Do you have a ‘f**k’ off fund

[Jay36]

Was talking to a few friends today about the idea of having a ‘f**k off fund’ after seeing this idea going round on social media.

The idea is that you have enough money saved that you can easily access to give you the opportunity to say ‘f off’ if you hate your job and just need to quit/if your relationship isn’t working out and you just need to leave.

Think it’s a good idea but how feasible it’ll be for most is questionable? What about you? Do you have a ‘eff off fund’

@Kshhuxnxk

Yes had one for nearly 30 years now. Originally it came about because my DM was stuck in an abusive marriage and I swore never to be that vulnerable.

My mum told me from late teens to always have the financial means to walk. My dad refused to let her work and abused her for years mentally (and I suspect physically as well)

70 years old married for nearly 50 years. Still got the fund, just in case.

Jessica Mitford had an ‘escape fund’ as a child growing up in a dysfunctional family in the 1930’s. She used it to run away to the States.
Reading about the Mitfords inspired my generation to follow this system throughout life. It’s not just savings!

Yes, kind of. It's not a fuck off fund, but it was a buffer. It did mean I was able to leave my full time job to become a carer to DD when she fell ill without it being too big of a drama. Though as time is going on (6 years now) that and ongoing medical costs are eating away at our retirement fund, but it is what it is.

We've always been fairly frugal and sensible with money. It used to annoy me that people around spent frivolously and seemed to get away on living on credit. But when the chips were down, and our income halved overnight, we were able to have one of us at home when we needed it most.

I get having a savings fund but not a fuck off fund - if you feel you need it for that specific thing then you’re in the wrong relationship.
If you have a savings account for any situation then fine.

I have a “F* You” fund - started by my DF when I was 15 - it’s the only time I ever heard my DF swear - he told me I needed the FU fund to ensure I never had to stay anywhere I did not want to be, one of his employees had been attacked and put in hospital by her partner - he added to the fund every month for the rest of his life - I still have it - thankfully I have never needed it.

I have exactly £105 in mine

I have a financial cushion that I am building up. At one point it was a get out of my marriage fund but then we sorted all that out and I spent most of it on a new patio instead.

The savings were always in my sole name (he was higher rate tax payer I wasn't!) I've always kept enough for 6 months rent and basic expenses aside

I had one. Came in very handy to leave exDP. Slowly trying to build up a new one, although I have some jewellery I could sell in an absolute emergency

My husband knows how much I have in savings (as I do for him) but all my money is in my name only and I have enough in cash to be able to quit my job or rent a flat at short notice. I agree that it’s hugely important.

@WonderfulYou

I get having a savings fund but not a fuck off fund - if you feel you need it for that specific thing then you’re in the wrong relationship. If you have a savings account for any situation then fine.

It's not always about walking away from a relationship. It can be to escape a job you hate or if you need to start over for any reason.

I think how important this is depends on how your finances are set up, especially if you are in a relationship. If you are working and all your income goes in to a joint account that your partner has access to, you definitely need an independent account. If he objects to that, all the more reason to have it. If you are married and financially dependent you need this x10. If you are co habiting and financially dependent you need this x100.
Its not just so you can leave an unhappy relationship. What if your partner was run over by a bus/sacked/jailed/log term sick?

I had one and I used it to actually fuck off. 😂 Going to start building it up again. Anything I don't spend will eventually go to my DD in any case.

Yes, had one for years. Trusted girlfriend held the B.S. passbook for me so nasty bastard had no idea.

I think this is the essay that coined the phrase (although not the concept).

www.thebillfold.com/2016/01/a-story-of-a-fuck-off-fund/

And yes I have one.

Yes, I've had an F.O.F since my first marriage ended. Nobody knows about it except me, and it will stay that way. Once bitten, twice shy!

Sort of. DH and I are saving to buy a house. We're both saving into separate ISAs and savings accounts for tax benefits / interest / diversification.

Obviously if we split then we have to split all savings etc. But when he is irritating me, I do think - well that's a year's rent up front while I sort myself out.

@Chely

I have a financial cushion that I am building up. At one point it was a get out of my marriage fund but then we sorted all that out and I spent most of it on a new patio instead.

@Chely please confirm that 'I made my marriage problems go away' and 'then I built a patio' are two unrelated incidents. .

@inininsomnia

DH both have considerable but pretty equal savings in our own names (they are in Premium Bonds and S&S Isas so cant get joint accounts)

They aren’t designed to be a fuck off fund, but It’s comforting to know that if DH suddenly and unexpectedly turned into an arse, then my savings would get me checked into a hotel and able to rent somewhere or put a deposit down before we sorted out the house.

Slightly different point but if your DP/DH died suddenly (checks DH to see if he is still breathing) would you be able to manage financially until probate? Ie do you have individual access to enough money to tide you over?

Everybody should be able to leave a relationship with another person or workplace. It's savings.

F OFF fund to me is millions... such that you can have very low tolerance for something you would normally suck up in your role eg housework, boring job...

I was always told to keep my bus fare home.

Yes.