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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

10 year old getting nails done

151 replies

Monkey987 · 21/01/2022 21:01

Are we being unreasonable to take 10 year old DSD to get nails done.
Dad has had some health problems so hasn't been able to see her since Christmas so he would like to spoil her a little bit.
DSD lives quite far away and we're running out of fun contact ideas for the winter. Usually we would go to the park/walks etc but it's too cold.
So my question is are we being unreasonable to go and get our nails done. Obviously she would have something discrete and school friendly.
What is acceptable for a 10 year old (year 6) to have done?
I was thinking simple nail varnish/ maybe gel so it lasts longer? Is that too much for a 10 year old?
I'm not really a nail person so don't really know what to ask for.
How much roughly would you expect to spend?

OP posts:
DSGR · 22/01/2022 09:02

My girls would much prefer the salon to the park at that age. You know your daughter

whysitspicey · 22/01/2022 09:17

@Briony123

More clothes on and the park would be infinitely more fun, surely? Getting nails done is boring for adults!
It's boring for you. I don't find it boring.
ElectraBlue · 22/01/2022 09:30

Rather silly don't you think?

Also teaches her that appearance and grooming is what matters most to women...

If you want to give her a treat find something that can be fun and engage her brain too.

It is hardly Siberia either so unless there is a medical reason why she can't go out, you could find another activity outdoor to give her a treat.

whysitspicey · 22/01/2022 09:51

You could always ring a local salon and ask them some advice about gel nails for children OP. You've had lots of conflicting information about safety on this thread so think it's best to talk with a professional about it.

JigglyPiggly · 22/01/2022 09:59

@TheOccupier

How sad to teach a child that sitting still and quiet while her perfectly nice natural nails are "beautified" is something she should be grateful for. The girls I know of that age would hate it.

Why don't you take her to the theatre/cinema?

Would you say the same had the OP suggested a cinema trip?

Have to be quiet there for ages

Also, have you ever had your nails done? Of course you don't have to be quiet, most people chat.

Matbest · 22/01/2022 10:26

I took my 5 year old with me to get mine done on my birthday last year. They did hers at the same time, just bog standard nail polish which was off by the Monday. She absolutely loved it. She also loves a wide range of other activities including playing outside - getting your nails painted a fun colour shouldn't be disregarded just because it is stereotypically female activity.

DSGR · 22/01/2022 10:49

@ElectraBlue

Rather silly don't you think?

Also teaches her that appearance and grooming is what matters most to women...

If you want to give her a treat find something that can be fun and engage her brain too.

It is hardly Siberia either so unless there is a medical reason why she can't go out, you could find another activity outdoor to give her a treat.

Oh please, it does nothing of the sort. I have two degrees and a senior level job. I love getting my nails done.. for ME. It might not be your thing but it’s certainly mine.. not at all silly. OP if you think she’d like it go for it. Ask her! Many kids would love it
Glugglejug · 22/01/2022 11:28

@DSGR I totally agree! I am (amongst many things) a scientist and you can pry the shallac out of (or off!) my cold dead hands. I love getting my nails done. I’m not shallow or self obsessed and the way I look is something to have fun with and be enjoyed - but it is not at all the most important thing about me. Apparently some of these posters on mumsnet are incapable of holding more than one thought in their heads though - it is perfectly possible to be an interesting, well educated woman with wider interests and hobbies AND get your nails done occasionally. Fuuuuuucking hell.

DSGR · 22/01/2022 11:34

@Glugglejug 100% agree.

Isthisprivate · 22/01/2022 11:39

Rather silly don't you think?

Also teaches her that appearance and grooming is what matters most to women

What about entrepreneurship through female business management

whynotwhatknot · 22/01/2022 11:58

growing them out will takes months op and then you cant be sure her school allows gels or bright colours

check with her mum first but i doubt it

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 22/01/2022 15:30

DS 10 has just told me that when England were playing, a girl in his class (yr6) had England flags on her nails. His school really doesn't care. It's much stricter at DS 14's secondary school.

JigglyPiggly · 22/01/2022 15:40

@whynotwhatknot

growing them out will takes months op and then you cant be sure her school allows gels or bright colours

check with her mum first but i doubt it

Or they could get them removed in a week...

Goodness there are some absolutely strange comments on this thread

wishiwasinfiji · 22/01/2022 15:54

Just had another thought, what about one of those paint a pot places too? My girls liked them at that age

DSGR · 22/01/2022 17:16

So much melodrama.. gels can be removed really fast

MrsPotatoHead22 · 22/01/2022 17:38

I shall be taking my two under 10 girls in the near future. 😃

ElectraBlue · 22/01/2022 18:17

@DSGR ''Oh please, it does nothing of the sort. I have two degrees and a senior level job. I love getting my nails done.. for ME. It might not be your thing but it’s certainly mine.. not at all silly.
OP if you think she’d like it go for it. Ask her! Many kids would love it''

Missing the point entirely...

This is a kid, not an adult woman.

My criticism is not about applying nail polish or make-up per se.

It is about bringing up girls not to think that nail polish is the ultimate treat...there are better things to treat them with and to open up their horizons when they are 10 years old.

Applying nail polish is a pretty banal activity that takes a few minutes. I am sure she can do better than that to surprise her daughter...

DSGR · 22/01/2022 18:50

😂 Hilarious! So you don’t think mothers who let their kids go to the salon don’t also take them to museums, on walks, on exciting cultural holidays and day trips, don’t encourage them at school or broaden their horizons in a million other ways? Of course they do, come on.

LeSquigh · 22/01/2022 19:02

School wont allow nail varnish here but we allow them in school holidays. My DD is 4, yes FOUR! and she loves getting her nails done in the salon. Just normal nail varnish, not gel as its damaging but there is no harm in a bit of nail varnish occasionally.

TheOccupier · 22/01/2022 21:28

@DSGR

😂 Hilarious! So you don’t think mothers who let their kids go to the salon don’t also take them to museums, on walks, on exciting cultural holidays and day trips, don’t encourage them at school or broaden their horizons in a million other ways? Of course they do, come on.
In my experience, the sort of people who think devoting time, effort and money to trying to meet patriarchal beauty standards is some sort of wonderful indulgence don't actually do as much of the nice things you've mentioned as women who don't see beautification as a treat.
EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 22/01/2022 21:46

Gel polish isn't a problem. I wouldn't go for gel nails at that age though. Growing them out isn't an easy thing to do , you catch them as they get longer and it bloody hurts if you break one .

5128gap · 22/01/2022 21:49

Getting your nails done is not meeting a patriarchal beauty standard. Do you really think men care about whether a woman has painted nails or not? It doesn't make her even slightly more attractive to them. Painted nails are for the sole benefit and pleasure of the person whose fingers they adorn and are barely noticed by anyone but her, and other women.

Isthisprivate · 22/01/2022 22:26

In my experience, the sort of people who think devoting time, effort and money to trying to meet patriarchal beauty standards is some sort of wonderful indulgence don't actually do as much of the nice things you've mentioned as women who don't see beautification as a treat

And this is why women will never be seen as equals. I love a good pampering, I do it for me and nobody else - I have covid so can’t leave the house, I’ve spent hours this week doing my nails and playing around with makeup. It will all be gone before I’m back at work.

I work in STEM, I have a very good job that uses my degree and enjoy a wide range of activities. At work the only people that have ever put me down have been other women.

If you want to help feminism then boost women up rather than pulling them down, you will feel much better when you go to bed at night.

RJnomore1 · 23/01/2022 02:03

Likewise. I’m a last stage doctoral candidate with a senior public sector job who also teachs at uni part time.

I also love getting my hair and nails done.

Graphista · 23/01/2022 02:38

No way! She's too young and school would likely not allow it anyway and not good for young nails/skin. Also it won't even use that much time up.

For winter activities - cinema, theatre, bowling, indoor "rock climbing", many bowling places also have pool tables which can be fun too, go swimming (esp popular if you have a water park type place nearby), theme park, ice or roller skating depending what's near you, if you have a dry slopes place then there's usually some activities there, meals out (doesn't have to be expensive but somewhere that's a sit down meal and have a chat and get to know her), if it's dry no reason not to wrap up warm and go a nice walk, pottery cafe, any good museums or art galleries near you? Lots of these kind of places do kids activities at the weekends and school holidays. Mostly arts and crafts stuff.

Google "free and cheap kids activities [your nearest large town/city]"

That'll give you loads of ideas

So she doesn't come to yours for contact?

Then Google for the place you're going to, ask her for ideas ask mum for ideas...

Ahh ok broken knee rules out the active stuff for dad. Although pool playing could still work depending how mobile he is (he can sit when it's not his turn)

But cinema, theatre, museums, art galleries, pottery places may work

Large Museums etc generally have loanable wheelchairs/scooters that dad could use.

Yes pick up a pack of cards or dominos and take them to a family friendly pub/dinner place to play great idea! Some of these kinds pubs even have board games and cards and dominos on site for patrons to use.

But I'll leave the active ideas there you might be able to use them once dad back on his feet properly always good to have as many ideas as possible