...to find living with a newly-minted coffee snob a pain?

[MitheredAndFrazzled]

The freezer is full of little foil packets of coffee beans (varying caffeine levels, roasting temperatures, countries of origin), there's a set of super-accurate scales, a deconstructed mini-grinder and Aeropress on the table, partially ground beans have shot off all over the kitchen side and floor...

Earlier he was putting a thermometer in the kettle. And then when it's finally poured into the Aeropress (from a Pyrex jug), he sets a timer. I think he drinks it faster than he makes it!

I usually use a cafetière, but I'm suddenly tempted to plonk a jar of Nescafé on the side in protest.

Hmm.
I have a sourdough starter in the fridge and 4 different artisan coffees. OK. Maybe Cafe Direct Macchu Picchu isn't properly artisan, so maybe 3 artisan coffees? I also have M&S Italian Roast instant for when I just want a quick coffee.
I'm not sure I'm a proper coffee snob, but I do a good impression of a coffee snob when someone suggests that anyone using pods is a coffee snob.

@cherryblossoms85 precisely! I wanted to be polite, but I feared soaring anxiety, racing heart and a sleepless night. I am quite caffeine sensitive.

Like several of you, James Hoffman is to blame! Did he just spring up out of nowhere as some sort of marketing ploy to sell tiny scales and kettle thermometers?

I don't think I've ever had a cup from the Aeropress actually, I presumed it only made one cup. I drink hot blackcurrant first thing, and then making a coffee takes him so long I think he usually has to rush back for a meeting or to get on with some work! Leaving me to wipe down the kitchen side. I'll ask for one though, maybe I'll be converted and come back saying we need a variable temperature kettle.

I was offered the coffee grounds to make a body scrub though.

@longtompot

My dh uses a French press (aka cafetière) but watched a programme where some coffee expert said you should use x grams of freshly ground coffee with x ml of just off boiled water and time it for x mins before pushing the plunger. Thankfully he is just timing the brewing time before pushing the plunger.

This is some real Hoffman stuff 😂

When my other half started talking about ‘scooping the crust’ off the top of the cafetière mixture.. that’s when I lost it 🤦🏻‍♀️

I think that's the guy! It would have been on Saturday Kitchen I imagine as he doesn't watch any cookery shows with me and only sees that one as it's on when we have breakfast.
Surely the 'crust' is the ground coffee @TheLadyGrayson and removing it you are in fact removing the very thing that is flavouring the drink?!

This is my adult DS (who is living back at home at the moment) too. Although his latest obsession is speciality tea. If I make a cup of tea I chuck a tea bag in a cup and pour boiling water over it. Watching DS make his tea is painful. It involves weighing out the tea leaves, warming the pot, getting the water temperature correct, setting the timer for precise brewing time, and straining the tea - then buggering off back to his room leaving stray tea leaves and water all over the worktop.
He has a cupboard full of various coffee making gadgets which he has been enthusiastic about in the past but which currently lie idle as he uses a cafetiere but with precise water temperature and brewing times!

DH, I'm pleased to say, has finally chucked out his sourdough starter after 2 years of caring for it as he's decided life is too short for that faff!

@cookiemonster2468

First world problems!

Seems like a small thing to get annoyed about. He's happy, preumably you love him, let him enjoy it.

Have you ever actually lived through a man and his latest obsession?

You are either uber chilled and laid back or your man (if you have one) doesn't have the obsessive gene. If it's the first I take my hat off to you. If it's the second then please don't belittle the pain.....

[quote Mumdiva99]@TeaSoakedDisasterMagnet so basically you've spent a fortune and then told him he has to find a new 'hobby' - which he will then need to start buying all the stuff for.

Oh well at least you jow have hassle free good coffee when you want it.[/quote]
Eh? No. He asked for a fancy coffee machine and I said as long as he stops buying all other coffee pots then I was happy for him to. He’s still into his coffee stuff, it’s all about finding the beans now rather than the perfect coffee pot.

@bigbluebus

This is my adult DS (who is living back at home at the moment) too. Although his latest obsession is speciality tea. If I make a cup of tea I chuck a tea bag in a cup and pour boiling water over it. Watching DS make his tea is painful. It involves weighing out the tea leaves, warming the pot, getting the water temperature correct, setting the timer for precise brewing time, and straining the tea - then buggering off back to his room leaving stray tea leaves and water all over the worktop. He has a cupboard full of various coffee making gadgets which he has been enthusiastic about in the past but which currently lie idle as he uses a cafetiere but with precise water temperature and brewing times!

DH, I'm pleased to say, has finally chucked out his sourdough starter after 2 years of caring for it as he's decided life is too short for that faff!

Yep we had that obsession for a time too. He bought a kettle that has different temperature settings for the tea. Then he switched to the coffee.

I thought real coffee snobs know that coffee beans should not be put in the freezer as it kills the flavour.

I'm sure when he watches a video about that he'll start keeping them somewhere else.

I think he might be angling for a fancy kettle though. He does weight the water into the Aeropress, but pours it into a Pyrex jug first because apparently it's difficult to get a smooth pour from our kettle.

I told the kettle I still loved it and thought it poured perfectly well when I made myself a cup of tea.

@AskingQuestionsAllTheTime

MitheredAndFrazzled I usually use a cafetière, but I'm suddenly tempted to plonk a jar of Nescafé on the side in protest.

Oh, no, too cruel! Make it Douwe Egberts at least...

(disclaimer: I don't drink coffee, but I keep instant in the house for them as do, and that's the one the coffee snobs are prepared to drink.)

No! It has to be Aldi or Lidl's cheapest. I'm not suggesting you actually drink it, it's just a prop.

@torquewench

Neither of my parents drink much coffee, but when they have friends over for dinner they always bring out the percolator that they were given as a wedding present in 1969. Minimal faffing involved.

We got one for our 1968 wedding but oddly we never liked the coffee it produced, irrerspective of the coffee we used, I think we chucked it out eventually.

@Mumdiva99 I had no idea such an accessory existed! Don’t tell my husband he’d be straight out to buy one!

I love a cup of coffee in the morning. Got to be ground (use Aldi Sumatran). Getting that balance of milk and sweetener with the coffee is heaven.

Got a James Hoffman video playing now. Fuck me, what a 4* fuss he's making of just getting a cup of coffee. Jug. Hot water. Pause. Filter. Drink.

Please tell your husband NOT to keep beans in the freezer. That's a very outdated and disproved idea now.

MitheredAndFrazzled Perhaps you could get him a "grow your own coffee plant" kit from amazon for a birthday or christmas present?

Italian coffee snob means three Bialettis, v expensive grinder, milk heater, brushes for cleaning grinder, two cafetières, all in bean to cup coffee machine he never uses, espresso cups, bag of spare seals etc for Bialetti, tin for beans once the bag is open, water filter jug, carafe in fridge of cold water for consuming with espresso…..

It’s the requirement for my appreciation that gets on my tits. ‘What can you smell?’ He croons, face in handful of beans. ‘Coffee.’ Sad face, hands waving. ‘Chocolate, plum, citrus!’

And I have to make my own latte after 11am. Nooooo milky coffee after breakfast. It’s the law. If I really want to upset him I wash his Moka/Bialetti with washing up liquid.

And he’s got a vintage racing bike…..

@Crimesean

There's a brilliant routine that Dara O'Briain does, about young people who are obsessed with [insert new obsession here] and will whang on about "THIS is the best album", or "wines from THIS region are the best", "THIS coffee bean in the best" - he says that once you've grown up a bit, it sounds exactly like a six-year-old saying "A stegosaurus is the BEST dinosaur"

The stegosaurus IS the best dinosaur so he's right! Closely followed by triceratops and diplodocus.

In defence of James, he was World Barista Champion so he does know what he's talking about. I find him quite funny, in a very dry posh English way.

man alive i love coffee, but I do not have the patience for too much buggering about.
I am in possession of a lovely bean to cup machine atm and besotted.

I have a burr grinder, but it's relegated to the back of the cupboard until the bean to cup lets me down.....and much as I love coffee and grinding my own beans the mess the bloody thing created made me curse every day.

I love my aeropress. Just had a lovely cup of Lidl decaff.

Just be careful. When DH became a coffee snob a few years back I ketp agreeing to try all the different "brews" and methods a roasts. Thought harmless enough to just smile and nod.

I. Could. Not. Have. Been. More. Wrong.

The resulting damage all the caffeine did to my bowels does not bear remembering. The agony. I can no longer stomach coffee every day. I now have one cup on Saturday and drink tea the rest of the time. You have been warned.

Could be worse. Cycling or a far flung football team obsession maybe.

As for the Aeropress, what am I doing wrong then? All the water dribbles out the bottom before I get the press bit in????