To think this is a little cruel towards the children (party invite)

[Curlychips88]

If a parent has a party for their 2 year old child, invites most of their class, gives out the invites during nursery (out of a group of approx 12) but doesn't invite certain ones?
If it's related to budget or COVID I understand, but just seems a little cruel, even though I'm not sure children of this age will pick up on it.

I'm not sure a class of nearly 2 year olds and just turned 2 year olds will particularly pick up on it.

And what constitutes "most"? If it's 10 out of 12, that's pretty mean; although it might be a venue constraint.

I have a 2 year old and think this is fine. She has very little concept of a party (ie that it’s different for soft play, play date etc), let alone an invitation. They’re not really “friends friends” at that age.

I am dubious about a 2 year old handing out invitations to part of the class themselves too, surely these were left with nursery staff and they handed them out?

I'm sure that it will be the mother who is bothered. The child won't give two hoots . The children won't even know that a party is something to get excited about , as they are probably too young to remember the last one they went to. They only think it's exciting because their mum gets excited telling them about it . If the uninvited child's mum stays calm then the child won't be bothered, the child won't know he's missing out .

I don’t think 2 year olds will notice.

Presumably the parents invited the parents of children they know, especially if it’s in their house. It’s not like when they’re older and you drop and go.

It’s upsetting but it will happen throughout their lives and it’s a good lesson in being resilient. They will follow your lead- cheerfully tell them “never mind, there will be another time then make sure they have fun on the party day.”

Teach them it’s good to have friends and how to treat them well, it’s also OK to play on your own sometimes and encourage them into creative play, and to keep themselves entertained. Of course you want your pride and joy invited to everything but if you react this way, they will notice and get more upset. Long term this isn’t good for them. Very often at that age, parents invite their mum friends and their kids, so do be friendly yourself.

Not sure how a parent can give out the invites during nursery, surely they wouldn't have handed them direct to the children who wouldn't really know what they were at that age and would likely lose them, or do you mean they were handed to parents?

It’s not ok to invite all the kids except one. But to invite some or most is usual.

A two year old doesn’t have friends, the mum will have picked the kids of mums she knows or would like to know

This is the second party invite thread that I've read today complaining that not everyone has been invited.
It's not cruel, disappointing maybe, but not cruel. There are a variety of reasons why a child might not be invited. Just do something nice together at the time of the party if you're really concerned, but your child will probably forget about the party anyway.

DD is 3 next month and we are only inviting the nursery kids she actually talks about at home. I gave invitations to nursery to put into bags. Maybe that's a faux pas but I don't really see the point in kids that she doesn't really spend time with or think about outside or nursery coming 🤷‍♀️ Or the point in paying for it when she told me what friends she wanted to come.

At 2, none of them will care anyway, surely? I'm sure there have been parties that DD hasn't been invited to.

Less than half or all is the guidelines for school party invites.
You are right, the kids probably won't notice at that age - but it looks like the parents have.

I think it depends.

Essentially if it seems like there are a few people who are being picked out as not wanted, whereas almost everyone else is, it's probably not appropriate to be passing them out at that time. Same as at a work thing - if you invite all the people in your office but one or two it is difficult to make it look like anything but a deliberate exclusion.

Two or three year olds don't care, but it is possible it could be picked up on by the parents. I'd tend to avoid the situation by giving them out in a different place.

2yo dd wouldn't have a clue that she wasn't invited. I took her to her nursery Christmas party and I don't think she even registered that the people she was with were the ones she goes to nursery with

But it is important for kids in general to realize that not everyone will get invited to all things, and that is ok.

I think this is something you have to get used to really. It’s pretty standard in most schools to hand out party invitations in the playground, as that’s the only time in a lot of cases where you’re able to catch all of the parents. It can be disappointing but it’s not cruel to not be invited

2yo won't notice.

If parents do a whole song and dance of handing invites publicly to a select group at this age it's about them wanting to assert themselves rather than anything else.

We had an odd few who liked to make it known another odd few weren't good enough.

Of course none of us cared - we hated her! We much preferred meeting at the weekend in the park for coffee rather than needing to spend days worrying about what we wore to her kids party to meet her very specific expectations that never got said beforehand just in backhanded comments at the time.

Of course - I could be projecting

But no. I don't think if in a group situation you are inviting all but a few you should be so obviously in it. It can be done subtly if you choose.

I’ll also point out at that age it’s the parents choosing the guests rather than the kids. If you’re approachable and chat to the other parents then they’re more likely to keep you in mind

2 year olds won't know or care.

Not another party thread, child is 2 as if they would notice.

2 year olds won't have a clue what's going on or care.

This happened to my DS but he was 4. He was the only one without invite out of a class if 20. At the time I put it down to him only attending 3 out of 5 days however he was there on invite handout day. I asked him if he had mislaid the invite and he said holding back tears, " no its OK mummy I just won't go". I felt so sorry for him but that was that. Six months later once they were at reception DS and party child became thick as theives and playdates commenced- talking to party child's mum she hadn't realised she has missed DS off but saying that he was dead shy so maybe just unnoticed! Poor party mum felt very guilty and said I should have asked at the time, but no way would I have!

What a waste of time and money for a 2 year old!

No they won’t notice.

Op are you annoyed because you really wanted to go to a toddlers party?

Depends on the 'certain ones'

I can remember myself and a few others boycotting a party held by a woman who'd invited two full classes......well two full classes apart from the SN kids. ((smallish class sizes with i think it was four SN children between the two)) it was a church hall type affair so no reason not to.

So if its something like that then it's scummy.

But if it's something like an activity with limited numbers then they've probably just invited the kids they recognise the most.