Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you have a ‘f**k’ off fund

103 replies

Jay36 · 18/01/2022 18:27

Was talking to a few friends today about the idea of having a ‘f**k off fund’ after seeing this idea going round on social media.

The idea is that you have enough money saved that you can easily access to give you the opportunity to say ‘f off’ if you hate your job and just need to quit/if your relationship isn’t working out and you just need to leave.

Think it’s a good idea but how feasible it’ll be for most is questionable? What about you? Do you have a ‘eff off fund’

OP posts:
Moanranger · 18/01/2022 22:17

Like walking on sonshine my gran said to me (and It v much stuck in my mind) “ always have your own money* Wise words!

Zoom101 · 18/01/2022 22:19

@Chely

I have a financial cushion that I am building up. At one point it was a get out of my marriage fund but then we sorted all that out and I spent most of it on a new patio instead.
With your partner under it? 😉😆
Zoom101 · 18/01/2022 22:21

@Puddstalk

I have a “F* You” fund - started by my DF when I was 15 - it’s the only time I ever heard my DF swear - he told me I needed the FU fund to ensure I never had to stay anywhere I did not want to be, one of his employees had been attacked and put in hospital by her partner - he added to the fund every month for the rest of his life - I still have it - thankfully I have never needed it.
What an amazing man to do that for you! He clearly loved you very much.
OhMyDaze2022 · 18/01/2022 22:21

How much are you supposed to have in this Fuck Off Fund? A month's wages? Stuff months?

TheFishWillSeeYouNow · 18/01/2022 22:22

I do not have this, I like my life too much to need one Grin

thatsnotabadger · 18/01/2022 22:23

I was always always taught by my DM (single mum, screwed over by my dad) to have savings that were mine and mine alone. DH knows I have this but not how much.

adviceatthislatestage · 18/01/2022 22:32

Many years ago, a police officer told me to have a running away fund.

I didn't listen.

Sometimes wonder if I should have run at the time, with the very little I had as it's much harder trying to do so after 30 years.

Smallkeys · 18/01/2022 22:37

Does your other half know about the savings there is another thread where mostly the answer is their partners do know what they have . I was a bit surprised my DH doesn’t know how much I have.

Gilly12345 · 18/01/2022 22:41

I have a bank account that I call my running away fund, I save my Birthday and Christmas money in it and will use it for a holiday if I want one on my own, current balance just over £6k.

DukeofEarlGrey · 18/01/2022 22:43

It IS just savings but not quite. For those who are married/cohabiting it needs to be only in your name. It also needs to be enough for you to be confident telling the DH/DJob/Whatever to fuck off. And you need to know in your head that that's what it's for and not blow it on anything frivolous.

I recently left a job that was ruining my metal health with its bullying culture.I did find a new job to go to but if I hadn't, the fact that I would be able to walk anyway kept my mental health just about in tact.

skipperjonce · 18/01/2022 22:44

I have a fuck you fund. Gives me the power to say fuck you to anyone anytime and survive.

DukeofEarlGrey · 18/01/2022 22:47

@Puddstalk

I have a “F* You” fund - started by my DF when I was 15 - it’s the only time I ever heard my DF swear - he told me I needed the FU fund to ensure I never had to stay anywhere I did not want to be, one of his employees had been attacked and put in hospital by her partner - he added to the fund every month for the rest of his life - I still have it - thankfully I have never needed it.
@Puddstalk he sounds wonderful
tetleyteafan · 18/01/2022 22:55

Yes, I have one. It's sensible. My DH has one too, but I don't know about it obviously Wink

TurtleBackUp · 18/01/2022 22:58

Absolutely I do. A large one - not that I need it anymore because I no longer have young children / am at no financial risk if my DP and I parted. But I needed it in the past and I can not express how grateful I was to be heart broken but not on my arse.

If anyone know about it = savings.
If no one knows = fuck off fund.

roarfeckingroarr · 18/01/2022 23:00

Yup. £20k sitting just in case.

SE123 · 18/01/2022 23:22

It never occurred to me to have a fuck off fund but I could sell some stuff if needed but I'm not the one who will be fucking off.

OnwardsAndSideways1 · 18/01/2022 23:27

I think it means different things to different people.

I couldn't have a 'fuck off' fund as I'm a widow so there's no one to fuck off from, and if I did leave my job, I'd be on benefits (if they'd let me have them).

I am the sole earner, sole provider of saving, sole everything.

I am extremely glad that I'm financially independent and don't have to rely on a man at all, not because I wanted to fuck off, but because my husband died young, and him getting sick and dying didn't ruin me or my family financially, which is a huge blessing. So many people's lives are terrible when they get cancer or someone dies, because their earnings just don't cover the lifestyle, which is very understandable given it's all based on two incomes these days. Many of the cancer charities offer financial advice because so many people are in difficulties.

So having financial independence, including a plan if I needed to leave work is so important to me. It would take me about two years to properly sort out and downsize but I could do it.

KohlaParasaurus · 18/01/2022 23:29

Yes. I came across the concept of "FU money" from FIRE websites as a savings pot which isn't enough to fund early retirement but is enough to allow you walk away from a job you hate and know you'll be able to stay afloat financially for a while till you find something better. The relief I felt when I first started to be able to save a little bit each month towards a safety net was immense. My DH knows about it because I was prepared to use it a few years ago. Fortunately, I was able to go straight from one job to another and it's still intact.

It's not a running away fund, but I believe every woman should try to ensure she has sole access to enough money to keep herself and her children housed and fed until she finds her feet if she does have to flee her marriage.

SmellyOldOwls · 18/01/2022 23:30

No but when I start back to work after maternity leave I will start squirrelling money into one.

Zoflorabore · 18/01/2022 23:32

No but I wish I did Blush

sessell · 18/01/2022 23:34

Yes. That's what I called mine. It enabled me to fuck off from a job situation that had turned horrible. It enabled me to go self employed, knowing that I had the back up funds if it didn't work out. I never needed to break into it, but knowing it was there made all the difference.

immersivereader · 18/01/2022 23:41

Yeah, probably about 10k in it. Would cover a couple of months I guess

WhatsitWiggle · 18/01/2022 23:41

It's not just savings, it's a specific pot that is not to be touched unless of xyz situation.

Mine started as a job safety net, so building up 3 months worth of salary. Once I had that, then I saved regularly but could use that eg to upgrade my car or go on holiday. But the safety net savings stayed put.

Mossstitch · 19/01/2022 00:00

@adviceatthislatestage I did it after 30 years of marriage.................. Bliss👍 yes, I should have done it sooner but it's never too late💐

eekbumbler · 19/01/2022 00:09

10 pence in my pocket in case I need to make a phonecall - Brownies.

Nope, nothing, but it's only me and a 12 year old so not much to fuck off from other than hormonal rages. (Both of us?).

Swipe left for the next trending thread