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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No is a complete sentence

90 replies

MintyGreenDream · 25/01/2022 15:49

Except I haven't said no I've said yes ok and that is the problem.
School mum friend has taken on extra hours so instead of finishing work at 12pm she's finishing at 4.30pm.Shes asked if I'll pick her dd up and drop her to her place of work nearby every third Tuesday.
Realised i haven't got a car seat for her and it's illegal unless child is 12 yrs or 135cms or over.
Am I being a cow for not wanting to commit to this or should I suck it up as its only every 3 weeks?

OP posts:
mycatisannoying · 26/01/2022 07:30

Every third Tuesday for a friend?
I can't seriously believe you'd have a problem with this Confused
YABU.

wolfstarling · 26/01/2022 07:33

I think I would find it hard to remember every third Tuesday and what happens if you DC wants to start a club? I wouldn't do this I would day I'm sorry I can't commit to this regularly.

FabriqueBelgique · 26/01/2022 07:35

Unless you’re close friends I would not agree to this! Only because I can see 5 steps ahead where you’re late or Ill and she gets pissed off with you and then you resent doing it.

londonrach · 26/01/2022 07:37

Just say no. Why people going on about the seat. Of course you don't take her without a seat but the main issue is do you want to do this On a regular basis unpaid. If it's a no it's a no

wolfstarling · 26/01/2022 07:38

I also think she is incredibly rude and I would not have a problem with just texting her back and saying, no, I can't do it after all.

spotcheck · 26/01/2022 07:39

@MintyGreenDream

No car seat available just asked
Well, then she has to get you one
girlmom21 · 26/01/2022 07:43

Just tell her you're not comfortable taking responsibility for her child's safety and well-being and therefore won't be able to help.

comfortablyfrumpy · 26/01/2022 07:55

If she can't provide a car seat, you can't do it. Simples.

Dreambigger · 26/01/2022 08:01

No. For someone else I would oblige but she sounds really cheeky and once you do this it will be something else ........and something else and it will be hard to say no .....just say no now !

whysonasty · 26/01/2022 08:23

Awkward, OP. I'd feel put on the spot too. It may only be every three weeks but perhaps she could have checked with you first. It may be that once you do it once or twice she ups the days.

That's happened with me before, long time back with a workmate who wanted a lift home after every shift. In the beginning she asked once or twice so I had no problem with that, but soon came to expect it after every single shift. I was a poor student at the time so having to drive out of my way after a long day, often after a long wait for her to finish, was no small thing. I said no one day as I had somewhere to go straight after work and she absolutely cracked it at me. The cheek of it. Never drove her again.

I'd be a bit careful you don't get sucked into more and more favours.

Porcupineintherough · 26/01/2022 08:28

Is it you dont want to do it, or you dont want to do it without a car seat? Fgs dont tell her she needs to get a car seat if you just dont actually want to do it.

Curiousmouse · 26/01/2022 10:01

Just say you've thought it over some more and that you agreed before you really thought about it, and you have realised now that you can't commit to it.

Curiousmouse · 26/01/2022 10:01

And don't offer explanations

RoomOfRequirement · 26/01/2022 10:23

1 day every 3 weeks? For a friend? Quibbling over possibly 5cms?

Don't do it if you don't want to but the excuses are not real.

Ginger1982 · 26/01/2022 10:47

The car seat issue is secondary. You clearly don't want to do it. It's only every third Tuesday though. How much of an impact will it really have on you? Is it far away?

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