Horrified at 7month old in pizza express with screen

[MadeinSW3]

I went for lunch today at pizza express, there was a couple giving their ?7month old a bottle with a screen propped up with something Disney to watch. They then plopped baby into high chair and put something else on during whole time at the stable. How can people be so stupid! The baby was looking around elsewhere for something more interesting.

@Giraffesandbottoms sorry, we wanted to celebrate our wedding anniversary. I didn’t realise that once you have a baby you have to stay inside all the time. I’ll make sure to run anything else we plan to do by you first to check it’s okay :)

Wouldn't have been my choice but you have no idea what is going on in those people's lives.

I was more "horrified" when out with my family at a nice Italian restaurant, and the family next to us fed their 2 little girls on a big bowl of chips. They had decent meals, but the kids - just chips. Maybe that's all they would eat, I don't know - but chips in a nice Italian restaurant seemed somewhat out of place!

Still - their choice.

[quote Giraffesandbottoms]@EarringsandLipstick

Not sure 2 sentences and 1 swear word constitute a @foul mouthed rant” but ok 😉[/quote]
Calling them 'fucking children' is both foul-mouthed & ranty.

Did they have to be 'fucking' children? Not just children?

[quote justlonelystars]@Giraffesandbottoms sorry, we wanted to celebrate our wedding anniversary. I didn’t realise that once you have a baby you have to stay inside all the time. I’ll make sure to run anything else we plan to do by you first to check it’s okay :)[/quote]
How very dare you celebrate your wedding anniversary. You should have stayed home. You're a mother now. Tut.

LOL jesus christ. Mind your own business!

Idk how you know the baby is 7 months?

I give my two year old and my five year old screens for peace if we go out with them, which is once in a blue moon.

My five year old is so so disobedient and I do ANYTHING for the peace, even then, eating out with him is highly stressful it's not an enjoyable experience at all, I really hate it.

I don't need someone like you thinking I'm a bad parent because I'm trying to distract him / keep him quiet so he doesn't run about and people like YOU make me uncomfortable for the racket he is making

At 7 months I agree kids don't need a screen they are a lot easier at that age but you don't know the baby's age for certain and you don't know if that mum or dad just really needed a break from even chatting to their baby today. You have no idea what they are going through

Yes screen time can be problematic… but you know nothing about them or their baby.

Stop being so judgemental. It’s seriously not a good look on anyone.

Can see from the poll that this view isn’t popular, but I agree OP. Obviously this specific family might have had other reasons for using a screen, but in general all this incidental screen time (I also see it used a lot in pushchairs while shopping and on public transport) isn’t doing babies and young children any good.

We’ve recently been looking at schools for DD. Every single one we saw mentioned a considerable recent increase in speech and language issues among incoming Reception cohorts, and several specifically blamed screens. They said all they wanted parents to do before school was toilet train their children and talk to them, because so many couldn’t hold a conversation, maintain eye contact, ask questions etc.

I agree OP, I would judge as well.

Yeah fair enough. We dont know their whole parenting philosophy etc. But I do judge parents who use screens. Just like I am sure some parents judge me for putting my kids in nursery or dressing my baby in shoes before he was walking.

Part and parcel of being a parent I think.

@justlonelystars

It’s just unrealistic though, isn’t it? Your 7 month old doesn’t know it’s your anniversary. By all means do what you like but express surprise that your baby was tired and bored at a restaurant in the evening and didn’t behave accordingly and therefore needed a screen is quite amusing. For me I would just get a takeaway at home 🤷🏻‍♀️ Or go for lunch or something more reasonable that works around my baby.

@EarringsandLipstick

I like to use expletive infixation for emphasis. It’s quite a popular language device; I’m surprised you seemingly haven’t heard of it before.

wow! Horrified! Oh dear, get a grip! I remember needing just a few moments to eat and feel normal when dcs were babies and I was totally fed up. Don't judge.

@TempsPerdu

Can see from the poll that this view isn’t popular, but I agree OP. Obviously this specific family might have had other reasons for using a screen, but in general all this incidental screen time (I also see it used a lot in pushchairs while shopping and on public transport) isn’t doing babies and young children any good.

We’ve recently been looking at schools for DD. Every single one we saw mentioned a considerable recent increase in speech and language issues among incoming Reception cohorts, and several specifically blamed screens. They said all they wanted parents to do before school was toilet train their children and talk to them, because so many couldn’t hold a conversation, maintain eye contact, ask questions etc.

God I'd hate to live in your area. I've never encountered this as an issue in any of my DC's classes.

One of my DC is badgering me for a phone. He's 12 (we're in Ireland so he's not yet in secondary). Many of his friends have them. He'll get one when he goes to secondary school.

However there's no automatic line between phone / screen usage & linguistic or other issues. Those kids also play sport, hang out with friends and read

Ok, back to pre-schoolers - excessive screen time is not good. But it's part of a wider issue of engagement, reading, connecting & going outside.
The simple narrative that 'screens are bad' is a foolish one.

How about you aren't a judgemental arse?

I think it's really sad the sheer quantity of people that think this is ok. Bottles shouldn't be propped as they are a choking hazard, parents should be holding if baby can't.

OP doesn’t say the bottle was propped up - she says the parents were giving a bottle while the screen was propped up.

Best not to judge people without reading properly.

It's very sad, I've seen it a lot, also babies in prams with screens.

[quote Giraffesandbottoms]@EarringsandLipstick

I like to use expletive infixation for emphasis. It’s quite a popular language device; I’m surprised you seemingly haven’t heard of it before.[/quote]
What?

Not sure what point you're (still) trying to make.

Calling them 'fucking children' is pretty foul as was the over-exercised, ranty tone of your post.

Your choice but unnecessary.

Dear god, the judgment on this thread is what is horrifying. As the parent of 2 autistic kids who spend pretty much every waking moment on screens, you can take that judgment and shove it. I'd be more concerned about the poor kids being raised by parents who spend their time judging others rather than focusing on their own kids and lives.

While it's not really my go to distraction method (dc would have just launched the phone) I can see why people would use it as a one off.

Have you ever thought that the type of people to judge a child on a screen, are the same type of people to judge loud babies and maybe the parents are trying to make sure they're not on the receiving end of a busy bodies judgement. Obviously they can't win.

I prefer to mind my own and enjoy my meal, not watching others 🤷‍♀️

I think the main reason it won’t be popular on here is because screen time is now so normalised for babies/children. I totally get that some days maybe someone just can’t take another second of tantrums etc and needs a breather but I do think it’s now almost expected that you’ll give your child a phone or tablet rather than expected that you won’t which is bizarre 🤔

I’m an infant teacher and I’ve noticed a HUGE change in children’s behaviour/attention span in the last few years since iPads etc have become so popular for young children. So many teaching staff are on their knees because the job is just becoming impossible now. We occasionally use them as part of a lesson and a worrying number of the children almost become possessed whenever they see the iPads or laptops are out. They need the iPad and can’t concentrate on anything else until it’s their turn. Before ever having my own child this made me so determined to never let this be my child when they’re older. At uni I studied the fact screens actually change your child’s brain if they are given them before age 3.

Realistically why would a child have any interest in what a teacher at a board has to say if they’re used to flashing lights, songs and instant access to almost anything they want at their fingertips? A teacher just can’t compete with that when so many children have their iPad for the entire time they aren’t at school. Now I have a baby of my own and I’m very much anti-screens but I have to be very subtle about it so as not to offend any of my friends who do allow their child screen time. I think the awkward moment may come when we go out for dinner with another couple with their child 🙈 He will be allowed time to watch tv etc as he grows up but there are so many more interesting things we could do rather than sitting staring at an iPad all day.

As I say, each to their own and maybe these parents just needed a breather (although for a baby of that age I doubt it would work) but personally I don’t agree with how normal it has all become over the last few years. I think the full effects of it might not be felt until this generation of children reaching working age 😬

@Giraffesandbottoms

Absolutely hate people using screens in restaurants, barring children having special needs. So lazy and sad - talk to your fucking children.

Just interested to know how you determine that a child has special needs, and that the screen is therefore ok by your standards? Must be exhausting having to asses every child with a screen to see if their parent a require your scorn or not

@Molly499

Quite shocked at some of the responses on here, horrified might be a strong word, saddened is probably the one I would have used.

How do you think parents coped before screens? Babies do not have to scream either, there is a lot of middle ground, engaging and occupying a child would be so much better. We are probably brining up a whole generation of children who will never know how to behave in restaurants, personally I think screens should be banned, they are just a parenting cop out.

If the parents were so desperate for a break from their child they could have stuck it in front of a screen at home, much more relaxing.

In my mum's day kids were left in the car with a packet of crisps so parents could drink in the pub. That's how they "managed".

@EarringsandLipstick

engaging and occupying a child would be so much better

And perhaps they do all the rest of the day / week

Your post is ridiculous.

Clearly using screens as a distraction device for children / babies isn't great. But there's no need to ban them.

Families make different choices for the way their families work. What I decide to do may not work for a someone else. And vice versa.
Don't be so directive about what everyone 'should' do.

Obviously one of those parents who use screens in public. Look, it's your life, but it's a thread where we share opinions, deal with it.

Why a screen and not a piece of bread or even a screwed up bit of paper to hold? Babies that young aren't really interested if you bothered to read the original post.

Horrified?? Stop watching other people parenting their children! It’s none of your business Fgs judgemental people do my head in especially judging their parenting there will be things you do as a parent that they don’t agree with but I doubt the post online that it horrifies them!!