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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be concerned about secondary school teacher conduct

79 replies

Andformynexttrick · 21/01/2022 22:33

Late to MN & first post- please be gentle. . . Y10 DD has mentioned a few times previously in passing that her male middle aged teacher is a bit creepy. He has been her drama/music teacher since Y7. Today we spoke at length and I heard myself suggesting that she try to avoid reacting to his comments to avoid drawing him any more. Then realised it’s surely wrong for a child to need to do that to avoid feeling uncomfortable in class/after school club. He doesn’t target her specifically - many of the girls are on the receiving end. Comments on appearance (nice eyeliner today/you’ve got a hole in your tights), or demeanour (‘moody teenager’), or engaging in conversations she feels are none of his business (which is your favourite friend/parent). Also loads of merit marks, come to think of it.
None of this is overt and probably is just his manner . . . but he is apparently widely referred to as ‘p*o Name’ by the students.
More concerning is that he apparently locks the classroom for 1-1 student meetings (happened to her once) requiring child to have to ask to be let out (key code). Feel like I want to go to school with this but not sure (can of worms)???

OP posts:
Knackeredbutnot · 21/01/2022 22:37

As a secondary school teacher - I would absolutely go to the school. The locking of the door is a serious safeguarding issue, but someone also needs to speak to him about his conduct which - perhaps completely innocent- is inappropriate.

Pinkflask · 21/01/2022 22:38

The door locking is enough on its own - it’s against every safeguarding rule there is and definitely worth repeating.

crazyjinglist · 21/01/2022 22:39

I'm a teacher and think this sounds a bit dodgy. I would definitely approach the school with this. Even if this teacher has no dodgy motives, he is behaving unwisely at best, and at least borderline inappropriately.

GrazingSheep · 21/01/2022 22:42

Why do you think you cannot approach the school about the fact that a ‘creepy middle aged’ man locks the door with a young teenage girl is alone with him?
Does that not strike you as a bit odd?

FlasherMcGruff · 21/01/2022 22:52

I would definitely report your concerns to the head (not head of year or anyone else). This is sensitive and also a potential child protection issue so go straight to the top to avoid it being passed via multiple people - it would go to the head ultimately anyway. The head can then pass it to the relevant child protection lead. I’ve been a deputy head responsible for safeguarding. While we all understand rumours of ‘creepy’ adults can just be idle talk from pupils and you obviously don’t want to be wrong, the door locking alone is serious. Staff should always keep a door open if they are alone with a pupil - locking it is out of the question.

HedyPrism · 21/01/2022 22:54

Secondary teacher here.
Report. Not OK. School may have online reporting for safeguarding concerns. Mine does.

AliveAndSleeping · 21/01/2022 22:56

Locking the door is definitely not ok..I'd report that.

twominutesmore · 21/01/2022 22:56

Is he locking the door or does it just fall closed and lock automatically? All of our doors require a key code to open them, and they close automatically as heavy fire doors.

I do think he's unwise to meet any pupil 1:1 behind a closed door and to ask personal questions such as those you give as examples. I think it would be appropriate to mention both in a written complaint.

I don't see anything untoward in his comments. I might tell someone they've got a hole in their tights, comment on a new pair of trainers and so on. Does he make similar comments to the boys?

sadpapercourtesan · 21/01/2022 22:56

If he is making the girls uncomfortable, then that in itself is enough to trigger a safeguarding issue. Whether or not his intentions are honourable, he needs to modify his conduct.

The locking of the door is completely unacceptable and he will be breaching the school's safeguarding policy by doing that. I would make a formal complaint in writing to her HOY and the school safeguarding lead.

Sadgirlsummer · 21/01/2022 22:59

In my experience growing up in all-girls schools, there was no smoke without fire when it came to creepy male teachers pushing limits. If something feels off in this behaviour (which locking a door alone definitely is!) then it should be reported. Not to scare you but as an adult now I'd rather be overprotective and cautious than doubting myself into thinking I might be making a meal out of nothing.

Original poster
Andformynexttrick · 21/01/2022 23:01

Indeed it does @GrazingSheep -actually I’m probably thinking ahead to how school would deal with it; his word against theirs/my DD having to make a statement or whatever/other students getting involved/repercussions on DD GCSE etc etc. I realise that my main concern should simply be to bring it to their attention.

OP posts:
amnm · 21/01/2022 23:11

The comments by themselves could be harmless, and I normally wouldn't pay attention to calling what nicknames pupils give a teacher as plenty of kids will call teachers all sort of things, but the locking of the door isn't ok and is a red flag.

Even if there's a simple explanation about the lock (e.g. some doors can lock automatically when closed), the door shouldn't be closed in a one-to-one meeting with a student. All teachers would be aware of this, so it seems strange he would do so.

It might also be worth investigating why he has one-to-one meetings with your daughter, it could be completely innocent and something he does with all students to discuss progress etc. but it does seem a bit strange. Most teachers wouldn't arrange one-to-one meetings with students.

sadpapercourtesan · 21/01/2022 23:12

My history teacher gave me private lessons for a bit in the sixth form. He had a door that closed automatically, so he used to prop it open with the bin. Simple.

If this guy is alone in a room with a teenaged girl and a locked door, he knows damn well what he's doing.

Valeriekat · 21/01/2022 23:18

It isn't your word against his. NO teacher should be in a room with the door closed let alone locked. This is for their own protection so he is being extremely foolish at best.

ConsuelaHammock · 21/01/2022 23:20

Go to the school! This is not ok

youvegottenminuteslynn · 21/01/2022 23:34

Report report report. Including the nickname the pupils have given him. Yes it is not proof of wrongdoing requiring firing etc but it is proof that his behaviour has made enough pupils sufficiently uncomfortable that they've collectively nicknamed him this.

More concerning is that he apparently locks the classroom for 1-1 student meetings (happened to her once) requiring child to have to ask to be let out (key code)

This is absolutely unacceptable in every way and against every single safeguarding measure. There's literally no reason this would be acceptable - to lock a pupil in a room with you alone.

Please do report.

Original poster
Andformynexttrick · 21/01/2022 23:37

Appreciate the feedback folks, I think I know what I will do.

@FlasherMcGruff - thanks for confirming; I was thinking it needed to go straight in at the top.

@amnm - actually 1-1 are not for DD (one occasion only for her at a lunchtime rehearsal - but still. . .) Termly 1-1 with form tutor is standard. He is not her FT.

DD knows door should be open if teacher alone with student but I bet not all (any?) of the younger students do.

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 21/01/2022 23:38

Locking door Shock. I would query the school why he is locking the door.

RedHelenB · 22/01/2022 06:43

So your dd has been in a 1 to 1 with him where the door was closed/ locked? If that's the case it needs reporting, no ifs or buts Serms really odd that this had never been reported before if its a common occurrence.

shouldistop · 22/01/2022 06:50

The door shouldn't even be shut let alone locked.

Scarby9 · 22/01/2022 06:58

@sadpapercourtesan mentions the bin in the door approach.
The doors in our school are too heavy for that so everyone uses a chair.
Everyone knows about propping the door open with a chair because everyone does it - and alarm bells would go off if a teacher was 1-1 and didn't do it.
Report.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 22/01/2022 07:05

I’ma teacher and the open door for one to one meetings really is drilled into us as a rule. If he’s closing the door, it’s an active choice to do that that he has thought about.

On the other hand, I have commented on students’ hair/ mood/ hole in their tights before. But the closed door is an absolute no.

Fuuuuuckit · 22/01/2022 07:12

@Pinkflask

The door locking is enough on its own - it’s against every safeguarding rule there is and definitely worth repeating.
This with bells on.

1:1 meetings are absolutely open-door events. At the very least the teacher is risking an accusation for that alone.

Ask to speak to someone in person first thing on Monday.

Actually, if you can email the school, sometimes they might have a 'if you're concerned about a safeguarding issue click here' email address.

A lot of safeguarding is on gut feeling. My gut is churning with what you wrote op.

tiredanddangerous · 22/01/2022 07:17

No teacher should ever be behind a closed door with a student. Massive safeguarding red flag and you should absolutely call the school.

sashh · 22/01/2022 07:26

@Andformynexttrick

Indeed it does *@GrazingSheep* -actually I’m probably thinking ahead to how school would deal with it; his word against theirs/my DD having to make a statement or whatever/other students getting involved/repercussions on DD GCSE etc etc. I realise that my main concern should simply be to bring it to their attention.
Don't think ahead, just report.

Some things can be dealt with without your DDs input, ie the locked door, as well as a red flag it's a fire hazard and a possible health and safety breach, say the teacher had a heart attack and the child could not get out to get help.

Any head teacher can state in a meeting that locking doors is banned. I spent years doing supply and I have yet to come across a classroom where they door can be locked from the inside without a means of opening it without a key. Lots of places have doors that lock automatically but they normally let you out.

One school I worked in had little pods, they were like a spiral so no door to go through, they were completely clear Perspex so you and the child (or two members of staff) could be seen.

As I'm disabled I need to use the lift, I only get in if I am alone, if there is a student then I want another student or another member of staff with me.

Decide how you want it to proceed.