I’m fat and need a nice dress for a summer wedding with my ex

[CrazyLadyTheThird]

Pretty much as the title says. I’ve gained a tonne of weight during lockdown and I’ve gone from a curvy 16 to a frumpy 22. I’m not saying all size 22 are fat, but I am, I just don’t have the confidence to feel good at this size. It’s a friends wedding in summer. My ex is a mutual so he will be there. I just want to look nice! I’ll try and lose weight, but if I can’t, what the hell do I wear? Where should I even be looking for nice wedding guest dresses? Any advice for shops or dresses will be accepted. At this point I don’t even have to like the dress, I just don’t want to feel like I look huge? Thanks!

I put on similar amounts of weight after returning to work after child 2 & am a similar size. Nothing is going to make you (or I) look slim because size 22 isn’t slim. That doesn’t mean you can’t find attractive clothes that look smart and you feel comfortable in. I have fairly good boobs so like wrap style dresses with sleeves, a decent bra & funky tights. I’ve had lovely ones in that sort of style from M&S in the past & some nice wraps/long cardigans to wear with them. Also like my popsy navy/white striped, a couple of lightweight patterned ones from New Look & a Phase 8 dress that isn’t a wrap one but has a deep v neck & an empire line. Snag do lovely tights in bigger sizes. Heels (even low ones) probably make your legs look a bit slimmer initially but I personally go for ballet flats. In the at least part of what makes people attractive is the degree to which they are comfortable with themselves, confident and happy. Work on losing some weight because it’s better for your health and you want to but while you do that recognise what you do like about yourself and what makes you feel best about your current self. What are you happy with? Do you have nice toes & great fingernails you can show off with pretty sandals & matching polish? Is your hair glossy & would look awesome professionally blow dried on the morning of the event? Do you have an hourglass shape that looks best with a thick belt or shapely legs that suit something short or nice boobs that suit a plunged neckline? Focus on whatever your best attributes are and play them up. Also in the end you & your ex are done so try not to focus on what he will think about you and instead on enjoying the day x

Don’t put yourself under pressure to lose weigh. You’ll only make it harder for yourself and feel worse. I’d concentrate on finding something you love and that makes you feel good.
Popsy make lovely dresses in lots of styles up to size 22. You can see photos of real customers on the website modelling the clothes. Worth a look. Hope you find something. The best thing you can do is be happy and confident x

None of the 'lose weight' posts are helpful. The OP is well aware of her own weight gain as she mentioned it in the first place.

If weight loss was that easy, no one would be overweight.

OP, there are some fantastic plus size sites out there. ASOS have some good stuff, ETSY is also very good and there are a lot of people who make custom dresses. Whatever you do wear remember to look confident and happy (even if you have to fake it) That's what will really make you look fabulous.

You’ve got plenty of time to lose weight. I started at the beginning of the year and I’m already 5lbs down. I only have 3 stone to lose overall so I should have it all off by summer if I stick at it. Not doing anything crazy, just eating less and moving more. The bigger you are the quicker it comes off as well.

People aren’t saying the op has to lose weight just that there is plenty of time If that’s what she chooses to do, she could see a big difference by summer size 22 is never going to look slim on anyone and I say that as someone who has been that size

Look at shein. I’m a size 20, give or take, the give is usually down to the extra size by boobs give me. I’m short too so just feel like a round blob.

Anyway, I was feeling exactly the same as you. I had my DDs first communion and wanted to look nice. I bought a beautiful XXL dress from a shop only for it to go no where near me. I ended up just ordering a bunch of dresses off Shein in a desperate attempt to find something. I’ve kept them all and had lots of nice comments wearing them.

If you’ve never used it before the quality can be very hit and miss, but they do free returns. It’s definitely worth a shot.

If you do intend to lose weight I really wouldn’t worry about dresses now- you don’t know what size you’ll be. I’d leave it a few months and see where you are then.

I was in a similar boat for a wedding last Autumn. It’s ok people saying “you’ve plenty of time to lose weight” but for some of us it’s not that simple.
I ordered a few dresses from here and found a couple that were flattering and made me feel confident. Studio 8 (for up to size 26) www.phase-eight.com/new/plus-size/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=1060580391&utm_content=72221442698&utm_term=phase%20eight%20plus%20size&gclid=Cj0KCQiAip-PBhDVARIsAPP2xc10v0LreUOppTfwONO8HIQawNVfnFbTQhmfv2VAVhzr5vV6LwCJb88aAr6wEALw_wcB

@Allthecheeseplease

None of the 'lose weight' posts are helpful. The OP is well aware of her own weight gain as she mentioned it in the first place.

If weight loss was that easy, no one would be overweight.

OP, there are some fantastic plus size sites out there. ASOS have some good stuff, ETSY is also very good and there are a lot of people who make custom dresses. Whatever you do wear remember to look confident and happy (even if you have to fake it) That's what will really make you look fabulous.

She's saying she isn't happy and doesn't have confidence at her current weight so isn't it reasonable to give her confidence and support to lose weight? If she'd have said "I am happy with my body" I'm sure we'd not have said it's plenty of time to lose weight

Unsure of your age and style OP or how formal the wedding is, but a classic tailored coat & dress hat combo can be very elegant and slimming whatever your dress size is.

Phase 8 do a reasonable range

www.phase-eight.com/wedding/mother-of-the-bride/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=1051216296&utm_content=117799533757&utm_term=mother%20of%20the%20bride%20outfits&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI07Szqq6-9QIVIpNmAh28tw-LEAAYAiAAEgI-j_D_BwE

www.vogue.co.uk/fashion/gallery/kate-middleton-wedding-guest-outfits/amp

Thanks everyone for the help! I know I need to lose the weight and I’ve got every excuse you can think of (young kids with SEN, single, working, tired etc) but I’m hoping to get sorted and can do some more exercise once the nights get lighter!

I’ve had a look at some of the suggestions and they’re great thanks! Keep them coming!

[quote toastofthetown]www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty[/quote]

Hi @CrazyLadyTheThird if you are just looking for outfits recommendations rather than dieting advice you might find it helpful to post in the style and beauty section (I've copied the link provided by another poster)

Whether you lose weight or not, your body “type” would be the same. So take a long hard look and decide what this is. Apple or pear? Need to cover your arms? Got long legs? Do V or round necks suit you best? What colours are fab on you? All this is so helpful to know before you even start looking.

Another point to consider is if it’s really hot will you need some anti chafing pants so you can ditch tights? I’m the same size as you and the times when I get compliments are when I’ve chosen a really vivid colour so it’s really worth knowing what shades suit you, even paying to go to one of those colour consultants if you’re not sure

Following with interest 😁

A few people are asking about body shape and proffered style. I’m tall and I’ve got a good chest, but a big belly and a shelf instead of an arse. I don’t like things that are tight fitting, I prefer loose and floaty and I like full length rather than short. I don’t usually wear heals because I’m so tall I just look like a giant, but I have a good clutch collection :)

What about something fitted around the bust then empire waist maybe with lovely flowing layers to the floor. There are some lovely styles here: www.ever-pretty.co.uk/collections/plus-size-dresses

Go to town on your hair and make-up and you will look and feel fab! Do it for you - not for anyone else

I am size 22 and find Shein curve has some lovely stuff and not expensive. Take your measurements first before you order. I have always found the stuff to be good quality. I got a couple of lovely dresses on boohoo also. Get your make up and hair done and nice accessories. You will look fab

@thingymaboob

You could lose 4-6 stone in that time doing a "sensible" diet like WW, slimming world or calorie counting if really dedicated. Obviously there are more extreme diets that will give you quicker results like a fasting or very low calorie, then buy a fab dress a couple of weeks before the event. Do it for yourself, not for your ex (but it's a good incentive).

6 stone in 6 months is in absolutely no way ‘sensible’. Those are the types of results you get on VLCD meal replacement diets at 600kcal a day.

2lbs a week is the top end of what the NHS recommends as a healthy rate of weight loss. Yes, weight drops quicker at first when you are heavy (which I am, so no judgement from me) but that chunk you lose in the first week is mostly water and it levels out pretty quickly.

This is a good incentive and thing to focus on to lose weight. Don’t go crazy on some mad diet but reduce calories by 500 a day and start moving more - try Leslie Sansone for indoor steps; even if 15 mins a day, no exercise experience needed. Even if not for how you look but for health

Scarlett and Jo are good for plus size frocks. I size down though because they do come up big.

Start being kind to yourself. A positive mindset, a healthier diet and some gentle exercise will make you feel better about yourself. You don't "need" to lose weight but you need to do things that make you feel happy.

www.popsyclothing.co.uk have some lovely dresses

Studio8 is phase eight plus size, lots of different styles this ones floaty and the top and hem will take the eye away from belly and bum for example

www.johnlewis.com/studio-8-calie-floral-print-asymmetric-midi-dress-pink-multi/p4021694

Book in to get thoroughly pampered before so you’re feeling at your most confident.
Manicure, pedicure and tan in the days before. Hair and makeup done professionally on the morning.

Jolie Moi do some beautiful dresses - I find them very flattering for my over-sized post lockdown bod!

Reformation have some nice (but very pricey) wedding guest dresses

www.thereformation.com/dresses/long?prefn1=size&prefv1=22&gtmAction=add&gtmType=Size&gtmValue=22&categoryFilterApplied=Size