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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am so pissed off right now

96 replies

Besswess88 · 23/01/2022 06:29

Neighbours child has been wailing (think singing wailing more than crying) since 5:30am.

Every fucking day this week., it’s Sunday ffs I want to sleep but now fully awake and very very pissed off.

ARGH 😠

OP posts:
Octopi · 23/01/2022 07:44

@Ovenaffray

If they are working with the baby trying to soothe it then it’s one of those things.

If they’re not and they’re just leaving it to cry then they are being completely unreasonable.

Yep, if its been everyday and they don't move from the room at a guess it's the latter.
WheelieBinPrincess · 23/01/2022 07:49

@GiltEdges

Buy earplugs. Or move and buy a detached 🤷🏼‍♀️
Ffs.

Thé absolutely clueless tripe that gets spouted on here is ridiculous at times.

pictish · 23/01/2022 07:52

Aww it’s so difficult. What a bummer. Hard on everyone.

leavingthispoohole · 23/01/2022 07:54

Maybe ask if they are ok, if you have that sort of relationship? Firstly you will soind like a concerned neighbour and secondly will let them know you can most definitely hear the child screaming.
I have a 2 year old in a converted semi upstairs flat and im sooooo concious of her being a nuisance to neighbours.
I also sleep with a white noise machine maxed up so never hear external noises.
Noisey neighbours are the pits, im sorry!

Barbarantia · 23/01/2022 07:55

To all those who believe sleep training always works. This was my harsh reality. It went on for hours, for weeks and when you tell the HV, they insist the babies do get it eventually and ask you to persist.
Then you are slated by your neighbours on AIBU whilst the parenting board tells you there's no other option and you must be doing it wrong.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 23/01/2022 07:56

I think they could take the child downstairs in the morning if it’s every morning

AlDanvers · 23/01/2022 07:57

@Barbarantia

To all those who believe sleep training always works. This was my harsh reality. It went on for hours, for weeks and when you tell the HV, they insist the babies do get it eventually and ask you to persist. Then you are slated by your neighbours on AIBU whilst the parenting board tells you there's no other option and you must be doing it wrong.
What parenting board has all posters insisting you must sleep train and if it doesn't work you are doing it wrong?
LiG123 · 23/01/2022 07:58

Unfortunately kids don't know weekends 🤪

Defo ear plugs. Our walls are relatively thin but I'd not mute my kids in their own home.

WheelieBinPrincess · 23/01/2022 08:00

@LiG123

Unfortunately kids don't know weekends 🤪

Defo ear plugs. Our walls are relatively thin but I'd not mute my kids in their own home.

Where do you draw the line with that one? I had a neighbour that let her kid sing Karaoke songs full blast at all hours. Should that have been ok as she was in her own home?
WheelieBinPrincess · 23/01/2022 08:01

Kids might not know weekends but as they get older they can certainly be taught.

Ovenaffray · 23/01/2022 08:01

It’s incredibly selfish to say you’d basically make no effort to quiet your child early in the morning

Pikaso · 23/01/2022 08:04

@Ovenaffray

It’s incredibly selfish to say you’d basically make no effort to quiet your child early in the morning
Agree. Personally I’d treat them to a bit of White Zombie late at night. Keep the kid awake and then hopefully be rewarded with a lie in the next morning.
pictish · 23/01/2022 08:05

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

I think they could take the child downstairs in the morning if it’s every morning
They are possibly trying to train the wee one to sleep a bit later so keeping them in bed to soothe there. Getting up and starting the day in another room at 5.30am would only reinforce early waking.

As I say, it’s very hard for all concerned.

Darbs76 · 23/01/2022 08:06

It is selfish allowing that to go on for an hour at 5.30am. If a neighbour has let you know already that they can hear the baby crying why would let them cry for a full hour. Presumably as parents don’t want to get up. Not fair on the neighbours. Most kids go through a phase of early waking, just get up with them. Doesn’t last forever, soon enough you’ll have teens who sleep in all day

Thatsplentyjack · 23/01/2022 08:07

Unfortunately kids don't know weekends

Their parenta do though. Doesn't matter what day it is anyway. It's unacceptable any day of the week.

Allthelols · 23/01/2022 08:09

That would actually drive me insane so you have all my sympathies. Nightmare.

Russell19 · 23/01/2022 08:14

Buy a detached house. It's the only way.

username1293948 · 23/01/2022 08:16

@Besswess88

They could move the crying child and soothe them elsewhere from the adjoining bedroom.
Why should they move their child out of the room to accommodate you? Entitled much.
WheelieBinPrincess · 23/01/2022 08:20

@Russell19

Buy a detached house. It's the only way.
Do you think there might be reasons why a lot of people can’t simply ‘buy a detached house’? Like it’s some marvellous idea that they might not have thought of?
GalacticGoddess · 23/01/2022 08:23

You don't know what's happening there so don't judge. Babies aren't babies for very long.
Luckily you don't have neighbours whose lifestyle is raging house parties that could go on for years, whereas their child will grow up and hopefully become less noisy.

Guineapigssweak · 23/01/2022 08:23

Play loud music when it starts every morning! So many rude neighbours now who don't give a fig about their neighbours comfort . Glad I moved as got to the stage.of wanting to beat mine up it was so bad!!

Ovenaffray · 23/01/2022 08:24

It took me ages to find this house (terrace) and I’ve settled here I have friends and support around me.

Even if I could afford it now (with a massive mortgage I’m in my 50s) there isn’t a detached for sale close enough to here to be practical for me.

Somebodylikeyew · 23/01/2022 08:27

Wow, so many inconsiderate neighbours on here.
5:30 is WAY too early to let your child wake the neighbours every day. Take them downstairs to the furthest point away from the bedrooms ffs!

Pastnowfuture · 23/01/2022 08:30

Having been on the other side of the wall if I encountered this I would ask them how they are and mention you've heard the baby crying.

When my little boy started nursery we went through hell at nights for about 3 weeks. He would wail in our arms for hours no matter what. It turns out he had a virus (not diagnosed immediately) and a ear infection (diagnosed but they said it didn't need antibiotics- they were wrong and his ear drum perforated).

We have no rooms which don't join to their house and when we took our child into the lounge downstairs this would wake their adult daughter up (who we knew was a light sleeper from previous chats).

My neighbours banged on the wall. I was already struggling and this literally pushed me to the point I needed to ring for mental health support as it was the final straw in me believing I was the world's worst parent.

The next day I approached them about the banging. I explained that we weren't leaving him to cry and apologised for the length of time it was taking. They apologised for the banging.

Like other posters have said maybe they don't know how much you can hear or maybe they are really, really struggling. I hope it passed quickly for you and them.

Lemonlemon88 · 23/01/2022 08:30

The child must be extremely distressed to be crying for hours on end. How awful for everyone.