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Original poster

To be concerned about secondary school teacher conduct

79 replies

Andformynexttrick · 21/01/2022 22:33

Late to MN & first post- please be gentle. . . Y10 DD has mentioned a few times previously in passing that her male middle aged teacher is a bit creepy. He has been her drama/music teacher since Y7. Today we spoke at length and I heard myself suggesting that she try to avoid reacting to his comments to avoid drawing him any more. Then realised it’s surely wrong for a child to need to do that to avoid feeling uncomfortable in class/after school club. He doesn’t target her specifically - many of the girls are on the receiving end. Comments on appearance (nice eyeliner today/you’ve got a hole in your tights), or demeanour (‘moody teenager’), or engaging in conversations she feels are none of his business (which is your favourite friend/parent). Also loads of merit marks, come to think of it.
None of this is overt and probably is just his manner . . . but he is apparently widely referred to as ‘p*o Name’ by the students.
More concerning is that he apparently locks the classroom for 1-1 student meetings (happened to her once) requiring child to have to ask to be let out (key code). Feel like I want to go to school with this but not sure (can of worms)???

OP posts:
PenguinMama · 22/01/2022 07:48

Secondary teacher/safeguarding lead here.

Report to the headteacher and if they don't do anything, go to the chair of governors.

Locking the door is a big safeguarding concern and needs investigating. The comments/lots of points etc. sounds like "low level concerns" (current terminology, not me trying to say it's not important) which also need investigating - so that they don't turn into a big concern although the door locking is one too.

LucyOrli · 22/01/2022 07:55

Another teacher here: report it report it report it. The door thing alone is a red flag and when child protection is even a vague question, it’s a case of better to be over-vigilant than not. If he’s innocent then he’ll receive some much-needed training.

BritishDesiGirl · 22/01/2022 08:08

Teacher here. Report it. The door locking is completely unacceptable and not justifiable in anyway. In our school if the door is closed teacher and student should be sat so that they are visible. And the doors are never locked, except for when we do a lockdown drill.

Laffielle · 22/01/2022 08:08

I was at school 20+ years ago. There was a teacher that had the nickname Peado Pete. Everyone knew he was creepy, parents had to have known too. About 5 years ago he was exposed in the local paper as he had been caught and sent to prison. I wish someone had spoken out back then, he was able to abuse children for decades.

thatsnotabadger · 22/01/2022 08:14

Speak to school about the door locking. I was always told never to be 1-1 with a child, for many different reasons it's a bad idea. The idea of locking a child in a classroom alone with the teacher Shock

schoolsoutforever · 22/01/2022 08:21

Yes, open doors for all 1-1s (if you have them at all). The nice eyeliner type comments, I'm sure I might/do make, and in my experience are usually something students don't mind or respond well to (sometimes compliments help to win over surly students). It's a bit much to expect all teachers to be robots and say anything other than teaching content when your entire working life is spent engaging young people's interest. Moody teenager comment was a bit off imo but maybe a bad attempt at humour? In the past I over worried about things I said, now I try not to worry too much because I'm doing the best job I can of teaching. However, 1-1s definitely no locked room. Just query it with the head of dept, whilst chatting you could subtly bring up anything else you are concerned about.

schoolsoutforever · 22/01/2022 08:24

Second thoughts - yes report to Headteacher re safeguarding as others have said.

Iom92 · 22/01/2022 08:25

You need to ask to speak to the designated safeguarding lead and report it to them. Keep it factual…the door locking alone is enough to be a MAJOR concern, a list of comments made and how that has made your daughter feel. This is extremely concerning and the school need to act immediately.

dapsnotplimsolls · 22/01/2022 08:32

Email the Head so you have a paper trail. Make it clear that it's a safeguarding issue in the title of your email. The locked door is completely unacceptable.

Clawdy · 22/01/2022 08:38

Pretty certain even in primary schools a teacher will leave the classroom door open when talking to one child.

BeeDeBeeee · 22/01/2022 09:01

Please report. Please please please report.

School will question him and at least tell him the proper safeguarding procedures (always leave your door open). If it isn't dodgy then he will change how he is.

So many people don't report and that's how people get away with things.

Stellaaaaaaaah · 22/01/2022 09:07

A grown male authority figure should not be commenting on a girl's eyeliner or tights. Too personal and creepy. He should not intrude on a child's home relationships. Inappropriate and breaking a boundary, which are under grooming definitions. Locked door, that's what the US TV guys did who were accused of sex offenses. This teacher is a creep who gets off on intimidating girls. He should not be getting tax payers money for that.

Happymum12345 · 22/01/2022 09:16

‘Apparently locking the doors for 1:1’ sounds weak as a argument to me. Yes, by all means alert the school in case he is doing that, which would be wrong but I highly doubt it. The school would have picked up on that by now.

Twitterwhooooo · 22/01/2022 09:21

Look up the school's safeguarding policy (should be on their website) and follow that.

cc the Head into the email that you write.

Keep it short and factual eg my dd felt uncomfortable with x comment, appears that other girls do as Mr X is known as 'pervy teacher' within the student body.

Shut and locked door during 1:1 meeting with a student - concerned that this isn't in keeping with school's own guidelines etc.

Don't feel bad about contacting the school. The teacher has either made a series of ill-judged decisions about how to act around students and needs support and guidance to recognise and change this or he's a creep who needs calling out.

shouldistop · 22/01/2022 09:22

@Happymum12345

‘Apparently locking the doors for 1:1’ sounds weak as a argument to me. Yes, by all means alert the school in case he is doing that, which would be wrong but I highly doubt it. The school would have picked up on that by now.
Why do you doubt it? A teacher at my school was taking girls into his cupboard to molest them during school hours. It came out years later.
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 22/01/2022 09:23

Doors don’t have to be open for 1-1 with students, it’s better for the teacher for them to be but most the time I have sensitive conversations with kids so my door is closed. However, it being locked is madness and I would report this ASAP to the safeguarding lead. Comments also are inappropriate, he needs speaking to be a member of SLT

Bortles · 22/01/2022 09:28

Yes, go to the school. At least it'll ensure the 1 to 1s dont happen.

My partner and I and a mutual friend all attended different schools. Each of our music teachers was fired for inappropriate conduct. At college, I struck up a friendship with a drama professor who, it transpired, had been fired from two schools for 'relationships' with pupils or newly graduated pupils. He went on to pursue me. It's more common than you'd like to think.

Original poster
Andformynexttrick · 22/01/2022 09:30

@Stellaaaaaaaah - yes these are my thoughts really. DD states that no other teacher she has ever encountered makes her feel as uncomfortable as him.

@schoolsoutforever - To start with I was thinking it’s his manner, but DD says he doesn’t behave like that with the boys. It might be banter that works ok with younger ones but I guess by the time you are 14+ things change. Being conflict averse I started suggesting she be very neutral when he says these sorts of things so as not to encourage (which of course we might do as an adult in certain situations). But then I remembered she’s a child, he’s the teacher & why should she adapt her behaviour in that way to avoid feeling uncomfortable.
She hasn’t mentioned it to me before now, but I think with her recent experience with army cadets who are very proper in their dealings safeguarding wise (even the older teenaged cadets), as well as all her other teachers, it was a stark contrast which she felt able to bring to my attention.

@Laffielle - yes I caught myself thinking what if his behaviour turns into something more in the future.

So thanks for the recent comments - I’m reassured that it would not be wrong to bring my concerns to school.
PP signposted me to school website for safeguarding contact & sure enough there’s an email address. A job for the weekend.
Your input all much appreciated tks.

OP posts:
Sparticuscaticus · 22/01/2022 09:38

I think you should address this . Email the Head Teacher and be factual that DD feels uncomfortable around him and actively tries to avoid him, several other girls in the class/ year have said same. Then bullet point your list. Ask them to keep DDs name anonymous and ask if they can please address this

Whilst it may feel a shock or hurtful to that teacher to have this raised if he has purely meant these things innocuously and as an effort to be kind, I am sure any teacher especially innocent - would far prefer to have this raised with him so that he can change his conduct and alter how he may be coming across to young girls in his school.

So you don't need to decide if it's all innocent , but you do have a right (& I'd say a responsibility) to bring it to the attention of the HT.

Rivermonsters · 22/01/2022 09:39

Please tell the school safeguarding lead OP; I had a history teacher like this (2 years ago!). still regret not saying anything

schoolsoutforever · 22/01/2022 09:40

Yes, you should go to speak with the head or phone the safeguarding lead. If she feels uncomfortable that's not on. I was entirely encouraging you to go, now that you have contextualised it then even more reason to go. But yes the door in itself is a huge issue. Wasn't trying to excuse anything in his behaviour, just explaining that some of the comments seem inoffensive to me, others more offensive. I would always urge any parent to investigate/'report' any issues - at the very least it makeresult in the teacher being more thoughtful about how he approaches students/1-1s.

Original poster
Andformynexttrick · 22/01/2022 09:46

@Happymum12345 - you may be right, and as PP asked- did the door just swing shut or was it closed and locked on purpose. Its true I have no idea about how it happens - I didn’t ask DD about that on the one occasion she was in the room.
But the drama/music Dept is set apart from the main building and a small faculty (DD says only 2 drama teachers) so maybe slightly off the radar there . . .
@Bortles - the nature of these subjects may lend themselves to a certain informality in teaching style. He seems to be very ‘down with the kids’ but a bit much sometimes for DD liking. Unfortunately little choice for her, it’s either a creep or a dragon for a drama teacher 🤔

OP posts:
Original poster
Andformynexttrick · 22/01/2022 10:08

@Sparticuscaticus - good points thank you. Helps me see the positives in disclosing the info.

@schoolsoutforever - yes I understand what you meant - I didn’t make much of it initially because it could be innocuous of course. Last thing I want to do is set hares running unnecessarily. But I feel that level of awkwardness for a kid is wrong & he creeps her out like no other teacher ever! Let alone the door question.
So worth a mention definitely.
Good advice from PPs on how to do this. Particularly the anonymity bit which I was concerned about.
Got online parents evening this week so will listen to him with particular interest . . .

OP posts:
MolkosTeenageAngst · 22/01/2022 10:20

We had a teacher at school like this, all the girls thought him creepy and I remember both me and my sister telling our parents how he would look down girls tops and say inappropriate things. We were also convinced he was in a relationship with one of the girls in a year above. Our parents didn’t take it seriously.

Then he was arrested (and later convicted) for sex offences with that 15 year old pupil at the school plus historic charges from another girl who had since left school but had been an underage pupil at the time.

If something is telling you something might be untoward here it’s definitely worth raising it with the school because unfortunately these men exist. This teacher’s behaviour really was creepy and obvious but when as children we raised it it was just brushed off as us being ridiculous because of course a teacher wouldn’t act like that.

neverbeenskiing · 22/01/2022 11:01

I am a school safeguarding lead. I disagree with what many posters have said about how a door should NEVER be closed when having 1:1 conversations in school. In an ideal world doors should be kept open, where possible. But at secondary school level it's not always realistic. In the last couple of weeks alone we've had students disclose to Teachers concerns about unsolicited nude photos, sexual abuse in the home, drug use and a parent attempting suicide. Most teenagers won't discuss those things with the door open in a busy School environment. Locking the door? Completely unnecessary and not acceptable.