To be upset with friend?

[kittykat33]

I found out I was pregnant & shared the news with my best friend.

This will be my 2nd baby and they have no children incase that's relevant.

Excitement was short lived as I then had bleeding & pain which we messaged about. I told her I'd got a scan booked at EPU & she wished me well. Scan day came and went and I didn't hear from friend but I brushed it off that she's busy with her own life and etc and either forgot or wasn't sure if I wanted to talk / was waiting for me to mention it first. Anyway, I let her know the scan was inconclusive and that I was waiting for another in two weeks and we chatted and I mentioned I was feeling stressed / anxious / low about it. She was supportive.

The day of the second scan came and went and again, nothing. It's been a few days now and I still haven't heard anything from her. I actually had positive news but can't really be bothered to tell her as she is clearly not thinking of me.

I completely understand that she cares much less about my pregnancy than I do but I'm a bit gutted she doesn't care about me enough to check in how I'm doing.

I know we're all busy and things slip by etc. but I'm upset tbh. I'm also aware I'm hormonal and tired with a toddler and newly pregnant and I'm maybe being a bit dramatic.

AIBU to be upset? Or are they being a shit friend?

I don't think yabu if I'm close enough friends with someone to tell them or them me then I'm close enough to message them and ask how they got on

Although personally I'd have messaged you on the morning wishing you luck and asking that you let me know how you got on, that way I'm waiting for you to message when you're ready and not hounding you if you weren't ready to talk

From her point of view - she may not want to ask in case it’s bad news.

I'd never ask in case it's bad news. When it comes to pregnancy and birth I always let my friends decide what they'll tell me and when. Now I'm wondering if I come across as disinterested rather than respectful!

You sound like hard work

A bit unreasonable of you I think, I would not want to know all the ins and outs of someone's pregnancy issues, whether they were friends or not..

@Chilesstanton

You sound like hard work

Is it really necessary to trot out that MN cliche?

I think OP has got the point in any case.

She could have forgotten the date of your second scan. I try to remember dates in friends’ lives but sometimes forget; it doesn’t make me a shit friend though I hope. You said she was supportive after the inconclusive scan, so she is there for you. I’d text her your good news. And no it’s not relevant that she doesn’t have kids. Good luck with your pregnancy.

I don’t think YABU at all OP. Best friends MAKE time for each other no matter how busy. It would have taken her seconds to drop you a text on the mornings of your hospital visits to wish you luck and ask her to let you know how it goes. Very thoughtless of her not to even bother to do that.

I think it's up to the person with the news to contact the people waiting to hear the news.

@MilduraS

I'd never ask in case it's bad news. When it comes to pregnancy and birth I always let my friends decide what they'll tell me and when. Now I'm wondering if I come across as disinterested rather than respectful!

This ^^ especially the wondering if I come across as disinterested!