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AIBU?

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Original poster

Horrified at 7month old in pizza express with screen

999 replies

MadeinSW3 · 22/01/2022 15:00

I went for lunch today at pizza express, there was a couple giving their ?7month old a bottle with a screen propped up with something Disney to watch. They then plopped baby into high chair and put something else on during whole time at the stable. How can people be so stupid! The baby was looking around elsewhere for something more interesting.

OP posts:

DefaultParent · 22/01/2022 19:27

I couldn't get worked up over this. I gave my own 7mo my phone in the car tonight with Cocomelon on YouTube as she was inconsolable. It's not something I would normally do but it calmed her down. We don't all have people on hand to babysit for us so maybe this was the only way the couple could have a meal out.

DoTheMerengue · 22/01/2022 19:28

I wouldn’t do it but it’s hardly something to be “horrified” by.

DD usually entertained herself when we went out to eat by people watching, waving at people (who often made the error of the waving back, thus tying themselves into doing so for the duration of their meal), and eating whatever food she had. If she was really really kicking off we’d have just taken a view and probably gone home.

theleafandnotthetree · 22/01/2022 19:28

@CeeCeeDeeBee

I'm always surprised at people saying "don't judge" at situations like this. I definitely judge, and I think it's really sad to put such a small baby in front of a screen.

Though I actually don't think screens belong in restaurants at all. Kids can't learn how to behave if you don't talk to them and teach them how.

Yep, I agree with you. Have managed to get mine to 15 and 11 without doing so and we have eaten out a lot over the years. And I consider it basic enough manners and parenting, before anyone jumps in and says 'have a medal, congratulations on being a better parent', etc etc. I was out 3 years ago with mine and we were waiting a fair while for their dad to arrive. Meanwhile, a family with three children similar ages to mine sat at the next table and immediately, without any attempt at conversation and interaction, they were handed a tablet each and that was the beginning and end of it. They had to be harrassed into picking what they wanted to eat. Even my children, who love their tech, said 'that's ridiculous'. And this scenario or versions of it are so common as to suggest that this is not always some unfair snapshot, it's everyday life and interaction in many families. And I do judge it and think it is shit parenting. So there!

Yumperwumpee · 22/01/2022 19:29

Even my children, who love their tech, said 'that's ridiculous

Hopefully you corrected them for being so incredibly rude, and reminded them that they knew nothing about the children or their circumstances.

fizzypop100 · 22/01/2022 19:30

OP I agree with you. That's grim. Parents should be fully interacting, not using a screen

SallyAnn32 · 22/01/2022 19:30

Each to their own but maybe the parents had been up all night with the baby and just wanted to eat in peace. As the old saying goes, some people are fighting a battle you know nothing about.

HairyFanjoBanjo · 22/01/2022 19:31

The judge committee called, they need you back urgently.

Giraffesandbottoms · 22/01/2022 19:32

A mealtime with a 7 month old isn't going to be a social event

I think you start as you mean to go on with this stuff

2anddone · 22/01/2022 19:33

Meh I would rather they sat their child in front of a screen than the child got bored and screamed the whole time they were in the restaurant! How do you know the child doesn't only get screen time when out and none at all at home? Stop being so judgmental

Shmithecat2 · 22/01/2022 19:33

@fizzypop100

OP I agree with you. That's grim. Parents should be fully interacting, not using a screen

They were probably 'fully interacting' all sodding day, and just wanted to eat one dinner out without having to for the 10 mins it took them.

WindyState · 22/01/2022 19:34

[quote jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey]@WindyState I grew up in a tv free home.
My children didn't have access to screens till the age of 11.
I've never used a screen in a restaurant or cafe , neither have my children.
[/quote]
So?

Screens are not the only way to occupy a child you are not committing 100% to. Did you ever give your kid a toy to play with when you sat on the sofa drinking a cup of tea? Yes? Shame on you.

Goldilocks99 · 22/01/2022 19:35

Haven't read the whole thread but just wanted to clear up a misconception.
Developmental delay is caused by serious conditions like cerebral palsy. Not putting an iPad on for half an hour whilst a parent eats a meal.
I don't use devices for my own reasons. My child has developmental delay due most likely to a birth injury.
My relative sat their baby in a highchair for a meal with an iPad. So they could eat I imagine. Their baby doesn't have developmental delay.

Apart from the awful judgment of seeing a snapshot and drawing bitchy conclusions it's disrespectful to parents of babies with actual developmental delay to imply it is a parenting cause.

And FYI, a lot of children with developmental delay will go on to require screens because they can't always access the world in the same way their peers can. I would never judge a family because you don't know the full picture. And even if you did, no one is a perfect parent. Just strive to be a 'good enough' parent.

mumof2exhausted · 22/01/2022 19:35

7 months is probably bit young but I wouldn’t have given it much thought, hope they enjoyed their dinner. I personally am more judgy when I see any children 5 years plus doing this as they should be able to chat / draw/ play card games etc with their family

Woofwoofbarkbark · 22/01/2022 19:36

@SallyAnn32

Each to their own but maybe the parents had been up all night with the baby and just wanted to eat in peace. As the old saying goes, some people are fighting a battle you know nothing about.

If you had been up all night why would then get dressed, get all the kit ready and then either walk, drive or catch the bus into a town to eat?! Eat some toast and go to bed!

When you have children you have to give some things up. Some of those things might be eating out at pizza restaurants.

You don't think going out to eat at a restaurant when your dog arsed tired and in need of food and a rest with a small baby is a good idea.

Fuck it. Maybe I'm too much of a country bumpkin and heading out all that way to eat pizza with a young baby when you haven't slept is a good idea. 😅

WorkEvent · 22/01/2022 19:36

When I had PFB I might have been horrified too. Now I have two, you just do whatever you can to have a meal in peace tbh. I’m amazed a baby that small would have any interest in a screen though.

Goldbar · 22/01/2022 19:36

@Woofwoofbarkbark. Well, you did say that you 'just left' if your baby cried in a public place. What if you had to wait a while for the bill? All the time, your screaming baby would be annoying everyone round about you.

I suppose you could order food, baby starts crying, so you walk out and pay on the way out without eating any of it. Seems a bit wasteful to me. Pizza Express probably wouldn't care but, in our local pizzeria, the staff would find not eating any of your food offensive (crying baby or no crying baby). There are some public situations that you can't simply walk out of just because your baby is crying. Screens can be useful to reduce the impact on surrounding people.

Mfsf · 22/01/2022 19:37

Let me guess if the baby was screaming non stop tehy would be awful because you couldn’t eat in peace and quiet ! Get a grip , a few minutes to be able to eat quietly wont do that child any harm . What I really feel is wrong is people being judged and talked about when you know knotting about them or their child !

NotNee · 22/01/2022 19:39

My children didn't have access to screens till the age of 11.

My DS’s friend had no screen time in primary so when they came over for play dates all they wanted to do was screen time and DS didn’t want to.

Goldbar · 22/01/2022 19:40

And for those suggesting toys, babies throw those, they get dirty on the floor and then the baby puts them in their mouth.

If you are taking toys, it's best to take a piece of string or a clip so you can tie them to the highchair. My DC's favourite game was dropping them on the floor or throwing them at our plates. If they're attached to the high chair, much less damage is done.

WindyState · 22/01/2022 19:43

"If you had been up all night why would then get dressed, get all the kit ready and then either walk, drive or catch the bus into a town to eat?! Eat some toast and go to bed! "

Because sometimes you have plans? Because sometimes it's just nice to go out and pay someone else to make you lunch than have to do it yourself?

Parents who martyr themselves are no use to anyone.

Napa234 · 22/01/2022 19:44

I had to post on this thread as I’ve been that parent that gave their 7 month old a screen to watch when I went out to lunch…..and it’s people like you that I used to be afraid of being honest about my parenting because I knew I would be judged….

I have a reason why I used my phone that day so you really should never ever judge anyone’s situation unless you know what’s behind it.

theleafandnotthetree · 22/01/2022 19:44

@Yumperwumpee

Even my children, who love their tech, said 'that's ridiculous

Hopefully you corrected them for being so incredibly rude, and reminded them that they knew nothing about the children or their circumstances.

No, I agreed with them. What was there to know? They were all seemingly healthy neurotypical children and the parents gave no appearance of going through a crisis or anything. I do judge them for going out for a family meal and not making the slightest attempt to interact as a family. I have no problem with them taking a view on it.

Mfsf · 22/01/2022 19:44

See contrary to the OP I see this as good parenting , you calmed your baby brain hike you had to drive and solved a stressful situation . The op would probably just have just let them cry non stop until they got home or not go home and take whatever time on a parking space to try and calms down a crying baby .
I do t get this aversion to tech , my DD had an iPad from before she turned 2 ( I get them from work every 2 years so have her the old one ) , she still uses it to research and even learned to read almost by herself before she was 4. She is 5 now and 2 years advanced in school , she still loves playing outside , with her toys and cooking and crafting . Tech is only damaging if people allow it to be , it can be really good if used at the right time

Yumperwumpee · 22/01/2022 19:46

They were all seemingly healthy neurotypical children and the parents gave no appearance of going through a crisis or anything

Well why would they. Do you think neurodiverse children run around shouting the whole time, or parents going through a crisis weep and wail? How on earth would you know what was going on for them?

Personally I'd have been ashamed if my child saw fit to pass comment on some strangers in such a rude manner.

WindyState · 22/01/2022 19:47

"What was there to know?"

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