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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Horrified at 7month old in pizza express with screen

999 replies

MadeinSW3 · 22/01/2022 15:00

I went for lunch today at pizza express, there was a couple giving their ?7month old a bottle with a screen propped up with something Disney to watch. They then plopped baby into high chair and put something else on during whole time at the stable. How can people be so stupid! The baby was looking around elsewhere for something more interesting.

OP posts:
JazzyMcFazzy · 22/01/2022 18:59

Ohhh wow! I feel like there will be a lot of people on here sending you some serious bad karma vibes!

tvcc · 22/01/2022 19:00

[quote jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey]@WindyState I grew up in a tv free home.
My children didn't have access to screens till the age of 11.
I've never used a screen in a restaurant or cafe , neither have my children.
[/quote]
You don't get a medal, by the way.

Inlander · 22/01/2022 19:00

Look guys. My mum plonked me in front of the TV when I was little because she had a lot on her plate. I learned to speak English by watching TV (mum spoke a different language at home) and I have turned out alright so a bit of TV won’t kill anyone.

That being said, I haven’t written and directed any plays or discovered a cure for cancer so maybe I shouldn’t have had so much screen time.

boringcreation · 22/01/2022 19:00

@MadeinSW3

I’ve never seen a child so young with a screen, just shake a toy! The baby looked calm and was smiling when looking away from screen !
You must not get out much so. It's their business, not yours.
Woofwoofbarkbark · 22/01/2022 19:01

So many people are saying... its better than a screaming baby. They're not the only choices. Screaming baby or screen watching baby. There's a whole host of stuff in between.

And I agree OP. It's fucking sad.

Disneyblueeyes · 22/01/2022 19:02

You'd have a fit if you knew how much TV my 2 year old watches.

Good job I don't really care, and neither will that woman.
Mind your own business.

Woofwoofbarkbark · 22/01/2022 19:03

How has this become OK and normal? Sometimes I think I must live in a different world to everyone else!

Yumperwumpee · 22/01/2022 19:04

Sometimes I think I must live in a different world to everyone else!

Disneyblueeyes · 22/01/2022 19:05

[quote jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey]@WindyState I grew up in a tv free home.
My children didn't have access to screens till the age of 11.
I've never used a screen in a restaurant or cafe , neither have my children.
[/quote]
And?

Piglet89 · 22/01/2022 19:05

@Yumperwumpee 😂😂

Giraffesandbottoms · 22/01/2022 19:07

@Piglet89

But all PND is caused by is ridiculous expectations about motherhood and it’s totally within an individual’s control. Not a serious mental illness

What?!? Please quote where I said that. I didn’t say that. I absolutely don’t think it helps though, expectations not meeting reality. I have a close family member with PND and she massively struggled with what she expected vs reality. In no way did I say it’s not a serious illness, or that it’s all to do with that. But for some people it’s a contributing factor.

Disneyblueeyes · 22/01/2022 19:08

I don't really understand the whole stigma around children watching TV. It's far better than it used to be. What's the harm exactly? I watched far too much TV as a kid and I turned out ok.
You don't receive some special parenting award if your child has never watched TV in their life and spends all their time making quaint crafts with their parents who have all the time in the world.

BunsyGirl · 22/01/2022 19:08

Well the good news OP is that despite being an early iPad user, my DS1 is at one of the most selective state grammar schools in the country where he’s top of the year in computer science. All is not lost for that baby Smile

whysitspicey · 22/01/2022 19:08

So you saw a snapshot of this families life and thought you'd come on the internet and slag them off? Get over yourself.

Wineisoverrated · 22/01/2022 19:09

@Giraffesandbottoms

The absolute narrow minded hostility on here is bloody horrible. Even if the baby is given a screen EVERY meal it’s in no way going to stunt their growth or give them a massive developmental delay. There’s far worse things a parent could do to a child than give them Bluey at the dinner table

I actually disagree and I think it would be quite damaging for social and developmental reasons to do this. But I also don’t think something “not being the worst you could do” is a fantastic bar to set, parenting-wise 🤷🏻‍♀️

No, not being the worst thing you can do isn’t the bar to set but every single parenting act or decision results in a trickling effect.

If we put aside every level of judgement here what do we have? We have endless parents coming on and saying ‘I do that better’ we live in a society of one up man ship. ‘I never give my child a screen’, ‘I never let my child watch television’, ‘I never ignore my baby’, ‘I never let them cry’, ‘I never XYZ’ and the result is we now have a society where parents feel they can’t be seen to do wrong for the resulting judgement it caused.

How many posters have come on this thread to say ‘I did the same I just needed five minutes’? Ten? Twenty? Not everyone can attentively parent 100% of the time. It’s draining and exhausting and that ten minutes sitting watching a phone with everyone getting a break instead of parents expecting to be mr fucking tumble every waking second could be the difference between that mother or father having a breakdown or simply snapping.

In cases of shaken babies the number one reason given is ‘I needed the crying to stop’. Does that seem a far jump from a baby sat at a table watching a tablet? It’s not. We’ve all reached breaking point with our own where after months of broken sleep, tantrums, a complete loss of self and endless crying and ‘mummy mummy mummy mummy’ we snap. We shout or we storm out the house or we say things we didn’t mean and we snap. What helps? Space. A simple bedtime, a quiet evening, a night from being simply parents or a period of rest be that a meal or a full night sleep.

No sitting a child down with a screen isn’t ideal. Talking and chatting would be better but it’s also far better to have a baby sat safely in a high chair as mum and dad eat calmly and have a quarter of an hour or twenty minute recharge than they keep pouring and pouring what they cannot give from an empty cup until that cup shatters and that little baby is in the firing line of getting cut by the glass.

There was a thread on here the other day asking why is suicide and mental health SO prevalent? THIS. This is why. Because parents and adults are not allowed to be seen as anything less than perfect, they cannot sit their child with a screen, they cannot let them cry, they cannot struggle or fall down and be human and what’s left? A shell of them that is barely functioning that drags on trying and trying without any help or support or understanding.

7 months old? Bloody hell. My little boy didn’t sleep for a year to be sat in a restaurant with no one crying was an achievement.

Imagine that mother is on here. She’s suffering with post natal depression, she’s tired and she feels like she’s a shit mum. Her baby doesn’t sleep, her marriage feels broken, she can’t remember the last time she wasn’t mum. She went out with her husband for a meal and she reads this thread. How would that make her feel? Shit. Like a shit mum. ‘Shit parenting’ ‘fucking awful’ ‘that poor baby’ ‘I never did that’ ‘developmental delay’ ‘neglect’ all terms that have been thrown around on here that whilst seem minimal would add another chip to that mother’s broken cup with every single word.

God forbid mothers on here absolutely SLAMMING these parents are anything less than perfect. Sometimes we all do what we have to do to survive.

Woofwoofbarkbark · 22/01/2022 19:09

@Yumperwumpee

What does that mean?

Disneyblueeyes · 22/01/2022 19:10

@BunsyGirl

Well the good news OP is that despite being an early iPad user, my DS1 is at one of the most selective state grammar schools in the country where he’s top of the year in computer science. All is not lost for that baby Smile
I mean screens are everywhere. Our children are growing up in a technologically advanced world. What's it going to be like in 20 years? Kind of derailing the thread, but sneering at screen usage is starting to become old fashioned.
Giraffesandbottoms · 22/01/2022 19:10

@Ajl46

And when that doesn't work, books don't work and toys don't work, what then? Leave hungry I suppose?

I would ask for the food to go, yes. And then I would try again in a month or so.

amitoooldforthisshit · 22/01/2022 19:11

DONT JUDGE

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/01/2022 19:11

[quote Giraffesandbottoms]@Ajl46

And when that doesn't work, books don't work and toys don't work, what then? Leave hungry I suppose?

I would ask for the food to go, yes. And then I would try again in a month or so.[/quote]
How silly when they'd be happy with a screen for half an hour.

Wineisoverrated · 22/01/2022 19:13

[quote Giraffesandbottoms]@Ajl46

And when that doesn't work, books don't work and toys don't work, what then? Leave hungry I suppose?

I would ask for the food to go, yes. And then I would try again in a month or so.[/quote]
Also try harder to develop empathy.

It’s a nice trait to possess.

Chocomelon · 22/01/2022 19:13

@EyesAsGreenAsAFreshPickledToad

Hmm

Keep your beak out. Maybe the mum finally got a few minutes peace to enjoy a meal and adult conversation after a relentless 7 months of a baby crying.

This.

Mind your own business

Bonnealle · 22/01/2022 19:13

You sound like the woman every mother fears. It’s hard enough to be a parent without feeling judged, yet here you are making mothers feel like crap. I hope this thread has made you feel better, it’s made a lot of us so sad that the thing we fear is actually true.

Disneyblueeyes · 22/01/2022 19:13

[quote Giraffesandbottoms]@Ajl46

And when that doesn't work, books don't work and toys don't work, what then? Leave hungry I suppose?

I would ask for the food to go, yes. And then I would try again in a month or so.[/quote]
What a dull life you must lead.

Cluelessbeetroot · 22/01/2022 19:14

I’m horrified you went for lunch at pizza express.

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