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AIBU?

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Original poster

Comments about toddlers in double beds

200 replies

User135792468 · 21/01/2022 20:40

I have a 4 and 2.5 year old and the 4 year old has had a double bed bed since he came out of the cot bed so I could use it for ds2. A few weeks back, we decided that it was time to get ds2 his first proper bed and also went for a double.

The amount of comments I’ve had about how a toddler doesn’t need a double bed and a bit of an eye roll that I got them one is starting to irritate me. I don’t understand why people care? We like the doubles as we lay in bed and read books before bed and the dc like having sleepovers with each other. It seems as though people think it’s an odd way to one-up someone though.

To clarify, I wasn’t discussing it, just had friends over for a play date who then saw it and mentioned it in a bigger group of friends when we were out and it became a topic of conversation. There’s plenty of space for wardrobes and floor space to play so I don’t get the issue.

Is it that odd to have a double bed for young dc who are either pre school or primary age? What does everyone else have out of curiosity?

Yabu - yes, toddlers really don’t need a double bed

Yanbu - people need to mind their own business

OP posts:
BigPlanes · 21/01/2022 23:10

In one group of my friends every kid has a double. In another group no-one does so some people do do this as standard.

Mine has a bed that can be either and has decided to pull it out so it’s a double. Very little other space in the room but we have a large house so it really doesn’t matter. Child is happy, child is sleeping. Wish I had done it years ago.

MintLampShade · 21/01/2022 23:13

YANBU. My toddler is 2 and has a double bed. There is room for it, it's comfy and spacious! Plus it's practical for us. He never had a cot and was a cosleeper / bed sharer from birth and now that he is in his own room, he still wakes some nights so it's easy for DH or me to just snuggle up to him and still have a good night sleep ourselves if we end up staying there.

Absolutely none of anyone's business what your children are sleeping in...

maddiemookins16mum · 21/01/2022 23:23

I don’t know anyone with houses that have bedrooms big enough for doubles for small wains if they have a room each. Our first three bedroom house would never had got a double in the smallest bedroom. The second room yes (but not much else). It’s not the norm I think (and the unspoken thinking is that double beds are for ‘couples’ to sleep in and not toddlers. However, DD was in a 4ft double (came from MIL’s spare room) at age 9 and it was a squeeze for her smallish single room - which luckily had a built in cupboard.

Oddbobbyboo · 21/01/2022 23:24

This is a brilliant idea…. Can’t believe I didn’t think of it myself 🤷‍♀️ X very cosy effective x

It’s madness…. people and their opinions x

CheeseMmmm · 21/01/2022 23:34

We could no way fit doubles in kids rooms!

I mean people commenting with OP, how do they know?

In practice it's probably negative comments because of usually stuff like-

  • If telling I mean anyone really about getting a bed. I mean it's not exactly enthralling is it. To others. How even come up? So IF mentioning then plenty would think why telling me? To say 'subtly' we got great big house?

  • Person told feels inadequate in some way that their kid/s missing out on some way. Get defensive. What's wrong with single (that's all we can fit/afford).

  • Having had it brought up. And what said? I can't imagine it tbh.
    Hello friend/ DH sister/ chatty man in corner shop/ school gate mum talk to while wait kids.
    Guess what! We just got double bed for kiddo!
    In which case other person thinks. Well that's a bizarre thing to mention. So what? Need to say something. Um. Why double bed? Singles fine for little ones...

OP had fair few comments, how even come up?!

CheeseMmmm · 21/01/2022 23:36

Sorry OP reread.

Why were group of mums from playgroup in DC bedroom?

Unless one of those houses have to go through bedroom to get to toilet or something.

getsanta · 21/01/2022 23:40

My daughter went straight to a double from the cot. She moves out and into ours every time nanny comes to visit. Can't imagine my mum in a kid's single. That our reality.

CeleriacOfTheNight · 21/01/2022 23:41

I shared a SINGLE bed with my sibling up until I left home.
Well actually I didn't, as I spent the final year sleeping on the sofa, as it became untenable.

It did me no harm at all, except for making me determined to leave home earlier than some of my friends, to find my own space.

Regardless, I bought my own children double beds. More space, better for sleeping, didn't fall out (and none of them wet the bed after potty training).

The only downside was when they were little, and wanted character/ themed bedding and they had to have plain. Diddums.

Farrandau · 21/01/2022 23:47

@CheeseMmmm

Sorry OP reread.

Why were group of mums from playgroup in DC bedroom?

Unless one of those houses have to go through bedroom to get to toilet or something.

Well, posters on Mn think it’s normal to expect and give house ‘tours’ when you move or renovate, so perhaps it was on one of these that guests inspected her toddler’s bed size?

)I’ve always found the tours thing on here deeply odd — I’m barely interested in my own bathroom tiles, far less anyone else’s!

Buttermaflooby · 21/01/2022 23:48

Alright for some that they have the space for two double beds for toddlers! I mean having said that I'd absolutely do it if I could. Maybe then I wouldn't currently be crammed into a bottom bunk waiting for my 3 year old to go back to sleep after his bad dream! Ha.

SleepingStandingUp · 21/01/2022 23:52

I don't care where your child sleeps as long as their safe and comfortable.

But I don't get the point about having to replace it in a few years. I didn't have a double until I moved out, so a single bed brought for me at 3/4 would have lasted until it broke. Why do people feel it needs to be sized up unless they're having partners sleeping over?

Crackercrazy · 21/01/2022 23:55

I’m very envious of all these doubles - I grew up in a tiny house, my sister and I had to share bunk beds. My DC would love a double bed, but they also have small rooms.

OfstedOffred · 22/01/2022 00:05

I always find it weird when people justify it based on a double lasting longer than a single.

A 3ft single is a bed for an adult. Its what many student halls provide for a fully grown adult. So it's not 100% clear how a double lasts longer.

To me there's a showy off element because in typical uk homes bedrooms aren't large, so to fit a double bed, storage and space for a toddler to play requires a bigger than average room, by choosing one you are advertising that.

JustKeepSwimmingJust · 22/01/2022 00:07

I’m glad I didn’t: DS was a bedwetter for several years and a single bed is less work to change 3-4 times a week, often at 3am.

Nothing intrinsically wrong with it though.

OfstedOffred · 22/01/2022 00:09

My kids have king size beds …..don’t let your heads explode now. And they have perfectly appropriate lovely children’s bedrooms with loads of space to play as the rooms are very large

And there it is right there.... the showing off.
Clearly its atypical to have bedrooms that large in the UK so you know full well your situation isnt the norm and you are simply showing off.

beautifullymad · 22/01/2022 00:15

All mine had/ have double beds. It's was so much easier to co-sleep and comfort a young child without the bother of making up extra beds in the middle of the night. It saved my sanity!

toomuchlaundry · 22/01/2022 00:21

I’m assuming the DC who gets the box room doesn’t get a double bed

OfstedOffred · 22/01/2022 00:22

Amazed by the number of people who think you need a double bed to co-sleep with a child Confused

Never been an issue fitting in my toddler's single with them..... wasnt an issue with 6ft 3 boyfriend fitting in a single with me at university either.

People never used to need this until it became fashionable to have it...

OfstedOffred · 22/01/2022 00:23

I’m assuming the DC who gets the box room doesn’t get a double bed

Gosh toomuch don't you know no one decent has a box room any more except me

Dancingonmoonlight · 22/01/2022 00:25

To me there's a showy off element because in typical uk homes bedrooms aren't large, so to fit a double bed, storage and space for a toddler to play requires a bigger than average room, by choosing one you are advertising that.

To be fair this is ridiculous.

I doubt anyone goes into a furniture shop and announces to everyone in there that they are there to buy a double bed for their child and I seriously doubt the sales assistant asks and then thinks to his or herself that someone is showing off.

I'd hazard a guess that many people on this thread have NEVER had this topic come up before in a conversation. It doesn't matter to anyone else surely how someone else 'chooses' to furnish their house.

By your logic if someone with one child should never 'choose' to buy a three bedroom house or someone with two children should never 'choose' to buy a four bedroom house because thats 'showing off'.

SirSamuelVimes · 22/01/2022 00:26

Yes, thinking back I've been two-up in a lot of single beds over the years... And I'm 5'11" and don't tend to go for shorter blokes! Wink

MintLampShade · 22/01/2022 00:31

@OfstedOffred

Amazed by the number of people who think you need a double bed to co-sleep with a child Confused

Never been an issue fitting in my toddler's single with them..... wasnt an issue with 6ft 3 boyfriend fitting in a single with me at university either.

People never used to need this until it became fashionable to have it...

I don't think I need a double bed to cosleep, I absolutely KNOW that I need a double bed as I am uncomfortable as hell in a single bed even by myself, let alone with a toddler who does regular 360 flips and kicks about in his sleep like a ninja. But good for you that you can, obviously ☺️

So no, it's not a fashion thing, it's an absolute necessity in our house. But hey, we are only having once child so we absolutely do have the space, without ever trying to make it sound like we live in mansion where our 11 kids have four pillar double beds in their bedrooms with attached en-suit.

Namenic · 22/01/2022 00:31

I’d find it unusual as it’d be cool to have a house large enough for double beds. I’d be a bit concerned that they would get used to a double bed, so find it hard at uni or hotels/hostels to stay in a single. But otherwise - crack on!

PrettyBluebells · 22/01/2022 00:36

I'm 54 and I've never had a single bed. I have suffered no damage as a result, lol

Daydreamsinsantafe · 22/01/2022 01:14

If you look on European websites, zara Home as an example, you’ll see that the children’s bedding goes up to a double. Large beds are quite standard in Europe & America actually. My children have kings or super kings. The rooms are large with very high ceilings so singles are disproportionate & would look silly. They would fall out of singles now because they are used to space.

I’ve had comments before too. I just smile & ask them with a little laugh why it upsets them. Soon shuts them up. It’s nothing more than jealousy. Your toddler isn’t supposed to be in a double because how dare you have the space!
I was in a single up until I left home but I grew up in a tiny house.

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