Can I wear a coat to a funeral which isn't black?!

[horsesanddrywhitewine]

We're going to a very formal and large funeral tomorrow of a family friend.

My black coat doesn't fit since having a baby 8 months ago. I said I'd wear my camel coloured one, my husband says that isn't an appropriate colour for a funeral.

I don't want to be cold, it's forecast cold tomorrow, can I wear it if I take it off once I get into church?

@DillDanding

Your partner is in the dark ages.

The days of wall to wall black st funerals is long gone.

I wore a camel coat to a funeral in December, it didn’t even occur to me not to.

Yes,even formal funerals are rarely all black these days. I've been to loads,sadly!

I would wear the black coat. It doesn’t really matter if your coat isn’t done up. Or do you have a friend you can borrow one off?

Maybe short on time now .but fil funeral got a black jacket from charity shop.fitted fine .guy in shop said I could return after for a refund! Obv didn't do this ! Only about a tenner or something

If you have a black scarf to wear under the collar of the camel coat I think it'll be fine

I did a quick google of Funeral Attire and this Pinterest came up and the first image is of a black dress with a camel coloured coat behind it:
pin.it/4E8VVUi

@TolkiensFallow

I’m surprised by the number of people who think this doesn’t matter. If the family request colour or to avoid black then that’s fine, but otherwise wearing black is the least you can do to show respect.

I totally understand that your black coat doesn’t fit, can you ring a friend or just go to a charity shop when they open at 9am? If you are in a city then maybe primark?

Ì am surprised too. If it is a formal funeral then the expectation is very smart and black. If you are travelling in one of the funeral cars provided by the undertaker, then you absolutely need to wear black .If you are a more distant member of the family and you cannot get a new coat this morning then my first choice would be the black coat with a scarf. If you really can't get in it then the camel will have to do , with as many black accessories as you have. People saying they don't own any black : if you are on the breadline fair enough, if you are very young, fair enough. If you are an adult you need something appropriate for a funeral where black is expected. The older you get the more funerals you will attend.

Honestly, people don't go out and buy black coats for funerals. I can't see that it will be a problem.

@TolkiensFallow

I’m surprised by the number of people who think this doesn’t matter. If the family request colour or to avoid black then that’s fine, but otherwise wearing black is the least you can do to show respect.

I totally understand that your black coat doesn’t fit, can you ring a friend or just go to a charity shop when they open at 9am? If you are in a city then maybe primark?

Seriously, does anyone ever feel that in order to show respect all guests must, at short notice, spend rather a lot of money on a black coat? That seems quite bizarre to me.

I don't possess anything black. If I had to go to a funeral at the moment, I would wear something like a navy skirt and a dark jumper, with my royal blue coat.

I agree @BashStreetKid. I think being there to support the bereaved is more important than spending ££££ on a new coat

Not camel coloured please. A dark colour would be fine. Just leave it open with a large scarf as others have suggested

Are you going in the car? Take both so you can survey the crowds and see if you would stand out.

Personally I think it's fine - it's brown not hot pink!

Sorry to hear the sad new OP. Although camel is not black, it is a neutral colour and therefore totally appropriate in my view and unlikely to stand out. Please wear the coat and don't worry so much. People will just be glad that you're there.

I would just wear the camel coat. You are wearing dark colours underneath it so I really can't see the issue.

My Dad's funeral was fairly formal. People weren't all in head-to-toe black.

Not everyone has the money to buy a extra ,dark coloured coat. Respect is shown by attending. Wear the Camel coloured coat .I am sure you will not be the only one not wearing black.

It's incredibly bizarre that people think wearing a smart camel coat with black or dark outfit underneath in any way shows disrespect to the person who died or their family.

Turning up somber and smartly dressed even if your coat is camel coloured IS being respectful and as the bereaved party I would be very glad you turned up to show your respects.

I know that because I buried my sister some years ago. I organised her funeral. I wasn't bothered about colour of coats in the slightest. Ripped jeans or neon clothes might have confused me but I would just be glad that her friends and our wider family made the journey to come lay her to rest.

It's a very mixed response, seems like it's just personal choice some people would wear the camel coat some people wouldn't.
When I have a dilemma I find it helpful to think of the worst case scenario. In this case it would be turning up and 499 people are in head to toe black and you're in the camel coat. Maybe you get a couple of raised eyebrows or tuts. If you can deal with that wear the coat, if that would make you hugely uncomfortable get a black one, beg borrow steal or a cheap one!

I don't think people expect people to get a new coat for a funeral. If yours is camel then that's how it is. I think it'll be fine. It's not a red anorak.

We had 300 people turn up and believe me many many were not wearing black coats
Didn't register in the slightest to me nor my parents.

Yes, of course

@DontFatshameBigBarbara

I think with 500 people there is fair odds that at least 1/3 won't be wearing smart black coats! It won't be 499 v 1

It will be 50:50 as people wear smart coats and not everyone has smart black coat but may be smart other colour (few would go bright colour! But camel isn't, it's muted colour too) and put on dark smart outfit

If it's a big, very formal funeral as you say, I wouldn't wear camel. Just layer up the thermal vests/tights, put some gloves on, and you'll be fine.

A good 15 years ago , I had to attend a funeral a few days after I got back from holiday and I didn't have time to go home first. I borrowed a camel coat and wore a black scarf . It was a formal big funeral with a wake afterwards. I was fine.

Funerals here are celebrations of the life of the deceased, which is as they should be.
Even for a young person? Different countries, different ways of doing things but neither of the traditions are wrong and I respect the differences.

Wear camel. There will be 500 people, no one will notice or care what you're wearing. It's not a fashion show, people will want to see you, not your wardrobe.

I agree @verytiredofbeingshoutedat I was just saying worst case scenario would be 499 to 1.
The last funeral I went to some people were wearing red/blue/white anoraks! But then we're scruffy types in my family!

@DontFatshameBigBarbara

That's a sweet reply. I hope OP sees the replies before she goes to funeral xxx

Just be there for your friend OP, it's a sad day already. Wearing a smart coat of a different colour really doesn't matter .Be warm and be there (& also don't take baby! Although I'm sure you won't!)