Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Surely they can’t just get away with this?

121 replies

Melly1801 · 19/01/2022 19:07

Someone found my purse and before I could call to freeze the card, they’ve spent approx £700 on it. There was also cash in there, and the purse was designer. The bank is sorting the spending, and I know I won’t get the cash or purse back.

I have the address of the person who’s been buying stuff, as they’ve stupidly put it down for delivery of items. I have got this from three retailers, so it’s unlikely to be an address they’re using just for this purpose as why would it be the same one? And even if it is, there must be some sort of connection.

Anyway, the police know all of this but it doesn’t sound like they’ll do much as they’ve said they won’t even speak to the bank. The bank’s fraud team doesn’t sound like they’ll do much, other than make sure I don’t have to pay. But that’s not the point - it seems like this piece of 💩 is going to get away with this. They couldn’t even tell me that the items wouldn’t get delivered either, so not only will they get away with it, they’ll be getting free stuff too.

So am I being unreasonable to think they’ll get away with this? I wondered if anyone else had any similar experiences and what the outcome was?

OP posts:
dudsville · 19/01/2022 19:10

I don't have any suggestions but it reminds me of the film "I don't feel at home in this world anymore", a woman who goes after her stolen stuff. Obviously I'm not recommending you do that!

EishetChayil · 19/01/2022 19:12

Hire a couple of burly gents and pay a visit.

Santahasjoinedww · 19/01/2022 19:12

Go speak to the houses either side. Warn them taking parcels in for ndn would be them handling stolen property... I would be camping out waiting for the parcel man with your evidence!!

whatfreshheck · 19/01/2022 19:13

It's annoying but you can't prove who did it. They could say someone else did it and just used their address.

DragonMovie · 19/01/2022 19:13

I had a similar experience. Someone stole my card. They ordered stuff to a store and I called the store and explained it was stolen stuff and asked the police officer from my school to go and ambush them. The store were going to delay the handover of the items while the police officer made his way down there.

The day before the delivery I called to remind the store and they said it’d all been cancelled.

But yeah - same experience as you. Bank weren’t interested so I tried to sort it myself. I did manage to find out who it was later but not thanks to any of my investigation. We did a community resolution and he apologised. I didn’t end up out of pocket.

SandyPanda · 19/01/2022 19:16

Are they local?

CorrBlimeyGG · 19/01/2022 19:18

I had it happen to me, and like you I did all the research for them. It was the people that bought my old house. The police eventually collected my evidence and I never heard another thing about it. They see it as a victimless crime. It didn't feel that way to me.

Conspiracyornotr · 19/01/2022 19:18

What a waste of space 😒 bet u was fuming they have the evidence and can't do anything that's appalling!! X

Clymene · 19/01/2022 19:19

I'd go into the police station and ask why they aren't pursuing a criminal.

Original poster
Melly1801 · 19/01/2022 19:20

So frustrating! Just makes me lose all hope in humanity because a) who would do something like that in the first place and not hand the purse in / post it to me?! And b) do we just live in total anarchy now, so crimes such as this have no repercussions whatsoever? 😡

@SandyPanda about 15 minutes away. Don’t know the area they live in too well but have been advised it’s ‘rough’ and ‘full of druggies’. I believe it’s a woman with children (I have been advised this, and also from the shops I had guessed a woman)

OP posts:
Clymene · 19/01/2022 19:22

Several police forces are apparently devoting resource to 'non-crime' hate crimes so I'd want to know that my local force (who you pay for in your council tax) are actually putting resource to resolve crimes their constituents are concerned about.

QforCucumber · 19/01/2022 19:27

This happened to me and the police said that because the bank refunded the transactions to me then I wasn’t out of pocket and so couldn’t pursue any theft, it would be up to the bank but they always write these things off and so because of that then nothing actually happens to them.

Original poster
Melly1801 · 19/01/2022 19:29

@QforCucumber it’s ridiculous! Both don’t seem bothered at all. And I am out of pocket - £300 odd for the purse, the cash in the purse and the cost of having to replace my driving licence 😤

OP posts:
krustykittens · 19/01/2022 19:35

There is very little will to pursue crime like this, thanks to a police force cut to the bone and an overwhelmed courts system. I agree with you, OP, it is ridiculous.

ImSureISaidNo · 19/01/2022 19:40

If you know their address revenge (without law breaking) is always best served cold.

MatildaTheCat · 19/01/2022 19:41

My cc was scammed and I only found out when I got the bill and saw £3k had been spent at net a porter- not a place I’ve ever shopped!

There was no investigation at all as far as I know, I was simply reimbursed by Visa. Really frustrating as, like you, they had an address and could probably have located the (well dressed)thief.

ikeepseeingit · 19/01/2022 19:43

Raise a complaint, that’s ridiculous of them.

Christienne · 19/01/2022 19:44

Something similar…. Purse stolen, items delivered to a house.

Police visited the address… because they said there was more than one person at the address on the day of the transactions, police couldn’t prove which individual was responsible therefore couldn’t take it further.

I understand the logic, but it’s infuriating!

Bank reimbursed, thankfully

Original poster
Melly1801 · 19/01/2022 19:44

@ImSureISaidNo

If you know their address revenge (without law breaking) is always best served cold.
Well, apparently we can all break the law anyway! But I definitely need to post some of my dog’s poo at the very least.
OP posts:
AgathaMystery · 19/01/2022 19:47

Exact same happened to me in May. I got all the money back via my bank but the police did not care.

I wish now I’d gone round to the person’s house & asked for my (LV) purse back. In fact I can’t believe I didn’t. I’m furious with myself.

WonderfulYou · 19/01/2022 19:47

It’s so crap!!

I have and always will hand back purses, phones, bank cards etc - 1. Because I’m not a dick and 2. I believe in karma.

One day she will be stolen from and realise how horrible it is.

GreenClock · 19/01/2022 19:48

The tenant of the address may not be the miscreant.

I was talking to a housing officer over Christmas who told me that the flat of a vulnerable tenant was being used as a postal address by scumbag relatives. The tenant was a very elderly alcoholic who was being paid in cider to take in parcels and had no idea about the crimes.

So the danger of knocking on the door is that you may be faced with an elderly, disabled or 18yo tenant who has been stitched up themselves.

Original poster
Melly1801 · 19/01/2022 19:48

@AgathaMystery

Exact same happened to me in May. I got all the money back via my bank but the police did not care.

I wish now I’d gone round to the person’s house & asked for my (LV) purse back. In fact I can’t believe I didn’t. I’m furious with myself.

I think I’m going to get husband’s (much scarier looking than me) friends to go round. She’s probably thrown it away now, I’ve been checking on marketplace and eBay but nothing has come up.
OP posts:
Original poster
Melly1801 · 19/01/2022 19:50

@GreenClock

The tenant of the address may not be the miscreant.

I was talking to a housing officer over Christmas who told me that the flat of a vulnerable tenant was being used as a postal address by scumbag relatives. The tenant was a very elderly alcoholic who was being paid in cider to take in parcels and had no idea about the crimes.

So the danger of knocking on the door is that you may be faced with an elderly, disabled or 18yo tenant who has been stitched up themselves.

I’ve spoken with the son of the old next door neighbour, and it’s a woman with children. He didn’t seem surprised, so I am pretty sure whoever lives there has done it.
OP posts:
Farrandau · 19/01/2022 20:28

I discovered a version of this when I got an email from Amazon telling me I’d just had £1000 of camera equipment delivered to an unfamiliar address in south London. (Someone had hacked my account and intercepted emails until this one, once the delivery had clearly been made.) My credit card refunded the money, the police had no capacity to deal with it, and the address was hundreds of miles away.