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DH work from home announcement
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fizzypop100 · 26/01/2022 14:56

I have told DH my feelings on him WFH. He's been at home last 2 years and I can't stand it any more. Said there needs to be some compromise, just one or two days a week in the office.
He's just been speaking to his team leader and asked to WFH for the foreseeable future. I have just told him he's being selfish. His answer was "my mental health". I told him it's affecting MY mental health.
This house is totally dominated by his work. He will not move his computer and desk out of the living room. School holidays are miserable as our teenage son can't do anything as dad is working in the living room.
I'm being an adult right now but can feel anger and tears building up.

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

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glassofbubbles25 · 26/01/2022 14:59

I was going to vote bu until you said he won’t move out the lounge. He works elsewhere but not in communal spaces

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Whingasaurus · 26/01/2022 15:00

Stop being quiet on the living room use it exactly as you would if he wasn't there. He's not considering you or he'd be in the bedroom where he can find peace and quiet to work.

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LemonViolet · 26/01/2022 15:02

Why won’t he move out of the living room?
Can you create other spaces at all for the rest of you if there are really valid reasons why the living room is the only place he can work?

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Aquamarine1029 · 26/01/2022 15:02

Him working out of the living room is totally unreasonable. Do you have an extra bedroom? If not, he will have to work out of yours.

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Notimeforaname · 26/01/2022 15:03

Yes agree with those above.

Unreasonable he's in the living room. He has to find an alternative or deal with you all coming and going, watching tv etc. Its the living room...its in the name.

Selfish man..

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Figmentofimagination · 26/01/2022 15:04

YANBU

Wfh is fine, as long he doesn't take up a communal area that impacts you being in the house.

My desk was originally in the lounge diner. It made it easier to care for my son and attempt to work during lockdowns. But once lockdowns eased and bubble isolations were scrapped, I moved my desk to the box room. I shut the door and stay out of the way. My husband and DS can have free range of the house when they are home, they don't have to worry about their tv or games or whatever impacting my work and I don't have to work about my phone calls or work focus time impacting on their home life.

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fizzypop100 · 26/01/2022 15:04

The spare room is packed full of his clutter

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Onthefloor2 · 26/01/2022 15:04

He needs to work upstairs in the bedroom like everyone else without an office (and who is sick of clearing up every evening so the family can use the dining table

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Notimeforaname · 26/01/2022 15:04

Is the kitchen table an option? Small desk in bedroom?

I certainly would not live with an office in my living room.

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Quartz2208 · 26/01/2022 15:04

I think you need to come up with a compromise that doesnt involve the living room.

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Gazelda · 26/01/2022 15:05

Are there other spaces he could work from - bedroom, second reception room etc?

Is he not prepared to compromise at all?

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Enough4me · 26/01/2022 15:05

Use the living room, watch TV, invite friends over, get a good friend drunk, spill something (water) but make a good fuss of moving furniture to clear up. Play loud music, definitely get your teenager and mates involved on multiple occasions. Party time!!

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DrSbaitso · 26/01/2022 15:05

@fizzypop100

The spare room is packed full of his clutter

Would he work there if it wasn't?

Is there a reason he can't clear that room and use it?
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Sartre · 26/01/2022 15:05

He needs to clear out the spare room then and turn it into an office. He shouldn’t be dominating the main room you use to relax in and he definitely shouldn’t expect you all to stay quiet while he works in that room.

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Notimeforaname · 26/01/2022 15:05

The spare room is packed full of his clutter
Ah ffs, he great isn't he.
He gets rid of it and moves to the spare room.

If he doesn't, throw it all out yourself. Has he always been this entitled ?

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Quartz2208 · 26/01/2022 15:06

Then he clears the spare room out?

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Aroundtheworldin80moves · 26/01/2022 15:06

He wants to WFH, he creates a proper office space not in communal area. Otherwise you are living in his office, not him working from home.

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BlowDryRat · 26/01/2022 15:06

If he wants to WFH then he needs to clear out the spare room and work from there. If he refuses then I would be throwing my toys out of the pram in a big way.

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DrSbaitso · 26/01/2022 15:06

@Enough4me

Use the living room, watch TV, invite friends over, get a good friend drunk, spill something (water) but make a good fuss of moving furniture to clear up. Play loud music, definitely get your teenager and mates involved on multiple occasions. Party time!!

And this as well, of course. It's a communal area.

What exactly is the danger to his mental health from office working? Presumably he worked in the office before?
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IncompleteSenten · 26/01/2022 15:06

Tell him fine but normal life resumes for you NOW.

Stop being silent in the living room.

Tell him you will use your home as normal and if he doesn't like it, he can work in a different room or go back to the office.

You need to stop tiptoeing round. Live your lives. Reclaim the living room.

Stop being so considerate of someone who refuses to consider you.

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Icecreamsprinkles · 26/01/2022 15:06

Yeah I would hate that too. I think if he is insisting on WFH he needs to decamp to a bedroom/ go back to the office as a minimum during school holidays . Ultimately your house is a family home first not an office there has to be some compromise

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MooSakah · 26/01/2022 15:06

Then you must all just carry on as if he isn't there making as much noise as you like. He has a spare room he is being a selfish lazy arse.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 26/01/2022 15:06

He does him, you do you.

Use the lounge, deadline him for the spare room and hire a skip when he doesn't clear it. Son can do whatever he wants in the lounge.

What an arse.

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Tal45 · 26/01/2022 15:07

Tell him you won't be quiet around him any more, if he wants to work quietly at home then he needs to clear his shit out the spare room and work in there. He is being completely unfair to monopolise half the house like this.

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Aquamarine1029 · 26/01/2022 15:07

@fizzypop100

The spare room is packed full of his clutter

Then you clear it. Confused
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