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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

10 year old getting nails done

151 replies

Monkey987 · 21/01/2022 21:01

Are we being unreasonable to take 10 year old DSD to get nails done.
Dad has had some health problems so hasn't been able to see her since Christmas so he would like to spoil her a little bit.
DSD lives quite far away and we're running out of fun contact ideas for the winter. Usually we would go to the park/walks etc but it's too cold.
So my question is are we being unreasonable to go and get our nails done. Obviously she would have something discrete and school friendly.
What is acceptable for a 10 year old (year 6) to have done?
I was thinking simple nail varnish/ maybe gel so it lasts longer? Is that too much for a 10 year old?
I'm not really a nail person so don't really know what to ask for.
How much roughly would you expect to spend?

OP posts:
wishiwasinfiji · 21/01/2022 23:00

My 10 year old had gels in the summer. They rough the nail up slightly to make the gel stay on better but it's not extreme. They last for about 3 weeks. My dd was so excited to have proper nails done that she was very careful and they lasted the full 3 weeks. You can take them off by soaking a bit of cotton wool in nail varnish remover, putting it over the nail and wrapping in foil for 5-10 mins.
I think it's a lovely idea.

gogohm · 21/01/2022 23:00

A manicure with normal varnish is fine but avoid gel as it needs to be professionally removed.

I've taken my DD's when they were younger

Tsuni · 21/01/2022 23:01

@Toottooot

I would be amazed if any salon agreed to put gel polish on a 10 year old.
I can’t imagine a salon that wouldn’t. Businesses want to make money.
HW1989 · 21/01/2022 23:01

Gel, no. Just manicure and polish, absolutely

UndertheCedartree · 21/01/2022 23:02

@SavoyCabbage

Why would she have to be quiet? I imagine she'd have to be quiet because that's the expected behaviour in a nail salon. As opposed to a theme park, roller rink or bowling alley which are activities that children don't have to be quiet whilst doing.
I always have a chat if having my nails done. My 9 yo is capable of having a chat without making an unacceptable amount of noise for half an hour. It's not exactly difficult for a 10 yo - a toddler or infant school age child but not a 10 yo, surely?
UndertheCedartree · 21/01/2022 23:08

[quote TheOccupier]@underthecedartree you do have to be relatively quiet at a nail salon, assuming it's one geared to adults.

It's just a depressing idea. Nobody would take a little boy to the barbershop and expect him to see it as a wonderful treat. The whole thing of beautifying being sold to women as "pampering" or an indulgence is bullshit and pushing it onto young girls is grim.

If I was going to plan an indoor treat for a 10yo girl at this time of year I'd be thinking about these ideas - some of which could be combined with others:
Theatre (maybe a musical, or the Harry Potter play if you can get to London)
Cinema (VIP seating, pick n mix, popcorn)
Pop concert
Trampoline park
Fancy afternoon tea in a posh hotel
Indoor roller/ice skating
A fun diner style place for burgers, waffles, freakshakes
Climbing wall
Make/paint your own pottery
Laser tag
Cooking/baking class

Not a beauty treatment.[/quote]
We did self-care as a sensory and relaxing activity for men and women in hospital. I've done it as much with my DS as my DD. I don't think anyone of either sex should be shamed for enjoying a bit of self care.

Original poster
Monkey987 · 21/01/2022 23:14

@TheOccupier

Yeah, have to admit I was so disgusted at the thought of dragging a little girl to a beauty salon I missed the broken knee. Still, plenty of the suggestions on my list would work. Not sure why a nail salon is being considered if the idea is something nice to do with her dad anyway!
Because her dad knows what she enjoys doing and is happy to sit and spend time with her chatting whilst she gets her nails painted and is enjoying herself. My partner loves having a little girl and treats her like his little princess. I don't see the problem. We do all the other activities you have suggested. Are you suggesting dad's shouldn't do girly things with their daughters?
OP posts:
Shoemadlady · 21/01/2022 23:16

Gel nails are not suitable for a 10 year old. They need to be UV cured and removed using pure acetone. If they pull off or rip when she's at school it will damage her nail bed and hurt. Completely unsuitable. Polish May come off but it won't cause any pain or damage.
What does her mom think? I'd be very cross if anyone put gel nails on my 10 year old

Original poster
Monkey987 · 21/01/2022 23:22

Exactly!
She is definetely capable of sitting quietly for 30mins.
Shes more mature than her own dad!
10 going on 21...
That's why we're looking for different activities to do with her.

OP posts:
Moonlaserbearwolf · 21/01/2022 23:23

Gel is absolutely fine for a 10 year old.
My 10 year old is really into fashion and had her nails done for the first time before Christmas. They lasted about 2 weeks because we went swimming a lot over Christmas and they started to peel off. I wouldn't have let her keep them on much beyond two weeks anyway as I'd have been concerned about weakening the nail.
Some 10 year olds wouldn't be interested in having their nails done, but for those that are I think it's no big deal.

Sux2Buthen · 21/01/2022 23:24

@TheOccupier

Yeah, have to admit I was so disgusted at the thought of dragging a little girl to a beauty salon I missed the broken knee. Still, plenty of the suggestions on my list would work. Not sure why a nail salon is being considered if the idea is something nice to do with her dad anyway!
Disgusted Grin Prime Mumsnet
Original poster
Monkey987 · 21/01/2022 23:30

@Shoemadlady

Gel nails are not suitable for a 10 year old. They need to be UV cured and removed using pure acetone. If they pull off or rip when she's at school it will damage her nail bed and hurt. Completely unsuitable. Polish May come off but it won't cause any pain or damage. What does her mom think? I'd be very cross if anyone put gel nails on my 10 year old
He would obviously talk to her mum. We're not complete psychopaths.

I'm a little bit offended you're assuming my partner is 'one of those' dad's.
They have a very open Co parenting relationship. I've been with my partner since DSD was 4 and we all know each other well.
If anything DSDs mum didnt consult my partner when she pierced DSD ears for her 9th birthday. Are you cross about that?

OP posts:
Original poster
Monkey987 · 21/01/2022 23:38

@Moonlaserbearwolf

Gel is absolutely fine for a 10 year old. My 10 year old is really into fashion and had her nails done for the first time before Christmas. They lasted about 2 weeks because we went swimming a lot over Christmas and they started to peel off. I wouldn't have let her keep them on much beyond two weeks anyway as I'd have been concerned about weakening the nail. Some 10 year olds wouldn't be interested in having their nails done, but for those that are I think it's no big deal.
This is interesting. Everybody so far has said otherwise. DSD is very active and does swimming lessons once a week. How do we remove them after a couple of weeks? Or do they fall off gradually? Obviously we don't want her nails weakened.
OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 21/01/2022 23:43

Nails sounds a lovely idea if a natural colour or school will ask for it to be removed. But the appointment would be really short and not kill much time!

But if it's 45 mins then wouldn't it make sense to go and collect her, all have a good chat and catch up on the way back to yours, spend that 4-6 hours with her in your own town where you say there's more to do (or at your place if it's ridiculously cold) then just drive her home afterwards?

Moonlaserbearwolf · 21/01/2022 23:49

Our DD was swimming every day in the sea and/or pool, so I don't know how long they would have lasted if she hadn't been swimming so much. A couple came off while she was swimming and so over the next few days she peeled off the others.

Original poster
Monkey987 · 22/01/2022 00:10

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Nails sounds a lovely idea if a natural colour or school will ask for it to be removed. But the appointment would be really short and not kill much time!

But if it's 45 mins then wouldn't it make sense to go and collect her, all have a good chat and catch up on the way back to yours, spend that 4-6 hours with her in your own town where you say there's more to do (or at your place if it's ridiculously cold) then just drive her home afterwards?

We're happy to drive around its more we don't want her being bored sitting in the car. My partner sits in the back with her but it's still not the same as actually doing something fun. They often spend time at our house baking, doing art stuff and watching films but he wanted to do something special as they havnt seen eachother for 3 weeks.
OP posts:
Original poster
Monkey987 · 22/01/2022 00:17

@Moonlaserbearwolf

Our DD was swimming every day in the sea and/or pool, so I don't know how long they would have lasted if she hadn't been swimming so much. A couple came off while she was swimming and so over the next few days she peeled off the others.
That doesn't sound like ages. That's kinda what we're after. Her mum and I are not nail people so have no idea how long these kinda things last. I was under the impression gel nails grew out with the nail so wouldn't damage the nail as much. Can we just leave them until they grow out or is this not how it works?
OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 22/01/2022 00:43

We're happy to drive around its more we don't want her being bored sitting in the car. My partner sits in the back with her but it's still not the same as actually doing something fun.

It's only 45 mins though! Top Trumps in the back of the car? Maybe one themed to something she's into - seems to be a set for everything now! That and a good catch up will see 45 mins fly by. Could play some other games. I spent a good hour doing Harry Potter quizzes with my 11 year old relative recently!

Remember, they'd spend that much time chatting anyway, just not in the car usually, so just see it as lovely dad and daughter (and you!) time. That's what I would do anyway Smile

Heartofglass12345 · 22/01/2022 02:11

I don't think school would be an issue at that age surely? My boys have had their nails painted going into school before and they've never said anything. I think it's a lovely idea if you think she would like it Smile

HappyDays40 · 22/01/2022 02:23

I think people's ideas about being too young are way off. It is nails not a face full of make up. Nails are totally not my thing qnd I was more of a park kinda gal but my sister wasn't qnd hated cold weather and walks. I think we just have to accept that some children love getting their nails done, they love being pampered in this way. I'm sure if your niece has her nails done OP she is not going to sink into a pit of self obsession and adulthood.

timshortfforthalia · 22/01/2022 02:36

@TheOccupier

How sad to teach a child that sitting still and quiet while her perfectly nice natural nails are "beautified" is something she should be grateful for. The girls I know of that age would hate it.

Why don't you take her to the theatre/cinema?

You know you're meant to be quiet in the theatre and at the cinema, right? And talking is fairly standard in a nail salon Grin
PersonCareHotline · 22/01/2022 02:44

Sounds like a lovely idea, especially as it’s the kind of thing she would like.

I think you’ve gotten a very hard time on here for something that’s just being kind and thoughtful.

nalabae · 22/01/2022 04:55

Nothing wrong

DSGR · 22/01/2022 07:49

You sound like a lovely stepmum by the way.
I think you’re getting some grief on here simply because you’re a stepmum!
I’d avoid gels and go for regular polish. How lovely!

Briony123 · 22/01/2022 08:11

More clothes on and the park would be infinitely more fun, surely? Getting nails done is boring for adults!