DH won't/can't get up.

[Mulberr663]

DH is a very deep sleeper who sleeps through alarms and could probably sleep through an earthquake. He works 4 nights a week but always gets his 8 hours in before a shift. This is also a problem when he's off work.

It has become my job to wake him up, the problem is I have to go back in 3 or 4 times before he actually gets up. I wake him, he responds, then as soon as I leave the room he goes back to sleep.

When I return he's wrapped himself back up in the quilt and changed positions.

It's easy to say leave him to it and don't bother but not waking him would impact the rest of the family, me, and also his job.

I've just been to get him up three times for his dinner as requested after he's had his 8 hours sleep.

He's not working tonight so after cooking, cleaning and caring for three children all day including 3mo baby.. I want a bloody break myself.

[ChaToilLeam]

Honestly, he sounds like an arse. Expecting you to run round after him and get him up, like he’s a child, sulking at you, and refusing to do anything constructive about it. Where’s his respect for you?

I’d have one absolutely stone dead serious talk about it - one only - and that would include the information that I was not his servant and would be on ducking strike until he sorted himself out.

For a genuine medical issue I’d have more sympathy but as he won’t see the doctor, it’s on him until proven otherwise.

[ChaToilLeam]

Oh, and I meant fuckingstrike, not ducking, damn this prissy autocorrect.

[Beanybob]

My mum got sick of getting my layabout brother out of bed for work when he was living back at home, he would ignore alarms and shaking etc, so she went old-school by standing in his bedroom door banging a saucepan with a wooden spoon, refusing to stop until his was up. Effective, even if it did put him in a foul mood!

[Mulberr663]

Music blasting through a big speaker, loud, just outside the bedroom door. Still no movement.

Oh well his dinner is cold and soggy now. Reheated soggy vegetables, yummy.

[educatingrati]

Get an old fashioned alarm clock with a very loud bell, and put it in the furthest point away from the bed so he has no option but to get out of bed to turn it off!

[HikingforScenery]

Why don’t you send the children?!

[educatingrati]

If he sleeps that deeply any chance he's taking Drugs?

[Unicorndragon1421]

[quote Mulberr663]@Unicorndragon1421 are we with the same man?! DH is 35 too. God it's draining isn't it.

I feel conflicted like you, most of the time.

I understand nights are exhausting so I'm not unsympathetic, this just isn't ok.

Many manage to wake themselves for work.

Hell, I can wake to the baby if I'm running on 2-3 hours sleep.

I'm sorry you deal with the same.

Those who mentioned Alexa, good idea. We have one.[/quote]
I'm a really light sleeper so I will wake up to baby during the night I have to most of the time even when my partner is off work as he just doesn't wake up I've never known anyone to be this much of a heavy sleeper he can have his phone next to him with the alarm going off and it does nothing. It's really frustrating at times especially when you need to rely on him to get up. Even when he has just woken up it still takes him a good 30min or so to actually manage to anything as he's so groggy and moody where I'm the opposite once I'm up I will just crack on

[Nanny0gg]

@mbosnz

Have you got an Alexa? If so, put it on the other side of the room, from the bed, and get it to play 'Reveille' (the bugles call the Army used to use to get soldiers up of a morning) really rather loudly as an alarm.

Seriously, even I can't sleep through it. Or DH. Much to his annoyance.

Pointless. You shout at Alexa to shut it up

[WTF475878237NC]

He'd get a warning from work not immediately sacked for being late though surely? So that should teach him his lesson.

[Momijin]

I'm terrible at getting up but I do get up. Splash his face with water and remove the duvet. So what if he sulks. Tell him to grow up

[PenguindreamsofDraco]

Bellman alarm clock. No one can sleep through that. Vibrating pad under the pillow, flashing strobe light and increasingly loud up to ear splitting alarm.

[Pat123dev]

I'm sorry....but how many kids do you have. Tell him to take some bloody responsibility! You're just making him dependant on you. Tell him to grow a pair, either go the drs see if there's an issue...(probably lazy-itus) or get a friggin alarm.

[Staffy1]

Do you have a dog? An excited, licky dog is an excellent alarm clock.

[GrazingSheep]

@Pat123dev
The op has 3 children including a 3 month old baby. The lazy man also has a child with his ex.

[amitoooldforthisshit]

good god is he your husband or your child..next time just throw some cold water over him, and tell him this is his new alarm clock, needs to grow up ffs

[Garman]

What happens if you pull the duvet off him entirely, take it off the bed like?

[sunshineandrain82]

Is he on any medication at all?

I'm very similar to him. I'll sleep through 3 fire alarms, my children crying. I'm literally out cold. My partner tries to wake me multiple times. He says I stir, acknowledge then go back to sleep.
We tried stopping one of my medications as we started to suspect. Yes when I took away the particular one we were suspicious of I was no longer out cold. When I went back on it I slept for 48 hours straight and was back to square one.

[Mulberr663]

I've just put the big speaker on the bedside cabinet and blasted revielle as suggested up thread.

Cue him groaning and putting his hands over his ears and quilt over his head as he tried to ignore it.

Replayed twice until he finally rose from his pit looking unimpressed and asking me why I didn't just wake him earlier

[Mulberr663]

He's not on any medication at all no

[CharlotteRose90]

Working nights is an absolute killer and I was like a zombie on them. However I was also I heavy sleeper and nothing would wake me up. If I were you I would honestly throw a bucket of ice on him .

[Crystalvas]

Pull all the covers off him and open the blunds and windows. Then get the children to jump up and down on the bed.

[PinotPony]

The problem with Alexa is that he can just tell it to stop and go back to sleep.

I'd go into the room with an old fashioned bell alarm clock, turn it on ringing, place it across the room and walk out. Turning on the light switch as I went.

[neverdidnt]

DH used to be like this, and didn’t even have the excuse of working nights. I tried everything I could think of, but until I left him to it, things didn’t change. It only took a few days of being late for work/missing events he was looking forward to to break the habit.

[Tunnocks34]

How unattractive. Nothing worse than a man you have to baby.

Honestly if my husband couldn’t wake himself up to get to work on time I’d leave him.

No suggestions for you I’m afraid. I hope he stops being such a selfish arse and you get the break you deserve.