the mistake if a second date, in case it was nerves. It wasn't. When he mentioned extending his car parking I said I had to go! I wasn't to block him but people tell me that's mean! Luckily he's not been in contact since.

CourtRand · 27/01/2022 09:10

I'd let him know tbh. Just to emphasise how shit it was. Then I'd tell him I was deleting his number and block him

toastfiend · 27/01/2022 09:26

You don't need permission to block him, if you don't want contact with him again then it seems like a sensible course of action.

I don't know why posters are suggesting that he needs to have done something terrible in order you to have the right to block him. He sounds like a twat, you don't want to date him again, nor do you want him to contact you so the block button seems like a useful solution, you don't need to justify it beyond not wanting contact with him again.

goingtotown · 27/01/2022 09:27

It won't be the first time he's been blocked. Just do it.

HaggisBurger · 27/01/2022 09:32

@Hannah8514 first dates should be coffees only! No need then to stay longer than 30 minutes when it’s clear they are awful / no spark.

Women worry so much about appearing rude. These fckers that bang on endlessly about themselves, they don’t give a sht about being rude….

Glad you blocked.

slashlover · 27/01/2022 10:07

Arrogant, narcissistic and definite sociopath vibes.

Narcissist and sociopath? You've been on MN too long, those words get thrown around here as if they're meaningless.

Dontsayyouloveme · 27/01/2022 10:09

I’m sure the OP is well aware of the meaning of all of the words they’ve used!

TheDuchessOfMN · 27/01/2022 10:14

I don’t understand why you would block him. It’s a really shitty, hurtful thing to do. He won’t know why you’ve blocked him. Trust me, it bloody hurts.

If he asks, tell him you’d rather not see him again. If he continues to contact you or if he’s unpleasant, then block him.

LittleSnakes · 27/01/2022 10:17

I dated a guy who only talked about himself. Only a few dates. He wasn’t a narcissist or anything he was just so unbelievably boring. I couldn’t bear it. Had to nip it in the bud when he started asking if we were gonna go camping together.

PollyFlint · 27/01/2022 10:35

A lot of responses here saying it would be unfair or mean to block him are really underlining the way that women are conditioned to treat personal relationships.

Reading between the lines of your post, this wasn't just about him being boring - you clearly got bad vibes from him one way or another and felt uncomfortable in his company. You don't like him, and you don't want to speak to him again. He'd already sent you 'inappropriate' messages before the date and the date went badly, and your instinct is that you don't want any more contact with him. If you want to block him, you can block him. You barely know him; he isn't entitled to contact with you just because you went on one date.

namechangedforthisoneok · 27/01/2022 10:37

If he's so arrogant, I think I would have to tell him why you don't want any more contact!

billy1966 · 27/01/2022 10:46

Two hours!

Leaving after 30 minutes is perfectly acceptable IMO.

Original poster

Hannah8514 · 27/01/2022 10:57

@CourtRand

I'd let him know tbh. Just to emphasise how shit it was. Then I'd tell him I was deleting his number and block him

I did think about doing this but feel like I left it too long and it might look like I'm just saying it because he hadn't been in touch? In hindsight, that's what I should have done straight after the date.

OP posts:

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