To be irritated by this wedding invite?

[JukEki]

We have been invited to two child free weddings, both in June. We are going to attend both and are pulling in favours for childcare. However I can’t pretend that I’m not mildly irritated by the wording in one of the invites!

One invite said “Unfortunately bearing in mind we have limited guest numbers we cannot accommodate everyone’s children however this is a golden opportunity for parents to enjoy a night of relaxation and uninhibited revelry!”

The second simply said ‘ Whilst we love your children please note this is an adult only occasion’

The first annoyed me as actually it’s not going to be relaxing for me in the slightest, it’s quite inconvenient and expensive to not be able to bring the children and I’m more likely to be hand expressing in the toilets than dancing on a table.
It is absolutely the couple’s prerogative to have the wedding they want including making a decision to have no children- just own it and say so instead of dancing around it and pretending it’s a night off for me.

Happy to be told I’m unreasonable- first also contained a money poem which may be biasing me 😂

[Ivyonafence]

I agree with you. I hate it when they try to pass it off as doing the guests a favour. It's a nuisance and an expense sorting childcare.

I think the second wording is much better.

I'm all for child free weddings, but as you say, just be frank about and don't dress it up as a favour

[RoseGoldEagle]

I know what you mean, I’ve felt the same about it being more hassle not to be able to take the kids, but I think wording these things can be difficult and they were probably trying to put a positive spin on it. I think the second one sounds a bit stern! I wouldn’t really give it any headspace! How old will your baby be then? (Is a ‘babe in arms’ acceptable to take? I guess they can still scream during a ceremony so maybe not!)

[merrymouse]

Not unreasonable at all, and yes the appropriate response is ‘irritated’.

They are trying to put a positive spin on their decision, but it comes across as patronising. It’s also the babysitter that is allowing you to be child free for a night, not the wedding.

However, it sounds as though it is well meant and they just haven’t had the opportunity to know what they are talking about.

It’s also one of those things people say at this kind of event when they have young children “oh it’s great to have a night off”. It’s true, and it’s a polite thing to say, but it glosses over the effort involved. They have probably heard this before and taken it completely at face value.

[stayathomer]

I think the first only looks annoying because the second is so well worded! Do they have children themselves? I find people without children can sometimes assume that kids are the bain of our existence and we'd kill for time without them!!

[AdriannaP]

Agree with you. For us, we like to spend weekends with our children, have no local childcare and I would pass on the “golden opportunity” to pay £80 for childcare to attend someone’s wedding. I am from a country where I have never heard of or been to a childfree wedding. Children are accepted as part of life and families.

[DockOTheBay]

"uninhibited revelry"
I reckon they've got that off a website suggesting ways to phrase an adults only wedding. Nobody talks like that.

[BadLad]

Happy to be told I’m unreasonable- first also contained a money poem which may be biasing me

Brilliant. Let's hear the poem.

[DoTheMerengue]

Have to say I disagree and wouldn’t be offended by either. I’m also completely on board with child-free weddings.

The money poem is bollocks though. We didn’t say anything about gifts and when people asked we said we didn’t want anything. Newly everyone just gave us cash anyway.

[DoTheMerengue]

Nearly* not newly

[AffIt]

Yeah, I agree.

We don't have kids by choice, and if the Manpanion and I ever get round to getting married (after nigh-on 20 years), we will have a childfree-wedding.

However, I absolutely promise that I will not be using twee wordery like Example 1 or be in the slightest bit offended if parents say 'nah, you're good, thanks'.

[BadLad]

@AffIt

Yeah, I agree.

We don't have kids by choice, and if the Manpanion and I ever get round to getting married (after nigh-on 20 years), we will have a childfree-wedding.

However, I absolutely promise that I will not be using twee wordery like Example 1 or be in the slightest bit offended if parents say 'nah, you're good, thanks'.

[Mothership4two]

Wording wouldn't bother me in the least. Maybe tongue in cheek? Assume they are childless. The hassle of going to a child free wedding would, and has, bothered me more. Fine if it is close by, but when it means travelling long distances and staying overnight, it's a pain in the bum. We ended up just not going when ours were little and just sent a card and present. I have had a few friends express regret afterwards (and one apology) when they had kids of their own and they all basically say the same thing "we just didn't realise the difficulties and what was involved!"

[JukEki]

@BadLad

Our life together has already begun,
We have almost everything under the sun.
If you should wish to buy us a gift,
A little extra money would give us a lift.
But most importantly, we request,
You share our day as our wedding guest.
Now that we’ve saved you any fuss,
We can’t wait for you to celebrate with us!

[BadLad]

[quote JukEki]@BadLad

Our life together has already begun,
We have almost everything under the sun.
If you should wish to buy us a gift,
A little extra money would give us a lift.
But most importantly, we request,
You share our day as our wedding guest.
Now that we’ve saved you any fuss,
We can’t wait for you to celebrate with us![/quote]
Thanks.

I've heard worse.

[thedefinitionofmadness]

now that we've saved you any fuss

[custardbear]

A friend of mine did this too, I was meant to be a bridesmaid but had no childcare and DH was working so he could only make the evening. I ended up just being an evening guest alone, turned down bridesmaid as I couldn't find anyone to help. It was fine, I drove, showed up and did my bit

[StrangerThanSpring]

@thedefinitionofmadness

now that we've saved you any fuss

Yeah, I noticed that line as well.

Red flags waving all over with this wedding. My guess is it will be one of those affairs where the wedding party spend hours having a nice wedding breakfast while the guests are left milling around in the middle of nowhere with nothing to eat and nothing to do and expected to feel grateful for the privilege.

[truthfullylying]

The thing with adult-only weddings is it gives you the perfect excuse not to go, so if it'll be a hassle then you can just decline.

[Bussinbussin]

The child free bit doesn't bother me but the poem is shite.

[bonetiredwithtwins]

Seems Like every wedding these days is childfree does anyone actually invite kids anymore?!

[TheLovleyChebbyMcGee]

I agree. I get that they don't want kids there, but don't pretend its not a pain in the arse.

Weve been invited to a wedding in a few weeks, Ds2 will be 12 weeks and isn't invited, so DH us staying home with him and our older toddler and I'm going to the ceremony, the meal, popping home to feed him, then back for the evening do for as long as I can hold off, probably about 9pm at the very latest. I'll have to express in the bathroom in that time too.

I'm regretting accepting the invitation now tbh!

[AffIt]

[quote JukEki]@BadLad

Our life together has already begun,
We have almost everything under the sun.
If you should wish to buy us a gift,
A little extra money would give us a lift.
But most importantly, we request,
You share our day as our wedding guest.
Now that we’ve saved you any fuss,
We can’t wait for you to celebrate with us![/quote]
Urgh.

It doesn't even scan.

[Monty27]

Is it too far to travel for the daytime bit and get back home @OP

[halloweenie13]

I completely agree with you, when I get married I want every family and friend to feel included, I would happily help the parents fund and find a baby sitter for the night to enjoy themselves as much as they can within a room provided by ourselves. As for the dinner and the ceremony I couldn't give a damn about children interrupting, that is a part of life, you can't control everything and it's better to go with the flow. The invites are just rude why not just word it as 'in our personal opinion we don't want children there as the events for the evening will be quite adult themed and we don't want unexpected noises disrupting the event' but like I said if you are going to expect the parents to not bring their children at least offer any support in accommodating them at the hotel etc if they are that important to be invited to the wedding.

[Fletchersromancing]

I have 3 children but love a child free wedding and wouldn't bother me at all.