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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that DHs family might vist given that he is not too well?

26 replies

onlyjoking9329 · 28/12/2007 21:07

Steves niece has come over and is staying 10 miles away at her grans, she has been there for a few days, she phoned to say hello but has not been over to vist as she has been busy going to the sales and out for lunch

OP posts:
LuckyStarOfBethSalem · 28/12/2007 21:09

That's abit mean, surely they can come and visit and THEN do shopping?

fireflyfairy2 · 28/12/2007 21:11

Do you think they may be in the position of not knowing what to say/do?

I know that in no way excuses them, but it might explain why they've not visited yet.

lucy5 · 28/12/2007 21:11

There's nowt so queer as folk!

WanderingHolly · 28/12/2007 21:12

It totally sucks, but lots of people aren't brave enough to visit a relative as ill as Steve. You can refer to these people as pathetic self absorbed wimps sadly lacking in empathy, and shoot pity them.

In your neice's case, maybe she doesn't realise just how ill he is right now?

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 28/12/2007 21:13

i am angry that she will be going back home tomorrow but hasn't been to see steve.
i am sure she would be fine with him we saw her a couple of months back thou we had to go to her.

OP posts:
kerryk · 28/12/2007 21:16

how ill is he?

kerryk · 28/12/2007 21:17

fk oj just looked at your profile.

can see why you would be really pissed of.

fireflyfairy2 · 28/12/2007 21:17

OJ

Has she said she won't visit? What age of a girl is she?

WanderingHolly · 28/12/2007 21:17

kerry, is has a brain tumour and ms.

He is very, very ill.

yurt1 · 28/12/2007 21:17

oh dear Steve's family have been a bit useless all round since his illness began haven't they? Is his mother any better now?

WanderingHolly · 28/12/2007 21:18

is? Steve!

Can you go and collect her?

LuckyStarOfBethSalem · 28/12/2007 21:19

OJ - I think you should ring her and find out when not if she is coming tomorrow!

kindersurprise · 28/12/2007 21:20

Very selfish of her. Even if it is "difficult" for her, it is is a hell of a lot more difficult for you and she should be supporting you. That is what family is for.

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 28/12/2007 21:23

steve will have forgotten that she was over this way, she is in her 20s.
his mum is no better to be honest, steve was in hospital til christmas eve, she couldn't vist one day as she had a hair appt and another day cos she was out for lunch
still at least she hasn't asked him to go and see her parent again at the crem

OP posts:
yurt1 · 28/12/2007 21:27

oh god OJ. She needs - god I don't know nutting or something.

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 28/12/2007 21:29

still at least her hair looks nice
i have had to cancel my last 2 hair appts

OP posts:
WanderingHolly · 28/12/2007 21:30

I feel I was a little harsh with my earlier comments.

It is incedibly hard to see someone you love very ill, but it's one of those things that you should do anyway (and I very rarely say 'should')

His neice and mum are indulging in denial.

Unfortunately, they are also pissing off you and Steve, of which one hopes they are unaware....

I think the best thing to do is phone your neice and ask when she's coming over.

Am I a bad person to hope you MIL had a bad lunch and a worse haircut?

WanderingHolly · 28/12/2007 21:32

X posts about the hair.

Ask MIL to sit with Steve whilst you get your hair cut - when you ask, make sure to say "Where was it you went, y'know, when Steve was in hospital?"

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 28/12/2007 21:33

you were not harsh.
neice is traveling back home very early in the morning so i know she won't vist.
i must be a bad person too

OP posts:
Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 28/12/2007 21:36

she only ever comes over when it suits her, and then only stays for an hour i have told her steve is best in the mornings but she still expected us to go over and see her at 3pm christmas day we didn't go

OP posts:
yurt1 · 28/12/2007 21:51

good for you!

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 28/12/2007 21:53

how did christmas go for you yurt, i haven't seen you on the other place.

OP posts:
yurt1 · 28/12/2007 21:58

erm dreadful(ish), but I'm not going to moan to you! I have over 1000 unread emails from the other place....... I sense a mass delete coming up.....

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 28/12/2007 22:07

oh i am always having to mass delete, don't worry

OP posts:
yurt1 · 28/12/2007 22:09

I tend to skim read then delete.....

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