To think this is a little cruel towards the children (party invite)

[Curlychips88]

If a parent has a party for their 2 year old child, invites most of their class, gives out the invites during nursery (out of a group of approx 12) but doesn't invite certain ones?
If it's related to budget or COVID I understand, but just seems a little cruel, even though I'm not sure children of this age will pick up on it.

They're 2!

2 is far too young to understand or care.

My rule has always been invite less than Hall or all of them… I’ve always done less than half.

2 year olds won't notice.

Were they not put directly into their bags? That's what we used to do when I worked in a nursery because they'd be lost otherwise.

Depends what the big reveal is

They're 2 . Why would they give a shit?

Lots of venues here have tight number limits because of covid and prices have gone through the roof.
At 2 it wouldn’t bother me or my child unless it was someone they considered to be their ‘best friend’.

This happened to me too .... (my daughter is now 33), when she was at primary school the whole of her class was invited to a party and she wasn't. Part of me thought that she probably had been invited and had just lost the invitation but I searched her school bag and there was no invitation. I couldn't think of a way to ask the party mum so I said nothing but 25 years on I still hold a grudge and am sulking. My daughter on the other hand is a happy, popular, sociable and well adjusted adult!

Not in the UK, but I work in a nursery and you can’t hand out invites. For a hood reason. And also, never heard about a 2-year old having a party for friends..they are too young.

Am I the only one who’d be thrilled not to be invited?!

@onegreyhair

This happened to me too .... (my daughter is now 33), when she was at primary school the whole of her class was invited to a party and she wasn't. Part of me thought that she probably had been invited and had just lost the invitation but I searched her school bag and there was no invitation. I couldn't think of a way to ask the party mum so I said nothing but 25 years on I still hold a grudge and am sulking. My daughter on the other hand is a happy, popular, sociable and well adjusted adult!

You should have asked her. But extremely likely the invite just disappeared somehow.

Two year olds couldn’t care less and will be oblivious to the situation, unless a big deal is made out of it.

A 2-year old won't even know what's going on. Sounds like it's your issue to be honest... they may be loads of reasons why no invitation. Don't overthink it. Definitely don't hold onto it as a grudge for 25 years!

How many of the 12 were/ weren't invited.

At that age they won't have a clue. My almost 5 year old is mostly oblivious. Two of my 7 year old's best friends went to a party this weekend, she wasn't invited and she wasn't bothered as she doesn't play with the party girl. She is invited to a party soon that some of her other friends are not.

It's bloody expensive to invite them all.

2 year olds don’t care , parents might though but does it matter . Who has a party with a load of 2 year olds anyway sounds a nightmare.

I did this unintentionally 4 years ago trying to invite the whole school year. The school wouldn't give me a list due to GDPR and I was relying on a 5 year old to name everyone. Yep I felt bad months later when I discovered a few folks we missed.

Also it might be that there are 12 kids there on a certain day, and others attend on different days, so in reality a lot more than 12. My kids were full time at nursery and I knew about 10 kids well enough to invite to a party (honestly I knew their parents and liked them enough to invite them to a party). Overall there were about 30 kids in his class throughout the week who attended different days. So unless ALL the children attend on exactly the same days then YABU.

I can understand why you might feel a bit put out/upset but don’t worry your 2 year old won’t have a clue.

This is just the start OP. At the weekend I took my DD to a classmates 6th birthday party and learnt by chance whilst chatting to other mums at that most of the class have been invited to another little girls party but not my DD. Other parties were also mentioned and it dawned on me that my DD only gets invited to whole class parties. I’ve felt sad about it ever since. My DD is sensitive and has really struggled to settle in to school.

once they are old enough to notice, the unwritten rule seems to be less than half or all.
Works well. especially as often itis just one gender, ie all the girls, so less that half the girls, or all the girls.

That way kids don't feel left out.

I think you might need to develop a thicker skin, OP, and pass it on to your child. You're in for a long and bumpy ride otherwise. Sometimes your children are invited, and sometimes they're not. That's life. Everyone moves on.

It is the parent's choice to invite who they want for whatever reason.

Really not an issue for 2 year olds who wouldn’t pick up on it (unless your child is VERY advanced for their age). It seems to herald about ten years of similar competitive parenting/ playground politics though. I would be warned there will be LOTS of this to come, best advice is to try not to take anything playground related too personally and same for your children too. It’s kind of like a workplace - not everyone will be best mates, as much as we would like to arrange that.

Mine would never have had any parties in primary if it had been compulsory to pay for twelve children. Six was my absolute limit and at times, it had to be five - except once when I'd worked really hard and scraped together enough money to do a soft play party for the entire class. 24 didn't turn up on the day because they'd had a better offer on the Friday afternoon in the playground whilst I was still at work trying to pay for cakes, sweets and party bags for them.

@NeverDropYourMooncup that's terrible. Did 24 just not turn up?