To want a synonym for "Did you mean to sound so rude?"

[TheLasrStraw]

That's what I need to say to a colleague but I think that makes me sound rude, and when they go low, I go high (as Michelle Obama says).

I've tried asking if they are OK and they were rude about that, and actually I don't care if a bully is ok or not.

So what do I say to acknowledge that they are repeatedly rude to me?

Ha! I'd be tempted to say nothing but take out a notepad and write it down in front of her.
To be used in evidence later.

Hope things improve for you OP.

[quote TheLasrStraw]@tragocardboardcopper They do belittle me when I don't know what they are talking about. So if I continue to say I don't understand, they'll get even more annoyed with me...what do I do then?[/quote]
Then you let them drop themselves in it.
Sounds like they will get angrier and hoist themselves with their own petard.

A colleague was trying this in a phonecall. As pp said, I returned silence (unusual for me). They got angrier and angrier and then dropped their fury into email. Handy.

One phrase I saw on here, would love to use, but in reality would not, is: "I'd like to agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong'.

@BringYourOwnBoris

Ha! I'd be tempted to say nothing but take out a notepad and write it down in front of her. To be used in evidence later.

Hope things improve for you OP.

This works , see my post at 9.30 yesterday

Hard to know without knowing exactly what they're saying to you, but what about;
'thats coming across like you mean to be upsetting/rude to me/other colleague. You need to moderate your language/tone in a work environment.'
With a possible addition of; 'is there a change of some sort you are trying to bring about by pointing X out?' if it seems like they have something useful to say