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Original poster

I’m fat and need a nice dress for a summer wedding with my ex

93 replies

CrazyLadyTheThird · 19/01/2022 15:54

Pretty much as the title says. I’ve gained a tonne of weight during lockdown and I’ve gone from a curvy 16 to a frumpy 22. I’m not saying all size 22 are fat, but I am, I just don’t have the confidence to feel good at this size. It’s a friends wedding in summer. My ex is a mutual so he will be there. I just want to look nice! I’ll try and lose weight, but if I can’t, what the hell do I wear? Where should I even be looking for nice wedding guest dresses? Any advice for shops or dresses will be accepted. At this point I don’t even have to like the dress, I just don’t want to feel like I look huge? Thanks!

OP posts:
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9
Xiaoxiong · 19/01/2022 16:00

Forget about the number on the dress label - between now and then, just start drinking more water, eating smaller portions of healthy food, and doing whatever exercise you can - it will help your confidence massively and make you feel and move better in your own skin. Just start now, don't start Monday, don't do it for your ex or for the wedding - just do it for you, you're worth treating yourself well and your body is worth taking care of too!

There are lots of lovely dresses out there, I would look at Bombshell HQ for instance. Good bra and knickers or shapewear if that's your thing, great hair and makeup, you'll feel amazing!!

Flocon · 19/01/2022 16:03

I think you do have to like the dress. What sort of thing do you like? Maxi? Midi? Mini? You need to feel happy in it and you will shine with happiness all day.

Flocon · 19/01/2022 16:04

Structured or floaty

toastofthetown · 19/01/2022 16:06

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty

Fairylightsongs · 19/01/2022 16:12

Op you’ve six months, lockdown is over, you’re not going to find a dress that looks slimming, size 22 is “fat” on everyone. So you need to either accept your weight and with it accept you will look your size, or don’t accept your weight and focus on healthy eating and exercise. This doesn’t mean you can’t look lovely at a size 22 you can, but you will look your size.

RedCandyApple · 19/01/2022 16:14

I would just concentrate on losing weight, you’ve got 6 months (?) plenty of time to notice a difference

Justkeeppedaling · 19/01/2022 16:16

Get walking! 10,000 steps a day and just eat a bit less, and you can lose a couple of stone before the wedding. Buy something last minute that fits - don't buy something "to slim in to".

10,000 steps doesn't take all that long. I' started on 1/1/22 - I walk half an hour at lunchtime and half an hour during the 7pm slot when there's nothing but crap on TV. I'm sleeping a lot better, and I've lost half a stone by doing this and cutting out bread, cake and biscuits.

SailingNotSurfing · 19/01/2022 16:18

JD Williams, Kaleidoscope and Curvissa do a range of lovely dresses in bigger sizes. Healthy eating and lots of exercise might get you back to your size 16, but don't count on it - nearer the day, order a dress in a variety of sizes (free returns) and see which looks nicest. Size 22 is big but not outrageously so. Funky accessories and fab make-up, hair and nails will all help you feel and look fantastic.

LittleGwyneth · 19/01/2022 16:20

Lots of predictably unhelpful replies so far!

I'm sure you can and may well lose weight before the wedding, but I totally agree it's best to work with the body you've got, not the body that you're hoping to have in the future.

It's tricky because no-one has their summer stuff in yet, but I would look at M&S, who have surprisingly great stuff. Marina Rinaldi has some gems if you've got a bit more budget to spend, ASOS Curve is generally pretty great.

I'd focus on getting something made from a good quality fabric and getting proper, well fitting underwear.

iridescentpaint · 19/01/2022 16:21

Someone on another thread mentioned EverPretty on Amazon, never tried them but they look lovely and not too expensive.

Wotagain · 19/01/2022 16:28

www.scarlettandjo.com/ have some very pretty options, if that's your style and they are designed for a fuller figure.

HippeePrincess · 19/01/2022 16:46

I lost a couple of stone in a couple of months last year and I was not as big as a 22, with more to lose you'd lose it quicker. Just start making diet changes and you'll have more choice in outfits and be more comfortable and confident.
No point buying a dress that may be too big by the summer, and summer dresses wont be in the shops yet so get on the diet and get ready to buy a smaller size.

BannnnaSplit · 19/01/2022 16:47

Like many of us, you’ve gained weight from lockdown- and now feel rubbish. Well, thankfully, you’ve still got time to get back on track and loose some weight again if you choose to. Just ready the portion sizes, drink lots of water, and walk / exercise more than you normally do. A few weeks of these changes will kick start your new healthy eating habits….
It all starts with you, and how YOU FEEL, before you can be motivated into anything.
I’d suggest having your makeup done professionally, trying out a new hair cut or up doooo, even a tan !! Just a few things that make you feel gorgeously sexy and beautiful for yourself. There’s lots of online shopping for plus sizes you could try ( yours, Evans ,simply be to name a few) or just google plus size wedding party dresses? Have a think about what is your style… what’s flattering on you that makes you feel great?
I personally love dresses which are more 1940s era… but it’s not to everyone’s taste….
I find that a belt ( sparkly one ) sinches in the waist to give a lovely shape, and shows off our feminine curves.
Also the choice of underwear helps drastically to suck you in and firm a beautiful hour glass silhouette before putting anything on!
Hope these suggestions are helpful.

Bottom line - go have a wonderful time… your confidence and smile will be the best thing you can wear.

Mrgrinch · 19/01/2022 16:50

Honestly you're at an unhealthy weight and I'd be more focused on making changes to get your health back on track than I would be about looking good for my ex.

Have you tried anything in the past that has helped you with your weight?

ExcaliburBaby · 19/01/2022 16:52

Dorothy Perkins Curve and Simply Be. Also if you’re on Instagram I’d recommend you follow former Bake Off contestant Laura Adlington as she posts loads of amazing dresses and I think she’s a size 22 about. So might give you some ideas.

puffyisgood · 19/01/2022 16:55

Six months should be enough time to lose a lot of weight, especially for someone who on the face of the OP was at their target weight less than 2 years ago. a loss of something like 2st in 6 months feels very doable, for a lot of people that would go from a 22 to about say an 18. loads of stuff looks good on a size 18. Where best to shop depends on OP's age, budget, etc. ASOS? Karen Millen?

Bowwowwowoh · 19/01/2022 16:56

Have a look at the occasion dresses on Curvissa.

A Chi chi or a Jac Jossa on there?

thingymaboob · 19/01/2022 16:56

You could lose 4-6 stone in that time doing a "sensible" diet like WW, slimming world or calorie counting if really dedicated. Obviously there are more extreme diets that will give you quicker results like a fasting or very low calorie, then buy a fab dress a couple of weeks before the event. Do it for yourself, not for your ex (but it's a good incentive).

Bluebluemoon39 · 19/01/2022 16:57

I agree with trying to lose a bit before the wedding - you could lose a good bit before may and It'll give you a goal to aim for and make you feel better.

Try Chichi London for dresses - they do plus sizes and I think they're lovely for weddings. I've attached a pic of the kind of thing they do. I've ordered dresses from them and they're really nice quality.

I’m fat and need a nice dress for a summer wedding with my ex
Bluebluemoon39 · 19/01/2022 16:57

Sorry..here

I’m fat and need a nice dress for a summer wedding with my ex
RicherThanYew · 19/01/2022 17:00

Silly me, I thought this was style and beauty not health and fitness Hmm I agree with the Scarlett and Jo recommendation. I bought and wore a pink dress from them for my baptism and even though I'm a POS fat person I still had a lovely day, I hope you do too.

RadicalFern · 19/01/2022 17:02

Asos’s plus size range (I think it’s called Curve?) has some really gorgeous occasion dresses, and the things are easy to return.

RedCandyApple · 19/01/2022 17:02

@RicherThanYew

Silly me, I thought this was style and beauty not health and fitness Hmm I agree with the Scarlett and Jo recommendation. I bought and wore a pink dress from them for my baptism and even though I'm a POS fat person I still had a lovely day, I hope you do too.
This was posted in aibu? Unless it’s been moved not style and beauty
HopefulProcrastinator · 19/01/2022 17:10

JD Williams have a fantastic range of dresses to suit all sorts of shapes that make up a size 22 and they can next day deliver.

Take a look at their range and hopefully you'll see what's available that could work for you.

If you want to try and get healthier before the wedding that's always a good thing to do, but don't do it just for the wedding and your ex, do it because being healthier is good for you. Think of looking better as a nice side effect of being healthier rather than being the sole focus because at some point you'll think "sod it, I'd rather wear bigger sizes and eat too much of the food" rather than thinking "I like how better I feel when I make healthy choices".