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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hen weekend…Who should pay?

73 replies

GlassHalfFull10 · 24/01/2022 22:19

Hen weekend in Lisbon booked for 2020 (4 of us going). All postponed to July this year. If we’d moved the exact dates/weekend the price would be the same. One of the hens needed to move the weekend and now it’s gone up by £250.

Should we sink it into the kitty or should she pay?

YABU: sink into kitty
YANBU: she pays

OP posts:
Motheranddaughtertotwo · 24/01/2022 22:20

YABU only because if the agreement was to go when all of you could then you should all split the cost.

Yoyokitten · 24/01/2022 22:24

Is that £250 each, or between you? It would make a difference which one I think.
It might have been unintentional on her part, but that's not your fault either. I think I would feel a bit annoyed about it to be honest. Good luck

Accidentgirlfriend · 24/01/2022 22:24

If there’s only a few of you it might be quite a bit but if there is 10 of you it’s 25 each which isn’t a lot so depends how many people are going .

Yoyokitten · 24/01/2022 22:26

4 people going so £62 extra each, by the sounds of it.

RosesAndHellebores · 24/01/2022 22:27

£250 each or overall?

Xmasbaby11 · 24/01/2022 22:27

Yabu

Think between 4 it's not extortionate and just bad luck - prices have gone up a lot in 2 years.

Amicompletelyinsane · 24/01/2022 22:28

I kind of feel its not her fault though and it could have been any of you needing to move it due to the delay. If she had insisted on moving it originally I'd be annoyed but as its been delayed and she can't do the exact week I think it's just one of those things and split the cost. She couldn't have forseen a 2 year delay

Original poster
GlassHalfFull10 · 24/01/2022 22:29

Yes £62 each.

Thanks all.

I know if it was me I’d have offered to pay it so I guess it’s more the point of it…

OP posts:
Gooseberrypies · 24/01/2022 22:31

I’d ask her to pay if everyone else could make the original week. If she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t have to go, and you can change it back to the original week.

UrsulaBursula · 24/01/2022 22:31

Do you really expect her to pay an extra £250 for everyone?

If I was asked to pay an extra £250 to join my friends hen weekend as it clashed with other plans another weekend, I don’t think I would bother going.

WorriedGiraffe · 24/01/2022 22:33

You’ve had 2 years to save up the extra £62 each, I don’t think she should have to pay, it’s not like it’s her fault the original date got postponed, and she couldn’t have foreseen when the original booking was made what would happen.

Original poster
GlassHalfFull10 · 24/01/2022 22:35

Ursula, I’m really not sure that’s why I’m asking.

My name has changed in the last two years and I have to pay for that change £125.

Everyone else could do the original dates.

It’s not my hen btw :-)

OP posts:
maddy68 · 24/01/2022 22:38

You split the cost. That was the arrangement

CaptainMerica · 24/01/2022 22:39

YABU. The original date was cancelled, this is a new year, and new choice of dates. It's not her fault she can't make the cheaper one. You would probably be more than £63 out of pocket if she just pulled out.

Xmasishere10 · 24/01/2022 22:40

Going against the trend here but YANBU.

If you do the same time but she doesn’t go, is it the same price? If so I think she should either pay or offer to not go.

MiddleClassProblem · 24/01/2022 22:44

You changing your own name isn’t really comparable with the dates being forced to change and her not being available then.

As it’s such a small group, I’d assume you’d all want to be together and are tight knit. But shit to leave someone out ye to the date change. Why wouldn’t you just pay extra to spend time with a close friend?

MiddleClassProblem · 24/01/2022 22:44

I should add if you can afford it

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 24/01/2022 22:48

I think it should be split. The original weekend was cancelled, so it's not being moved to the 'exact same weekend'. If the weekend is cancelled then it gets moved to an alternative weekend that's convenient for everyone, so if the dates for 2020+ 1 year arent convenient for everyone then it's not really fair to make one person pay based on the fact that a random date a few weeks / months earlier was cheaper.

Original poster
GlassHalfFull10 · 24/01/2022 22:51

All very helpful. Thank you!

We are all close so wouldn’t go without her.

Seems like we will just suck it up. It’s quite a lot of money for me and I’ve been saving, not much for her. Esp as I have to pay the name change cost too.

OP posts:
Returnoftheowl · 24/01/2022 23:12

It's not her fault the original date was postponed. It's a shame is gone up, but she agreed to a specific date in 2020, she didn't postpone the trip personally.

Kite22 · 24/01/2022 23:18

I think if it were someone being awkward and expecting the world to revolve around them in normal times then YWNBU, but, this is clearly a close, tight knot group if only 4 of you are going, and I think you're lucky that it is only £62 more if I'm honest, with everything that has gone up. Presumably it is only the £62 you have got to find now? In truth I'd suck it up and be pleased that 2 years on you can still find a time and place you can all go together.

DrManhattan · 25/01/2022 07:50

If it was me making the change I would offer to pay. I wouldn't assume everyone would be happy to just suck it up.

Original poster
GlassHalfFull10 · 25/01/2022 10:47

I absolutely would too DrManhatten!

I always find myself paying more not to appear tight 😂 hence me posting anonymously for this one on Mumsnet!

OP posts:
CynsterBitch · 25/01/2022 10:52

You should definitely split the costs, just because a weekend in 2020 worked for everyone doesn’t mean the corresponding weekend in 2022 will, it’s No one’s fault and should certainly not be blamed on your one friend

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 25/01/2022 10:54

Why do you have to pay £125?